Random Numbness (Sep 2022)

Don’t feel like bleeding. Yet, you feel like sniffing blood.

First, it is about the mood. Or feelings. Or pain. Or empathy. Or sympathy. Or something else; beyond description which you need to get rid of; when you feel like penning it all down. Not on all topics. It is not journalism here but random numbness of things that matter and things that don’t. Just random. Like birth, life, death and everything around us including us.

Let’s start with women.

Ladies first. First in murder, misery, rape, molestation and injustice. Sara Inam was easily murdered. Because Noor Mukadam was easily murdered. Sara Inam suffered because Zahir Jaffar didn’t suffer. Zahir Jaffar lived and so shall Shahnawaz Amir. The whole system is connected. From the birth of a woman to her brutal death.

It’s not just here. Iran has similar rubbish, but the death of one woman shook the country. Unlike us, they drove to roads and danced under naked stars to make a point. The point is freedom. Freedom for women. To choose and not to choose. To not choose and to choose.  

Now come to the Transgender Bill. Well, if you would have spoken on your Electricity Bill for justice, your lives would have been a little better. But no. You thought the bill is anti-religion, and you came out to defend it. I get that religion is weak, and it needs guards all the time. But who will guard the violent guards?

The bill is fine. It does not change your gender from male to female or vice versa. It gives you a new gender ‘X’. And no, you cannot marry a person of same gender through this bill. This bill is not a way to homosexuality. Do you even need a bill or a law to engage in homosexuality? Do you think the madrassahs hide behind any bill for homosexuality and child abuse? Are you really that stupid? That’s a rhetorical question.

The hub of homosexuality are madrassahs. Abolish this first, and then come back to me – with respect – and we shall have a talk about transgenders in detail. We shall become X-Men.   

On to bullet proof vehicles for boys. Well, you just get to know these things now. The parallel system always worked this way. Elite vehicles without taxes always come through Balochistan to serve in the military. For the military. There is a complete parallel world that lives in this country… with or without notifications.

With all these bullet proof elite vehicles and DHAs and everything else, the main mission of the military went wrong. Rogue. They made IK. Just like Nawaz and others. They branded him with populism and religion. They made him big, but the dummy was equally idiotic to fall. Like the other dummies. But now, the mission has gone rogue. The dummy has adopted the sad strategy so well that the makers are in hiding. And shame.

Apart from everything, you must give credit to IK for taking the bull by the horns. Though he is trying to get the bull by the heart again and again, but still.

By the way, there was nothing wrong with IK in GCU. If Bajwa in LUMS was fine, so was this. The debate can be that IK should have gone for an interactive session instead of a ‘jalsa’ – with better words to utter, otherwise it was fine.

On the other side of Punjab and Pindi is a city called Islamabad. The capital. Not the capital. A city of other idiots who don’t even matter a lot of the times. Yet they are trying to call the shots. Desperately beaten by friends and foes and economy. Exported Miftah to import Dar – who is one of the reasons that Pakistan is in the cradle of IMF. Again. Long debate.

Audio leaks are amusing. Nothing surprising. We all know these planted pawns are there for vested interests. First, SS got exposed for family business and then IK’s narrative of foreign conspiracy went down the drain.

Who is leaking the audios? It’s a rhetorical question. Obviously, the one who never got leaked is the leaker. This is how good our leakers are. They may not know other things, but they do know who is whispering what to whom in which manner to keep the boys high.

Apart from the play on stage and behind the curtains, your contribution is nothing more than a viewer who is watching the shit show with the hope of a happy ending. Well, there’s no happy ending. Not here in the theater at least. Maybe at the parlor around the corner! Anyway, that is a secured area. Guarded. You cannot Pass Go. You can only Go to Jail.

We are back to square one. It is here. Let’s start with women again. Ladies first…

Animal Farm of Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy is idiotically funny. Whoever comes on top, must be accepted. The shit that comes down from anus of the boss, must be taken in hands by the juniors. With respect. That’s why the whole recruitment system is based on finding ‘yes boss’.

That is another reason that every secretariat is hustling and bustling in office hours. Even in off hours. All departments are running around madly with briefs, presentations, and meetings. Yet, there is hardly a thing that moves.

For instance, hundreds of meetings and briefs have been conducted to provide relief to flood victims. Yet, nothing. Millions have already been wasted on meetings and stuff without any relief for the victims. This is the beauty of bureaucracy. It keeps on moving yet nothing moves. Not even an eyebrow on all the wasted papers and funds.

Come to Punjab.

Muhammad Khan Bhatti is currently the Principal Secretary to the Chief Minister. He’s not a bureaucrat but the whole bureaucracy of Punjab is reporting to him. He rose from Grade-7 to Grade-22 just because of his loyalty to Elahi family. Now imagine the beauty of Mehmood-o-Ayaz kind of system. The ugly sharks like Chief Secretary, Chairman P&D, Secretary Finance, SMBR, and other giants of administrative departments are all reporting to a clerk. A business clerk. The clerk can even keep them waiting on one leg – the leg – whenever he wishes to.

