May 2014 – SakiNama

Walli – Why did the Prophets…?

Like a soul who has a lot of questions and none of the complete answers, I am a meek one. These days the questions which are not letting me sleep are weird. I don’t know why they are coming in my mind and in my nightmares. I don’t qualify for that.

Why Musa A.S. became afraid when Allah transformed his stick into a snake? It was Allah who was talking to him and He said don’t be afraid.

Why Ibrahim A.S. had to fight his Nafs when Allah asked him to sacrifice?

Why the greatest of all the Prophets were confused sometimes when Allah asked them to oblige for some hardest of tasks?

They were Prophets. Talking directly to Allah and getting direct messages. Musa A.S. was the luckiest one to chat with Allah in the relative time. He usually got his replies right at the moment. Not like some other Prophets who had to wait for the divine reply for weeks or months. But then why he questioned Allah’s orders time to time?

In the mainstream human lives, there comes moment when I see people who didn’t confuse themselves before obliging for Allah. I have even read stories of people who didn’t have to fight their Nafs because they were right on track to oblige and sacrifice. But why Prophets… they were too above… so close to Allah…???

I am a human being… graded to the least bit. I am one of those kinds who ask themselves “Who was it” after having a good or bad dream. Was it devil or a jinn? I have a lot of dimensions to think about after every thought that comes in my mind because I am too ordinary to think extraordinary.

But why did the Prophets…? They were talking directly to The Lord.

Alas! I don’t have a Baba Gee to answer my conflicting questions.

Prelude – Walli’s Life of Parallel Worlds

The newspaper said “200 years ago in 1814, a man named Walli was killed while standing against strict tax regulations by the Company.”
Wrong! I saw that incident and it was me who died. But not for standing against the Company. Anyways…
What if I tell you that I am on my deathbed now in 2014?
And what if I tell you that I have to die once more in 2174 while saving someone from The War? That someone is The One for whom I am travelling through all the times of parallel worlds…

Procrastination and Purpose

I wake up early in the morning, wash myself, have a forced breakfast (better than missing it as my doctor said), then a forced driving to reach office (better than being late or absent as my director said)… hence a day starts… a day which some people can only dream of.

On my 9 to 5 job, I spend time doing the least important things. Listening to rubbish supervisors about things we never do. One hour job surrounded within an eight hour day service. Then I question myself why I procrastinate? What else can I do?

I do read articles on internet on avoiding procrastination just to pass time. Liking and sharing procrastination on social media is a trend. It’s a highly-appreciated hypocrisy today.

Evening is the beautiful part of my day. I drive home and enjoy the sunset in the ugly smoke of traffic on busy roads. By the time I reach home, I am too exhausted to do anything… but then start the priorities of relations. Sometimes I do play football on a nearby ground, and sometimes on Xbox. Other times I do have commitments like appointment of my family members with doctors or dentists, visiting relatives, or something… something which requires driving through the road traffics to reach an un-wanted destination.

There is pursuit to reach destination after reaching destination… another of modern-day-internal-chaos.

By the time I reach bed, there is too much smoke in lungs through burning of both nicotine and oil which makes my head heavy. The same exact day is waiting for me which makes me over-excited to sleep well.

Weekend is another part of self struggle. On weekends, I over-enjoy myself by meeting friends, arguing with them on different macro-economic and political topics, life’s shits, cholesterol, lack of exercise, and similar interesting topics. By sleeping late on weekends, I make my Mondays very struggling. The struggle with eyes and head is so hard that I have to share something bad about Mondays on social media to get likes and similar feelings that we all had an awesome weekend.

But where was the “living” part. I don’t get it.

People say you earn “living” by having a good job, bank accounts, savings, good food, happy family, nice car, and house. But I didn’t meet any “living” standards the entire week, month or a year. How can I live with all these commitments around me?

So many commitments and so much procrastination.

Making excuses with friends and family members of hectic routine, while always finding something to pass time… thanks to smartphones and 3G.

Life is highly overrated. If this is the life, then we have to re-think and re-evaluate. Living is totally missing in these living standards. Saving holidays for future which never comes. Avoiding absents to avoid what? Always dreaming of holidays on peaceful mountains but never trying for peace. Always trying to buy expensive materials to impress all expect ourselves, but never trying to buy a cheap peaceful home in north. Why all our priorities are against living and for chaos? Why not internal peace?