Tag: Pakistan

This world is a comedy of tragedies. And errors. Not precisely.

One of the blunders in our history was Liaquat Ali Khan’s visit to America in 1950. In a polarized world, he chose a pole instead of staying in the neutral zone.

And today, we are witnessing another blunder. Our PM is in Russia while Russia is in war mode in Ukraine. Red carpet and stuff like that are achievements for the incompetents in power, without an iota of sense in the message being given. The tour is being telecasted live through mobile phone videos by Gill as if he’s in a wedding function.

Just when Russia is invading Ukraine, there is one PM walking the red-carpet in Russia. Our PM. Our very own idiot. Shameless!

But who cares? When you are an idiot – and high – your blunders are miracles.

Yemen happened and is happening. Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam happened. Who cares? Powerful comes and conquers. Babar did. Salahuddin Ayubi did. Mehmud Ghaznawi did. Sultan Fatih did.

So did America. So did Russia. That’s not even the point. Point is one idiot sitting in the lap of the powerful when that powerful is poking a weak enemy with military might.

One need to be a ‘conscientious objector’ at the right time.

The idiot also offered live debate with India’s Modi some days back. How convenient is that? While gagging media in his own country through PECA, the PM is in the mood to have a live debate. Freedom here. Not there.

And what can Modi make out of this offer? After all, the two idiots will be live. Two blood hounds. Both in some superiority complex because of their religions. Both disregarding women and minorities. Both narcissists. Both dumbs ruling the dump side of the world.

And who will win? Who will decide? And how will we understand their fallacies? Both the countries won the wars they fought with each other. Who will decide the victories in future wars? Ugly ducklings! Ruling hungry, malnourished, stunted, illiterate and fanatic people on both sides of the border.

Heaven! The world is a heaven. If you are an idiot. Or high.

Sometimes His Highness wonders how these people get here? With so little sense and intellect, they achieve the apparent top order. There was Trump. And there are Bolsonaro, Boris, Modi, Imran and many other populists around who are absolutely stupid. They make senseless analogies and are always confident enough to sustain.

Anyway. PECA is here. We can’t talk, but we can. We can make analogies. After all, who is going to look after our words? Bureaucrats? Another dumb lot. Dumb people are dangerous but first, they are dumb. Tough to reach you.

PECA is going to gag things more. It’s not about the idiot PM but the duffer boys. Every now and then, there is a leak and a new General gets exposed. The recent one being General Akhtar Abdur Rahman. He dealt directly in the business of Jihad. Make mujahedeens. Get dollars. In cash. So, his generations – the two Akhtars in different political parties – may have fortune for decades to come. So, you must remain mute under PECA.

After all, what could you do about the island in Australia and Pizzas in America? Nothing. You cannot defeat those who have weapons and the whole narrative of religion under their arms. You mock. You get abducted. Like people get abducted. Here and there. More there.

PECA is draconian. It is needed where regimes are dictatorial and military based. Ours is a military dictatorship; so, it was the need of the hour.

PECA is meticulous. You can criticize but you cannot criticize. You can mock but you cannot mock. You can disagree but you cannot disagree. You can call them randy dogs but you cannot call them randy dogs.

Athar Minallah gave some fine comments on PECA and you should read them. Rest; Arif Alvi is a man of bills. Hundreds and hundreds of bills. And with an impotent opposition like the current one, there is no one to halt.

Anyhow.

Some weeks back, Iqrar ul Hassan was served with his own medicine. Well, he must have done something. “He must have done something; otherwise agencies don’t beat (or abduct or kill) people like that.” What are you getting at? That’s the typical sentence we slap on the face of all the missing and dumped ones. Must have done. Something.

And people die. Everyone dies. Noori died a couple of days back. He had a tombstone on his bed. He harassed someone. Then he evolved. And then he realized he didn’t harass her. Now she will be answerable to Noori’s kids.

Saari raat jaaga, jaga re…
Lagay dil mera, Haraam re…

Anyway.

Just remember, behind beautifully meaningful songs, are harassers sometimes. And you must think, what was she doing with Noori in the car’s backseat. “Must have done something”.

And then Rehman Malik died. Must have done…

The world has always been falling apart. Your world. His Highness’s world. And the world. It has always bled. Power, wars, religious wars and superiority, for some decades of rule, and that’s all. Most of your investments and returns won’t be utilized by you. Perhaps not even by your kids. But the current existence – the present time – matters; as you are comfortable in cozy beds, hot showers, and moving around in luxury vehicles. That really matters. That’s all that matters. Because we are mere consumers.

And after that, death matters. Death, we don’t know of. How? To where? Till when? No one knows. Tariq Jameel says that we will be served with alcohol and women. Sweet alcohol. Beautiful women. So many. Here and there. But for that, you need to follow these men in the business of religion. Nah!

Just like you followed the business of Jihad in the 80s. You let your sons die. And in the end, Generals’ sons enjoy. You have blood and some graves. They have blood-money. But they will die too.

Worry not. Ukraine will fall. And our idiot will be remembered for his walk on the bloody carpet.

You are stupid.

Have you ever realized this? Things around you – society, norms, values and interpretation of the religion – are here to make and keep you stupid. And you hardly ever disappoint.

