Windmill of Martyrs

If you take over the entire industry of martyrdom; no one can beat you. Just have a monopoly in this specific industry and you will become indispensable.

Those you declare martyrs, are martyrs.
Those you failed defending, are martyrs.
Those dead in collateral damage, are martyrs.
School kids, martyrs.
Customers, martyrs.
Teachers, martyrs.
Blunders, martyrs.
Business, martyrs.

Just make a windmill of martyrs. Make martyrs. Sell martyrs. Advertise martyrs. Make an entrance of ‘Welcome to Windmill of Martyrs’. Don’t shy away.

Make it a brand. Sind songs. Make movies. Emotionalize it. Hype it. Make it an obligation. Even for those who don’t oblige.

And then, the whole estate shall be truly yours.

Evidences Required in Pakistan

Rape: Four witnesses. Or a video in good print. DNA test is a big no.

Forced Conversion: A video message at gun point will dismiss the case instantly.

Murder: First of all, a dead body. Then it depends on the murderer. 444 can’t convict. 1 can.

Treason: A tweet would be enough.

Blasphemy: A blame would be perfectly enough.

Abduction: Can’t be proved until the abducted person comes forward himself. But then, he isn’t abducted.

Honor killing: A dead body. Followed by a long trial to freedom for all. After all, it’s a family matter.

Harassment: Ah! Tricky slope of sin. It happens. And it never happens. No evidence is enough. Yet, a blame is enough.

Drugs: No urine test. No blood tests. Nothing for evidence. Depends on who is not in power.

Fraud: Cannot be proved. Banks don’t know who transferred the money to whom and where.

Theft: Clear CCTV footage where the burglar shows his CNIC. Otherwise, a future encounter will close the case.

Virginity: Two finger-test. But it can escalate. In case.

Civil rights: A mutilated dead body would be needed.

Mass Murders: More than one mutilated dead bodies would be needed.

State Violence: Instantly proved. Instantly dismissed. Instant transfers. Instantly forgotten.

Corruption: A jigsaw puzzle where rules and laws are presented but then there are countering rules and laws. Can never be proved. Bureaucracy on both sides.

Civil disobedience: To be a civilian is an enough proof.

The Mazaris

Who needs son(s) when they have a daughter like Imaan Mazari? But then, there are some who have neither.

When the kids were fleeing the country, she returned from abroad to step into the wild arena. After all, gladiators live, fight, and even perish in the arena.

How many differences does she has with her mother, Shireen Mazari?

How many times have the spectators enjoyed their rare tussles on Twitter?

How many colors were given to the video clip when she snubbed her mother with a “don’t” after coming out of the court yesterday?

So? You just don’t know democracy. Not at home. Not beyond.

Yesterday noon, she managed to get bail for her mother. She was apprehended again by the police at night. When she couldn’t convince the forces, she said to her mother, “Amma! I love you and I’m gonna get you out”. Went inside. And broke down. Understandably.

So, why did she return to Pakistan? For this? Some missing people? Naru? Their relatives? Social justice? Civil supremacy? And her dissenting mother?

So, why not?

People often abandon their old folks without dissent. As Mohsin Hamid once wrote, ” For when we migrate, we murder from our lives those we leave behind.”

The majority that goes out never comes back They fulfill their family duties through WhatsApp. Sometimes, funerals too.

Tweeting and talking on social media for civil rights from abroad is far easier than doing the same while breathing here.

I remember another “I’m gonna get you” from another lawyer in the movie “And Justice for All” of Al-Pacino. And he did get what he wanted.

I hope the Mazaris will find peace soon under this perpetual uncivil rule.

Army Act… Again.

Made during the British Raj. Adopted with some amendments in 1950. Amended over the years and decades. Bestowed with significant powers under 21st Amendment of the Constitution – after the APS incident – and then extended for once.

And now, just when the country was morally and financially down to its historic rock bottom, the incumbents are up with the Act again, to downgrade the country further.

The loudmouth holders of this Act today will be held under the same Act tomorrow. It won’t discriminate among civilians. In fact, it will divide the masses further.

