Army Act… Again.

Made during the British Raj. Adopted with some amendments in 1950. Amended over the years and decades. Bestowed with significant powers under 21st Amendment of the Constitution – after the APS incident – and then extended for once.

And now, just when the country was morally and financially down to its historic rock bottom, the incumbents are up with the Act again, to downgrade the country further.

The loudmouth holders of this Act today will be held under the same Act tomorrow. It won’t discriminate among civilians. In fact, it will divide the masses further.

The duckling that roared ‘mujhe kyu nikala’ and ‘vote ko izzat do’ will be roaring the same slogans again in the future like an idiot in a loop.

For now, the biggest challenge for Pakistan is to not fall for this Act. This Act should not be used to be tried on civilians. It should be halted. For all the trespasses and vandalizing, there are civilian rules and civilian courts for the civilians. The deep state’s authoritarianism will hurt the sentiments of the masses and the lower strata of ‘bloody civilians’ will be highlighted even more.

Idiots on both sides.

In the short-run, it will hurt the civilians and the political opponents.

In the long-run, it will hurt the ruling politicians.

And in the forever-run, it will hurt those who are keen to use it again against their fellow citizens.

A country is for people. People are not for a country. Period.

Road to Resurrection

After this much disgrace and insult, if I would have been the PM – in place of the incumbent Joker – I would have done the following right away, without thinking about my future, which is already dark:

1. The chief boy to be sacked and sent home immediately.

2. Initiation of court martials against those who were involved in politics since 2015. Including those who have retired, gracefully or disgracefully. + Musharraf who evaded punishment in his life.

3. Top hierarchy of the police in Punjab and Islamabad to be suspended with recommended terminations.

4. All those arrested in the last 3-4 days for property damages to be released. All charges dropped.

5. All the politicians to be released immediately. All charges dropped.

6. Announcement of the date for General Elections and Provincial Elections of Punjab and KP.

7. Civil services to be suspended. Working civil servants to report to the Federal Government with immediate effect for new duties under technocrats or new hierarchies of administrative departments to be run by long, competent and educated employees. Also, FPSC doesnt make sense since 18th amendment. It’s idiotic.

8. All blasphemy charged prisoners recommended to be released immediately. Starting from Junaid Hafeez. Courts to dismiss cases in 1 week.

9. All the rangers personnel involved in Islamabad Court’s drama to be suspended. Their ordering head to be terminated.

10. PDM to be dissolved.

11. General Babar Iftikhar to be appointed as Chairman SECP for three months. Failing performance to lead towards court martial for meddling in things far beyond his brain.

12. Officers involved in making and breaking of the barred border at Durand Line to be put on trial. With inquiry of funds.

13. PSDP to be halted for a year except for electricity and water projects.

14. All foreign funded projects to be closed with immediate effect. All their employees to be terminated with 3 months salary with a fixed ceiling of Rs.250k.

15. Extrajudicial forces and levies to vacate Balochistan immediately. Local administration to run the administration of the province without a single man in uniform.

16. All Cantts to be disolved and merged with their local development authorities.

17. All lands to be taken from all government employees – military or non-military – that are beyond 1 acre.

18. All lands to be taken from all landlord families – not person, entire families – beyond 250 acres.

19. No more summer holidays for courts.

20. Courts to work in two shifts. 16 hours a day, 6 days a week until pending cases are solved.

21. Laws to be made to take away powers of violent from armed forces and police. Anyone involved in violence to be terminated.

22. Rape and murder to be only punishes through capital punishment. Qisas and diyat to be ended. Period.

I will write all these to the concerned authorities, entire Cabinet, the Senate, the Parliament, the Chief Justice, etc.

After that, anyone can come and get me. I’m done. Won’t resign till the caretaker setup is formed.

And with that, history will remember the joker as ‘The Joker’ who saved the Gotham City. At least tried.

P.S. even writing this felt SO GOOD.

Chaos and Literature

Let’s have some classic words’ resonance in our current times. For literary and educational purposes.

Orwellian times: when the internet is disrupted and social media sites are blocked. And the truth remains hidden.

Frankenstein’s monster: when your own creation goes against you.

1984: when you can’t speak what you want to say. When you can’t move as you want to move. When you can’t watch the truth on TV. And when you can be abducted for anything against the Big Brother.

Big Brother: the one who is watching your timelines and listening to your phone calls and making you a traitor.

Kafkaesque: when nothing makes sense even with Google and the whole world on your palm. When figuring out becomes as complex as this.

Catch-22: though it’s 2023 but the catch is amazing. Every rule is contradictory. You may destroy and kill and get 1000 per abuser. Or you may go to jail for the same. You may kill 444 and roam free while the other may go to jail for a tweet.

Faustian bargain: when a person deals with the ones he names and shames in past to get a seat in the capital. The ex did this bargain. The current did this bargain. The next will do the same.

Herculean: a task that cannot be done. Even with blood and bodies. Like moving the boys to the barracks.