Apart from beauty of bureaucracy, this is beauty of being an idiot too. A suited booted idiot who moves with the world moving around.

So, it’s all about hierarchy. Hierarchy of bastards. Whoever comes on top, must be respected. It is not about work to be done but work not to be done. It’s not the only idiot on top. The stream follows all the way down to the point where bureaucracy ends. And this whole system is Orwellian. Like Animal Farm. Where pigs are on top and known as the bastards.

Solution: Dissolve. Dissolve the bureaucracy. Employees should get promotions gradually to reach on top. Just like in private organizations where employees rise with years of experience and field knowledge. Imagine a bureaucrat being posted as CEO of Google or NASA or Tesla. No don’t imagine. Let imaginations be clean.

Online Morality and Immorality

The online world is unsafe for both genders EQUALLY. Anyone can be a victim.

The problem is our obsession with seeing others doing things which are natural and biological.

We all do the same things. As we all are the same. With the same needs and systems. Just because you are safe by now doesn’t mean you have moral authority over victims.

Involuntarily, people have been taped in washrooms, try rooms, cinemas, hotels and everywhere. Married couples have been taped by hidden cameras. Because cameras are everywhere.

Only if we stop talking about leaked stuff and stop sharing it, this will change. If society will stop labeling someone because of a leaked video or picture – made voluntarily or involuntarily – the related risk and trauma will diminish gradually.

On a sidenote: Every single share is a downgraded version of your moral self. And every single share is kind of “gunah-e-jariya”. You’ve seen, fine. Why is there this need to share?

Now coming to the moral brigade who thinks naming and shaming would make them pious. Well, that won’t. Those who are caught doing anything – including cheating – were just unlucky.

Reminds me of what Adam Sandler once said in a movie: “It’s easy to be a judgmental prick when nobody wants to fuck you.”


That is it. First we are curious to find such scandals, videos, and pictures. Then we enjoy them. Then we share and talk about them. And after that we give lectures about morality, religion and how bad society has become.

Society has always been like that. Read Manto. Or Ismat. Or pretty much anyone who has penned down human behavior. The only difference is that now we have social media and cameras in our pockets all the time, with memory disks, to record stuff and make lives around us miserable.

Society is as ‘immoral’ as it was before. For me, this isn’t even immorality. Immorality is violence, rape, child abuse, domestic abuse, and related stuff. If madressashs don’t make you angry for unsafe children, then it’s better to shut up now because these male dominated schools are the foundation of sexual molestation in Pakistan which then spreads all over the country.

P.S. these scandals and your siding with morality doesn’t make feminism weak. Even Amber Heard couldn’t damage it. Feminism stands till there are Mohsin Abbas Haiders and Feroz Khans on prime time TV screens, playing exactly the same roles.

Russia’s War

Russia attacked Ukraine in Feb 2022. It’s September 2022. Ukraine is yet to be conquered. Or defeated. How embarrassing is that for the not-so-red army?

Let me rephrase.

Russia has the biggest arsenal of A-Bombs. It spends around $70 billion annually on its military with active personnel of over 1 million and over 2 million in reserve. This country has its own R&D in weapons and is a provider of tanks, jets and weapons to the world.

In comparison to that, Ukraine has an annual military budget of less than $5 billion with zero A-Bombs. It has less than 0.2 million active personnel and less than 1 million in reserve. And it doesn’t export war weapons or equipment at a massive scale.

Right now, Russia is considering the import of weapons from North Korea. Yes, it is embarrassing.

Just recently, the Ukrainian army was able to re-capture lands from the Russian army. The tussle between one of the biggest vs one of the smallest is not ending any time soon.

Now visualize how stupid you are.

There is another country that has weapons of mass destructions. A-Bombs. Arsenals. Depots. Long-range and short-range missiles. One of the biggest armies. One of the finest air forces. Navy. Everything. Yet the country remains an insecure state – internally and externally.

Two choppers can penetrate around 200-km and operate, kill and go back out of a military city, yet no one bothers. The largest province can fall under the fate of collateral damage, yet nothing shakes. Dig the earth and out come missing bodies. Or you may land on a landmine and the ashes of your body may spread in the air with the wind blowing from east to west…  because humans are insecure.

This insecure state goes into talks with their bloody foes every once in a while, to be in conflict again, again and again, so that people won’t be able to forget 144 or 444, and the holy war of blood continues forever. And ever. This goes on and on because you are myopic with the least idea of history of mankind. Of any kind.