The duckling that roared ‘mujhe kyu nikala’ and ‘vote ko izzat do’ will be roaring the same slogans again in the future like an idiot in a loop.

For now, the biggest challenge for Pakistan is to not fall for this Act. This Act should not be used to be tried on civilians. It should be halted. For all the trespasses and vandalizing, there are civilian rules and civilian courts for the civilians. The deep state’s authoritarianism will hurt the sentiments of the masses and the lower strata of ‘bloody civilians’ will be highlighted even more.

Idiots on both sides.

In the short-run, it will hurt the civilians and the political opponents.

In the long-run, it will hurt the ruling politicians.

And in the forever-run, it will hurt those who are keen to use it again against their fellow citizens.

A country is for people. People are not for a country. Period.

Road to Resurrection

After this much disgrace and insult, if I would have been the PM – in place of the incumbent Joker – I would have done the following right away, without thinking about my future, which is already dark:

1. The chief boy to be sacked and sent home immediately.

2. Initiation of court martials against those who were involved in politics since 2015. Including those who have retired, gracefully or disgracefully. + Musharraf who evaded punishment in his life.

3. Top hierarchy of the police in Punjab and Islamabad to be suspended with recommended terminations.

4. All those arrested in the last 3-4 days for property damages to be released. All charges dropped.

5. All the politicians to be released immediately. All charges dropped.

6. Announcement of the date for General Elections and Provincial Elections of Punjab and KP.

7. Civil services to be suspended. Working civil servants to report to the Federal Government with immediate effect for new duties under technocrats or new hierarchies of administrative departments to be run by long, competent and educated employees. Also, FPSC doesnt make sense since 18th amendment. It’s idiotic.

8. All blasphemy charged prisoners recommended to be released immediately. Starting from Junaid Hafeez. Courts to dismiss cases in 1 week.

9. All the rangers personnel involved in Islamabad Court’s drama to be suspended. Their ordering head to be terminated.

10. PDM to be dissolved.

11. General Babar Iftikhar to be appointed as Chairman SECP for three months. Failing performance to lead towards court martial for meddling in things far beyond his brain.

12. Officers involved in making and breaking of the barred border at Durand Line to be put on trial. With inquiry of funds.

13. PSDP to be halted for a year except for electricity and water projects.

14. All foreign funded projects to be closed with immediate effect. All their employees to be terminated with 3 months salary with a fixed ceiling of Rs.250k.

15. Extrajudicial forces and levies to vacate Balochistan immediately. Local administration to run the administration of the province without a single man in uniform.

16. All Cantts to be disolved and merged with their local development authorities.

17. All lands to be taken from all government employees – military or non-military – that are beyond 1 acre.

18. All lands to be taken from all landlord families – not person, entire families – beyond 250 acres.

19. No more summer holidays for courts.

20. Courts to work in two shifts. 16 hours a day, 6 days a week until pending cases are solved.

21. Laws to be made to take away powers of violent from armed forces and police. Anyone involved in violence to be terminated.

22. Rape and murder to be only punishes through capital punishment. Qisas and diyat to be ended. Period.

I will write all these to the concerned authorities, entire Cabinet, the Senate, the Parliament, the Chief Justice, etc.

After that, anyone can come and get me. I’m done. Won’t resign till the caretaker setup is formed.

And with that, history will remember the joker as ‘The Joker’ who saved the Gotham City. At least tried.

P.S. even writing this felt SO GOOD.

Chaos and Literature

Let’s have some classic words’ resonance in our current times. For literary and educational purposes.

Orwellian times: when the internet is disrupted and social media sites are blocked. And the truth remains hidden.

Frankenstein’s monster: when your own creation goes against you.

1984: when you can’t speak what you want to say. When you can’t move as you want to move. When you can’t watch the truth on TV. And when you can be abducted for anything against the Big Brother.

Big Brother: the one who is watching your timelines and listening to your phone calls and making you a traitor.