Jekyll and Hyde: when everything is both black and white and you don’t know if you will agree with this same person the next moment or not. You may cherish him now and he may take a u-turn tomorrow. Leaving you with nothing but to denounce yourself.

Utopia & Dystopia: state media is presenting utopia. Some presenting dystopia. And 20 others shifting from one to other in the same bulletin.

Dickensian: here’s the catch-22. It’s neither utopia nor dystopia. It’s dickensian. With a cliche of ‘elite capture’.

Lastly, my favorite;

Fight club: when people come out at will with a happy agenda to burn the buildings and beat each other with consent and contest. The winner is the winner. The loser isn’t the loser because the fights never end. And you cannot talk about this at all.

Ass Always

Boys are of the view that allegations without proofs are not acceptable.

Now who’s going to tell the cat that allegations with proofs are not allegations. They are…

Let’s not tell. Let’s eat at home. In this peace without a piece. Of hyperinflation.

But we can write essays.

For example, a long time ago, Hamood ur Rehman Commission came up with objective findings against allegations. But then, it was preferred by the state to keep the allegations as allegations so that the narrative of allegations without proofs may sustain as unacceptable. The report was snubbed.

We can go on with another essay. When allegations by the parents of the murdered children were dismissed with the escape of Ehsan Ullah Ehsan escaped.

Or we can go on with another essay when court called Rao Anwar to put him on trial based on allegations of 444 murders. But then – again – the court decided to let the allegations sustain.

Right now there is another allegation. The government – PPP and PMLN – is violating the constitution every single day. 90 days have passed. Yet. No shame. Not even among Bhuttos for the Bhutto who allegedly held the constitution in this same parliament.

And the boys – ass always – are on the wrong side.

Allegations. And alligators.

I almost forgot. There’s another allegation. India doesn’t want to come for the Asia Cup. Other countries have agreed with India. But the government says that the tournament should be played in Pakistan as everything is alright. Alright?

No. The government and the boys are of the view that everything isn’t alright and peace is not peaceful and elections can’t be held.

Paradox. Dilemmas. Pandora boxes. Same day, different views on different mics. Such is the mess.

In the turn of the events – nothing new in the turn – you must know the villains of the past are the innocents of today. And innocents of the past are villains of today. Ther is no messiah. Ther is no man. There is no institution. There is no one without allegations.

But who’s going to bell the cat with a little whisper in the ear that allegations with proofs aren’t allegations.

London, Westminster Abbey & Coronation

London.

It’s the city of Orwell’s Animal Farm. Marx’s grave. Dickensian. Shakespeare’s plays. Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein. Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Tolkien’s Hobbit.

It’s also the city of Churchill. Margaret Thatcher. Newton. Florence Nightingale. Alexander Fleming.

It’s also the city of Judi Dench. Daniel-Day Lewis. And some other spectacular people on screen.

It’s also the city of V for Vendetta. When V decided to bomb Westminster Abbey and the Londoners cherished.

It’s also the city that played an integral part in Crusades. World Wars. And everything around bombs and bullets anywhere around the world. Including lies to be bombed in Iraq.

London it is. Living its moment of Ertugrul. Of the past that’s long gone. And lost. Like the Ottomans.

But London kept its royal bloodline. For the sake of a show. This show. And some Netflix stuff. And some mixing of royal sperms in unroyal wombs. To keep themselves in the news. Like today. A mockery.

Thorn. Crown. Glorious. Past. Faith. Mary of Magdalene. Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!

World is an Evolutionary Being

There are two extremes. On one side are apparent liberals and on the other side is everyone else. For last some days, some cruel comments on past figures are being thrown without seeing the historical norms of that time. But history isn’t as clueless as these commentators.

Aisha RA was born in 613 AD. Some say she was married at 9. Some mentioned 12. According to various other sources, she was 15. Some even point to 18.

In an article by Nilofar Ahmed (Dawn, 2012), who has done some extensive research on this topic, the age of Aisha RA is widely mispresented. Hisham is the narrator with Aisha RA married at 9-years of age. Many believe that his narrations are weak and not according to historical facts. Long story short, according to the findings of Nilofar Ahmed, Aisha RA was 18 when she got married, and moved with the Prophet PBUH at the age of 21.  You can read her article for more substance.

Even if not, the debate is useless. Because that was 14 centuries ago. The world was different. There was no 16-year education at that time. Not HEC for verification. No schools and colleges selling degrees. People used to get married early. Very early. Average life span was decades shorter than today.

By the way, do you know there was not a single woman alive at that time in New Zealand? Yes. Because it was not founded yet. Just giving you some substance for future idiotic theories.

Another idiotic content on the internet is regarding Jinnah’s marriage. He’s also being labeled with ugly words. Well, according to major sources, he married thrice, and all his wives were around 18 at the time of marriage. But again, those times were different. For example:

Gandhi’s wife was 14 at the time of marriage.

