Hello from His Highness

There are always disagreements on religion, politics, culture and every other thing. That’s fine. Agree to disagree. But there are things which are oddly amusing. 

Some of the comments on the posts are, “are you seeing the hidden agenda?” Another one is, “do you know who is behind this page?” Some comment with the knowledge of the unknown like, “he is sitting abroad”. Sometimes, the vagueness is like, “this page is being foreign funded”. “Thank you, I am unfollowing your page”. And my personal favorite, “this writer has some serious mental issues”. 

First of all, you’re welcome. The pleasure is all mine. 

No, I don’t have an agenda. At least not hidden. If I did have one, I would have opted to write in Urdu to reach the masses. I don’t. I don’t want to and I don’t intend to. 

No one is paying me. There is no AdSense (or whatever those clicks-based-stuffs are) on my website. It’s a simple website with my words on it (not all of which are posted on the Facebook page). There is no funding and I don’t desire any. I want to write as freely as you are free to unfollow this page. 

No, I am not sitting abroad. I however, quite enjoy this idea of people guessing my locality, stupidly. Although, why is there a problem if someone is sitting abroad? People go abroad. It’s normal. Some for education, some for work, some for safety, some to party, and some to run away from their local responsibilities. People have reasons.  

Anyway. I am not abroad. Not my taste. Was there once – for education – but am back. 

I know the taste of being a second-class citizen abroad. Being a Muslim and that too from Pakistan is a thing not liked by the West. In buses. In trams. At airports. In stares. In looks. In avoidance. So, it isn’t my way to live like that in a land where I cannot have cheap cigarettes with the freedom to throw buds at will. 

You don’t know the pleasure of throwing the bud out in the air like Tyler Durden; while smoke is still in your lungs – heaven inside. If you do know it, you are as free as His Highness. 

Nevertheless, I can relate to how people here feel when they are treated as second-class citizens; based on religion, caste, creed, and ethnicity. We don’t like Africans and Chinese here. We don’t treat Christians, Hindus and any of the non-Muslims at par with us. Even our government hiring is ugly when the post of janitor is specifically mentioned with a particular religion. 


Then there are those who think I have some mental issues and some personal problems with Pakistan and Islam. Well, I may have mental issues. Never got checked. Maybe someday. You and me. Me and you. Unhappy together with a shrink. 

Having personal problems with Pakistan and Islam is somewhat a true allegation. I am a Muslim and I am a Pakistani. So, yes I am personal about Islam and about Pakistan. And I have problems with wrong interpretation of the religion and the doctored history of Pakistan. So, yes. There are problems and they are personal. 

And the person behind this page! 

Lo and behold! His Highness. The one and only. And not yours truly.   

This page is just a page, without any will in particular. Maybe to inform. Maybe to share knowledge. Some literature. Some personal views. And some personally owned and created stories. Nothing more.

Imagine! If this page is deactivated, what will exist? Maybe some ideas, some information, some knowledge. Not a person or a brand. That’s the ultimate dream. That’s a V for Vendetta kinda thing without Natalie Portman.

Give Tyler Durden a Guy Fawkes mask and that will be His Highness. Please, be seated. 

I do receive lovely and beautiful messages. Thank you. I try my best to reply to every single message I receive / read; even when people abuse and accuse.  

I know there are people who disagree and don’t like my views. It’s completely fine. Even when you disagree harshly. That is one of the purposes of life: to co-exist with all the disagreements. Agree to disagree. 

But those amazing ones – mentioned earlier in the post – are the ones who give His Highness a chance to enjoy some good smirks. You are an asset. A national liability though, but an asset for me. I learn from you; to not become you. 

Before leaving: there are actually people who challenge the things I have learned. So, I unlearn, unfreeze, and re-learn. People come up with strong counter-arguments and sometimes with strong objective information. So, yes. You people help me as much. 

Thank you for all the guesses and the love and the hate and the accusations and the appreciation and everything. 

