The Other Side…

Since women’s day is over, one must recognize another emerging truth of the society. Gone are the days – old days – when elders used to say:

“بچے چھوڑ کر گھر آجاؤ دو دنوں میں دماغ ٹھیک ہو جائے گا۔”

Scenario has changed. Or is changing pretty rapidly.

In the old days, fathers handled finances and mothers handled homes and kids. (I’m not defending that setting nor criticizing it.) With more needs, expensive education and healthcare, gadgets, competitiveness as well as women empowerment; both the parents entered the job market.

From sole financial custodians, fathers became partners in different settings of sharing at 100:0 to 50:50 to 80:20 or whatever. And motherhood was outsourced. Or you may say, parenthood was outsourced. To grandparents or daycare centers or maids.

The social norms further changed with social media. Fathers, apart from sole / main earners, had to prove inclusive and participatory fatherhood. From bathing kids to changing diapers, chores were shared. Gradually, particular concepts of fatherhood and motherhood intermingled.

مائے نی میں کنوں آکھاں!

Such poetry may not resonate as mother oriented as it did before. Or it may.

Where fathers still are the sole earners and mothers stay at home, the situation is even more intense. These homes are not homes without maids but a mess. Now yes, you may say women are not maids. But then, fathers are not mothers either. At least in this case.

There is division of labor and there should be division of labor.

Today, mothers are fathers. And fathers are mothers too. And in a brutal analogy – again not taking sides – maids are mothers too. Outsourced mothers.

Tyler Durden once said, “We’re a generation of men raised by women.

Times may change the words to, “We’re a generation of men raised by maids.

It’s a little sensitive topic. May hurt some. Or none. Doesn’t matter. A very harsh post – to which I stand – was written on women’s day. I stand with women’s right to life, decision, work, and whatever they may choose for themselves.

Let me add another thing here, since divorce rate is going up, family courts are having more cases than ever before. And in family courts, women have all the chips to play. Men suffer there for months and years for a single glimpse of their child. If you ever want to see men suffering, go to family courts. But yes, not all men are saints there either.

Anyway, back to the topic. Just wanted to say what should have been said. There are heroes on both sides. And villains as well. That doesn’t mean one should be biased enough to bang the one side only. Hence,

اب باپ بچے سنبھال لیتے ہیں۔