Nehru’s wife was 17.

Prem Chand’s wife was 11.

Rabindranath Tagore – the voice of women rights and writer of national anthems of India and Bangladesh – married when his wife was 10.

So? Should we burn all their words and books and their entire countries? No. You may disagree. But you should know the times were different. The whole human race didn’t move directly to 2020s with Harvard in the West and nothing in the East.

All those using words like “pedophiles” have biased hate for those they are labeling. Nothing more than that.

Almost forgot, next time you move your bum like Elvis Pressley, remember that he married Priscilla Presley when she was 14. But don’t bother. You may disagree and keep shaking your bums. At least bums don’t lie.

Aristotle believed that women were inferior to men. Same were the ideas of Rousseau and Schopenhauer. With complete disagreement with them on this, you cannot throw their rest of their works.

To be clear, one thing is certain that women have suffered for ages. Today’s roar for women rights and feminism definitely have substance. And such roar has taken turns to rationality, equality and modernism with time. Still, you can have disagreement at certain points and instances. But nothing can be dismissed as a whole. Not any historical personality. Not any philosophy.

Usual deviations. And trespasses.  

By the way, people also use right words for wrong reasons. Like philosophy of Nietzsche was used by his sister in collaboration with Nazi regime to support their brutal war on other races. They even used the idea of Nietzsche’s Übermensch for their Aryan race.

By the way, someone has overused this Übermensch so much that I am refraining from Nietzscheism these days. Remember those golden days when His Highness himself was Zarathustra? Forget it.  

Now a question of etiquette – as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? As Zarathustra must leave now for another sermon in another village.

Audio Leaks

It’s another disgusting age. This time of audio and video leaks. Most recently, audios are taking a lead. Thanks heavens. Otherwise, it would have been a naked animal farm.

Sometimes, leaks are against judges. Sometimes against opponents. Sometimes against others dissidents. Rarely against the one on lap at the moment.

And never against the military.

Because it is the military. The intelligence. Setting another line of moral degradation of the society.

First, they came up with a plan of renting the state.
Then they came up with plans of Jihad and blasphemy and playing with fire.
Then they came up with plans of enlightenment modernization and abductions.
Now, the plans are to listen, record and leak.

Apparently, they are neutrals. Indifferent. Far away from politics. Hidden inside Cantts and DHAs. Yet, they are clearly listening to everyone. And they are clearly behind this mess of leaks.

Once, a PM defended the eavesdropping. Now he’s not defending anymore because he’s been excommunicated.

The current PM on the lap is fine. He got angry – a little – when his own conversations got leaked from the PM house, but then he was fine.

It’s time for all the civilian idiots to sit and shut the establishment first. Else, nothing is going to change. They will keep on listening. They will keep on releasing. They will keep on robbing lands. They will keep on building an empire.

You can’t pass the check posts without being checked.

You can’t enter their housing societies.

They start with Phase-I and then keep on expanding beyond X.

They start with Askari I and then never stop.

Today, the country has more Cantts than proper cities.

People just don’t get it. It isn’t much different like the situation in Palestine. Or Israel. Or whatever.
It’s like Apartheid of South Africa. Or Kashmir since 370. But no one gets it. Except His Highness.

Next time, when you shed some crocodile tears for others, spare a few drops against the evesdrops and all the mess that stands and builds around. Until then, know the problem. And sleep corrected.

Instant Orgasmic Cricket

Someone missed a century. Couldn’t touch the last ball. Millions missed an orgasm for the night.

No one will remember the great innings of Imad. And his useless sacrifice. Or chacha’s knock.

Imagine if someone could have played a similar, almost-orgasmic, innings from New Zealand, Pakistan would have definitely won.

Our great opener couldn’t make a century after staying for 20 overs. Their Chapman came at 5th and made a century in the 18th. Don’t take a bow. You can never get this.

By the way, isn’t this the most dead pitch in the world?

Anyway. We have had a recipe for years now. It is the recipe of juggling.

Drop the 3rd one who was an opener.
Put a new 3rd.
Put the other opener at 4th.
Bring 7th at 5th.
8th at 6th.
And keep Shadab no matter what.

Keep on juggling so that no one may settle. May never settle. And the argument stays intact that they all fail and the openers are the only two saviors we have.

The last major trophy we won was CT 2017. A remarkable win. The stars of that tournament were disgraced – some due to their own self and some due to politics of favoritism. Remember those stars? They didn’t get such hype on social media and they stayed in the domains of cricket. Fakhar. Sarfaraz. Hassan. Aamir. Malik. Imad. Junaid. And others.

The thing was, they were not juggled. Only Shahzad was replaced – justifiably – and then there was no stopping for Pakistan. A 180 runs win against India in the final.

But bless you. You may not remember those days. Now is the time of reels. Shorts. Short term span. And instant orgasms.

Another T20 home series is lost with ‘big stars’ in the squad.

Congratulations. Wake up now. The dream is over.