Firdaus Aashiq warned that the virus can enter from “neechay se”. She advised to cover your mouth as well as your genitals.
Zartaj Gul defined the 19 points of Corona.
Asad Umar explained that we are at the lowest already. We can’t go any lower. Isn’t this hopeful?
Then came Riaz Fatyana. During the sugar crisis, he went against sugar, not the usual scapegoat of ‘mafia’. Now, he locusted in the National Assembly. ‘Eat Locust. Beat Corona’.
Sheikh Rasheed is selling 24 crore tickets. Haleem Adil is distributing funds among 29 billion people. Qureshi is busy fighting Tareen. Tareen is busy making money. Money is busy dipping. Fawad is busy spilling beans. Vawda is busy being an asshole.
And just when we thought the episode was over, came Prime Minister himself. He challenged the opposition to point out his any contradiction since March. March 2020. Not March 2010. He knows.
For instance, back in the not-sold-days, IK used to bash war on terror and our funded Jihad and collateral damage. He asked for trial of the terrorist Bin Laden. Then, during transactional-mode, he stopped giving opinions. Now, after-sales-service, he is back. With the oldest and strongest narrative. Shaheed.
Bin Laden is shaheed.
All those, who died fighting Bin Laden, were also shaheed.
Those who stood behind Bin Laden, shaheed.
Those who stood against Bin Laden, shaheed.
Kids who were killed in school, shaheed.
People who were bombed, shaheed.
Welcome. To the Windmill of Shaheeds.
We make and sell Shaheeds.
Yardstick of our ideology.
But not all that lost are shaheeds.
Rao Anwar is ghazi.
Ehsan Ullah Ehsan is ghazi.
Ertugrul is ghazi.
I deviated. Now back to Majlis-e-Shora!
Imagine, these folks – all these comedians – are making budget, policies, setting priorities and running the state. ‘Apparently’. We know there is another hierarchy of duffers who is running the state, actually, but yes, there are apologists who believe not them but them and them and democracy.
Where do such out-of-the-box ideas come from? Memes? WhatsApp jokes? Because these ideas are not in newspapers. Or scholarly articles. Or books.
Or maybe, when they can’t sleep in the night – not because of their ugliness but because of making less – they have profound thoughts. They concentrate. And then they get an epiphany.
What are the rationale ones doing? Getting fired probably. Mohammed Hanif. Ammar Ali Jan. Pervez Hoodhboy. Or being humiliated. Like Faez Isa.
This all looks like chaos. Everything falling apart. Right? Wrong.
Everything moving so fast, yet no progress. Like foreign funding case. Or Musharraf’s treason.
PIA, like Suparco, is all going down. With fake licenses of pilots, imagine the future of the airline. Death.
You dissent, you get fired. Literally too.
People go missing. Have you seen supporters of duffers and status quo gone missing? No. Specific ones only. Targeted ones. Only.
Doctors being threatened. From Quetta to Lahore.
Students being punished. Baton charged. Humiliated.
Censorship gagging you. Choking.
Yet, you have to survive. Like an insect. Regardless of all the ugly conditions.