When flood comes, we have nothing to offer. We let the bodies float. Their homes. Their crops. And their whole existence and decades to come. We beg the world for help. Because we have utilized all our funds already on least important priorities. The Finance Miftah has already taken the last bite from not-yet-drowned struggling lives. For him too, priorities are based on taxing those who are barely surviving.  

The world order has changed. It is not about territorial gains anymore. It is about capitalism, MNCs, wealth, technology, education and smartness. America left Afghanistan because it was expensive to sit on a land which has absolutely nothing to offer to humankind. Idiots think that America lost in Afghanistan. Well, the loser has an American Dream that every fragile ego wants to dream while the winner has yet to see a railway track or a proper school. Twisted idiots.

Ukraine is an example that reveals how brainwashed you are. You already have enough to defend against a giant army. You already have enough to defend against anyone. Your insecurity and all the internal follies and the games with blood are all related to certain duffers on the top who are addicted to vampirism. Even in the worst of economic times, the deep state made sure that their funds won’t suffer. Let the whole country suffer. When the whole country suffers, the whole country shall look for boys. Then boys shall come. In choppers. Throwing food. Man-o-salwa. Play this on repeat.

See how stupid you are?

You need unbureaucratic institutions. A human version of police. Non-political military in barracks with scrutiny. Highly funded R&D. Science based schools, colleges, and universities. Liberal arts. Acceptance. Rationality. And a little minding of your own fuckin’ business without poking your circumcised brain in every other belief system.

Restarting Swat

Swat was not undone. Nothing was undone. Ever. It was kept on snooze. For a better time to come. And it has come. Came. Come. Time.

What did you expect when TTP was called for talks? Beat them. Ceasefire. Talk. Disagreements. Get beaten. Beat them. Ceasefire. Continue the drill soldier! In the name of budget and power forever.

Anyway, the state has been a security state since the beginning. It was for people – to be kidnapped. By the people – to kidnap. So that the state may perish perpetually with collateral damage – you – to fall necessarily when needed.

The idea of a security state was established right at the beginning. Because there was nothing else to begin with. The idea to secure religion. The idea to secure nationalism. The idea to secure patriotism. The idea to secure those who were supposed to secure you.

And the idea to keep you unsecure. And your blood. And your generations to come and fall in line so that those in the line of duty may stay safe. So that market needs never die. Supply and demand may remain intact.

Defense for the defense. Guards guarding the guards who were supposed to guard. Barracks. Check posts. And even then, bomb blasts and kidnappings.

So, Swat was done. Undone. Illusion. The biggest mastermind with blood of 144 escaped right from the guarded guards. The one with 444 murders still roams free. But make a speech of truth and you may go to prison for 2 years. Or more. Or not. With no escape plan or prison break series.

Extension is around the corner. It is in talks already. For the betterment of Swat. And the country. And neighboring countries. And the Ummah. And the whole world. This works even without extension. Because you are in a line to fall with no sense of humor about the whole joke.

This is so vague. This blood. Bombs. Hate. Vague.


Her majesty is gone.
Took too long.
His Majesty has taken the throne.
And you have His Highness all along.

Everything rhymes these days. Cool.

By the way, the actual hero who died in recent days was Mikhail Gorbachev of Russia who ruled from 1985 to 1991. He stopped the red bloodshed and made smooth transition to peace after fall of Soviet Union. He was way ahead of his time and was not blamed for corruption even by his enemies.

Even the strongests die. Doesn’t matter. Everyone dies. What matters is how you lived and loved. Here, in this part of the world, we die randomly. Random incidents and accidents. Flood has taken a whole generation to decades back where people have to start struggling and living their lives from point zero.

Maybe, someday, we will start valuing LIFE here, which is as vulnerable as a dream but as impactful as a bad nightmare.

Tharki Fellows (on Facebook)

Dear Tharki Fellow Nationals!

If a woman comments, she wants you to send her a friend request. If she doesn’t accept, DM her. Try your best and grab the attention.

This is a substitute platform for Tinder. And Bumble. Women comment here for your attention. Give it to them without swiping right or left.

Every single comment is a hint. Every single reaction on your comment by a woman is a clear message. Conquer your fears and embrace the awaited journey.

Women have thanked me. I’m thanking you. Please continue. Next time, Tharki of the Month will be published so the remaining ones may get higher motivation.

One has received 35 friend requests just because she commented today. She’s so happy. She never got that much love in her life. She has promised to comment regularly in future.

Thank you.

The New

GEO is the new ARY.
ARY is the old GEO.

IK has N’s old narrative.
N has IK’s new curse.

Inflation had classic reasoning before.
Hyperinflation has modern logics now.

Everything was upside down.
Everything is downside up.

There’s no change except of faces.
There’s no exchange except of feces.

Only two remained unhindered and intact:
November boys,
And His Highness.