Kafkaesque: when nothing makes sense even with Google and the whole world on your palm. When figuring out becomes as complex as this.

Catch-22: though it’s 2023 but the catch is amazing. Every rule is contradictory. You may destroy and kill and get 1000 per abuser. Or you may go to jail for the same. You may kill 444 and roam free while the other may go to jail for a tweet.

Faustian bargain: when a person deals with the ones he names and shames in past to get a seat in the capital. The ex did this bargain. The current did this bargain. The next will do the same.

Herculean: a task that cannot be done. Even with blood and bodies. Like moving the boys to the barracks.

Jekyll and Hyde: when everything is both black and white and you don’t know if you will agree with this same person the next moment or not. You may cherish him now and he may take a u-turn tomorrow. Leaving you with nothing but to denounce yourself.

Utopia & Dystopia: state media is presenting utopia. Some presenting dystopia. And 20 others shifting from one to other in the same bulletin.

Dickensian: here’s the catch-22. It’s neither utopia nor dystopia. It’s dickensian. With a cliche of ‘elite capture’.

Lastly, my favorite;

Fight club: when people come out at will with a happy agenda to burn the buildings and beat each other with consent and contest. The winner is the winner. The loser isn’t the loser because the fights never end. And you cannot talk about this at all.

Ass Always

Boys are of the view that allegations without proofs are not acceptable.

Now who’s going to tell the cat that allegations with proofs are not allegations. They are…

Let’s not tell. Let’s eat at home. In this peace without a piece. Of hyperinflation.

But we can write essays.

For example, a long time ago, Hamood ur Rehman Commission came up with objective findings against allegations. But then, it was preferred by the state to keep the allegations as allegations so that the narrative of allegations without proofs may sustain as unacceptable. The report was snubbed.

We can go on with another essay. When allegations by the parents of the murdered children were dismissed with the escape of Ehsan Ullah Ehsan escaped.

Or we can go on with another essay when court called Rao Anwar to put him on trial based on allegations of 444 murders. But then – again – the court decided to let the allegations sustain.

Right now there is another allegation. The government – PPP and PMLN – is violating the constitution every single day. 90 days have passed. Yet. No shame. Not even among Bhuttos for the Bhutto who allegedly held the constitution in this same parliament.

And the boys – ass always – are on the wrong side.

Allegations. And alligators.

I almost forgot. There’s another allegation. India doesn’t want to come for the Asia Cup. Other countries have agreed with India. But the government says that the tournament should be played in Pakistan as everything is alright. Alright?

No. The government and the boys are of the view that everything isn’t alright and peace is not peaceful and elections can’t be held.

Paradox. Dilemmas. Pandora boxes. Same day, different views on different mics. Such is the mess.

In the turn of the events – nothing new in the turn – you must know the villains of the past are the innocents of today. And innocents of the past are villains of today. Ther is no messiah. Ther is no man. There is no institution. There is no one without allegations.

But who’s going to bell the cat with a little whisper in the ear that allegations with proofs aren’t allegations.

London, Westminster Abbey & Coronation


It’s the city of Orwell’s Animal Farm. Marx’s grave. Dickensian. Shakespeare’s plays. Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein. Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Tolkien’s Hobbit.

It’s also the city of Churchill. Margaret Thatcher. Newton. Florence Nightingale. Alexander Fleming.

It’s also the city of Judi Dench. Daniel-Day Lewis. And some other spectacular people on screen.

It’s also the city of V for Vendetta. When V decided to bomb Westminster Abbey and the Londoners cherished.

It’s also the city that played an integral part in Crusades. World Wars. And everything around bombs and bullets anywhere around the world. Including lies to be bombed in Iraq.

London it is. Living its moment of Ertugrul. Of the past that’s long gone. And lost. Like the Ottomans.

But London kept its royal bloodline. For the sake of a show. This show. And some Netflix stuff. And some mixing of royal sperms in unroyal wombs. To keep themselves in the news. Like today. A mockery.

Thorn. Crown. Glorious. Past. Faith. Mary of Magdalene. Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!