This government came in power with the promise that the foreigners and expats will come back for jobs. The other day, Fawad Chaudhary was proudly tweeting the number of people who went abroad in the last 3 years. He is expecting more drain (yes, I didn’t use “brain”) in the next couple of years.

He’s happy. Because he’s in power. You are happy. Because you are stupid.

Similarly, while everyone is pious and guarding the religion, which is always in danger, sins are on the rise. Sins are systematic. Systemic. For example, last week two BS-17 employees were suspended by KMC because they asked for Rs.1 lac in bribery from a woman to not demolish her home. When she could only pay Rs.25,000, they made her an offer. Sexual favors in return for her home. They thought they are Godfather and made her an offer she won’t refuse.

Where on earth do you get such flexibilities? You pay in cash. Or you pay in bed. The erectipious (erect and pious) society, ready to kill and be killed in the name of religion, has all the flexibilities to offer.

This level of piety is from the top echelons of government machineries right to the bottom of Gujjar Nullah.

Everything is fine. The machinery is working. It’s constantly being greased.

You were told that the PM-in-making will make a corruption-free state. He comes with a tasbeeh and a team of ex-corrupts who have been fighting for the last 3 years against ex-corrupts and you are cheerful. Because you are stupid.

You were told that the PM is on a drive against corruption. Then the corruption of Generals is revealed in the form of Pizzas and business empires and real estates and Covid-19. The PM rejects the AGP report. His drive against corruption is itself corrupt. Like Chairman NAB. But your views remain intact; just like your stupidity.

You are told that the government is going against all land mafias. Nullah homes and middle-class residences are demolished while the PM’s home is regularized cheaply and Bahria and DHA continue to  stand. Erected. But you are content. Not because you are biased. Not saying that. But because you are plain stupid.

You are told that your religion is the best and it’s the religion of peace but the guardians of the faith kill and you get confused. Is there need of blood? You get confused. Then the PM comes and tells you that liberals are “khooni” and you get your answer without questioning how the liberals are khooni when the blood is on the hands and tongues of the guardians themselves. But you have no further question and no curiosity to search on your own, and hence, you stay stupid.

You are told that there is only one punishment of blasphemy: blood. People are killed. Then, MAYBE a few of you question what the actual punishment is. Then you realize there is no punishment. Because there is no blasphemy. What is blasphemy? Sweet blasphemy? All the big ideas which have shaped the modern world; were blasphemous ones to begin with. The crowd doesn’t matter. The mind does. But, for you, blasphemy matters. Humans don’t. Because, you are blasphemously stupid and you have no other skill than theological interpretation and re-interpretation. An interpretation which is not even your own.

What is interpretation? Sects. Sub-sects. Until there is another religion altogether. Religion into religion into religion. Like dreams of inception. You pick and choose. Then everyone picks and chooses. And then all are against all. Everyone becomes blasphemous to the other. A violent mob is nurtured in this environment and then humans are killed and burned and charcoaled in the name of Islam and in the name of the Prophet.

Sialkot is just one recent episode. You have seen and done mob lynching before. You have shuddered before condemning it. You have been afraid. Deep inside, you fear for yourself and your family. You have no way of knowing who a closet fanatic is. These extremists; these people who kill; these people who lynch without thought, without verification; outwardly, they look like you and me.  

Who knows what your kids are going to be like? Maybe your kids will suffer. Maybe they will be brave enough to voice out their anger and then unfortunate enough to be killed. Dead bodies with broken fingers and broken ribs and broken dreams. But you don’t think that far because you are too stupid and too cowardly to be that farsighted.

Satan was born in the house of Allah.

Musa was born in the house of the Pharaoh.

Expect a mind being born in your home and your stupid-self shouldering his/her dead body. This is where we are going.

You think merging in the crowd will guarantee your safety. You think stupidity and denial is the only solution to a long and peaceful personal life. You think chanting the slogans of the crowd will keep your life afloat. You think the stink won’t stink if you yourself live in trash. What rubbish!

As Fahd Husain wrote “Then, just like that, it’s over. And done. And dus­t­­ed. Because, you see, no one is really responsible. Or everyone is. And when everyone is, no one really is.” Hallelujah!

This is the last century of religion to be honest. Humanity has survived long before there was any religion and it is going to survive that way with advancements in science, medicine and technology. The questions which once needed some explanations to satisfy one’s self are evaporating. We know the reasons behind lunar eclipse, earthquakes, tsunamis, deaths, famine, etc. We know more than our ancestors in these areas at least. They relied on myths and religion to have answers; we don’t need to.

Religion and faith should be a personal matter. But, hate mongering and division in the name of religion and killing in the name of religion needs to be stopped on a national level. The Government needs to take responsibility to curb religious extremism and for a tolerant and diverse counter-narrative to emerge. And individuals need to take responsibility to search for answers; to question; to stop blindly following.

Basically, you need to stop being stupid.

His Highness knows the counter-arguments. It is a long debate and it has certain merits and demerits. But my thesis is… hush! No! Your mind is too fragile to read that.

So, another time. Maybe.

His Highness, is after all, Zarathustra.