Stop rolling your eyes. No one finds a brain that way. 

Palestine 2021 – A Perspective from Pakistan


An agricultural country which has recently accepted Zakat and Fitrana of rice from the Arabian Desert; is asking the Ummah to stand up and fight for the Palestinians.

Well, standing up is right. One should always condemn the wrongdoings – at least verbally – if nothing else can be done. Every one of us should call out Israel for its atrocities, terrorism, colonialism, and violence. But for us, Pakistanis; without any comparison to other nation states; we have to answer some personal questions while we stand for the Palestinians.

This is going to be a long one [3 chapters] as I was doing a lot of reading on this topic and was trying to figure out where we stand and where our flaws are. So, let’s start:


In the not too distant past, the region was mainly known as Jerusalem, which is the capital city of Israel today. This land had civilization for thousands of years before Christ.

Alexander attacked it. Romans had numerous conquests. Constantine conquered it. Before Islam, Jews and Christians ruled this land and had various wars and conflicts.

Caliph Umar RA conquered Palestine in 637 AD – 5 years after the demise of the Holy Prophet Muhammad PBUH. Some great Muslim sahabas were part of this conquest including Abu Ubaidah Ibn-e-Jarrah, Khalid bin Waleed, Amr bin al-Aas among others.

According to one narration, Caliph Umar RA declined to offer Namaz in a church after the siege, to set an example of the righteous path, so that later Muslims would not find excuses for converting churches into mosques. [Some nurses did the opposite in a church of Lahore. Lesson forgotten.]

In 661 AD, Palestine fell under the Umayyad Caliphate. The Abbasids in 750 AD. The Fatimid in 970.

And the Crusaders in 1099.

Kingdom of Jerusalem – Palestine – was conquered by Crusaders in 1100.

In 1187, Saladin defeated crusaders and established control in the region.

The Third Crusade started in 1189 under Richard who recaptured major parts of the region by 1192 and had a truce with Saladin on Jerusalem. Saladin died in 1193.

In a long bloody history of the crusades, Jerusalem fell under different hands. Crusades ended in 1291 and Mamluk period started which lasted till the Ottomans came and conquered Palestine in 1517.

By the end of the 18th century, Napoleon conquered Palestine after a series of attacks.

By the 19th century, Jews from different parts of Europe started to settle in Palestine. That was the time when Ottomans were again in power in the region. Jews – at that time – were working to make their permanent settlements in Palestine, Syria and Egypt.

On April 11th, 1909, Tel Aviv was founded in Jaffa.

Ottomans were defeated in World War I (1914-1918). While there was Khilafat Movement in the Sub Continent, the caliphate was abolished by Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. He was hated by the Muslims of Sub Continent and was also hailed as a visionary by some. Jinnah was his great admirer as he knew Ataturk is laying the foundation of a secular state.

Balfour Declaration was issued in 1917 by the British government. According to this declaration, the British announced establishment of an independent Jewish state in Palestine. Authors of Balfour Declaration were Walter Rothschild, Arthur Balfour, Leo Amery, and Lord Milner.

Remember, Palestine was part of the Ottoman Empire in 1917. The war in Palestine between Ottomans and British was in full force till the end of WWI. Palestine remained part of Britain from 1922 till 1947-48.

After WWI, the settlement of Jews in Palestine remained intact. The Great Arab Revolt (1936-1939) was an uprising against this settlement. However, it failed and the British were able to suppress the revolt.

On November 29, 1947; a formal resolution (Resolution 181) was adopted by UN General Assembly for formation of Israel by dividing Palestine between Arabs and Jews. The resolution was passed with 33 votes in favor, 13 against, and 10 abstentions.

On May 14, 1948, Israel declared independence. Hence, the State of Israel was formed. A long forgotten dream of Jews came true on the blood and soil of Palestinians.

Right after Israel’s declaration of independence, Arab-Israeli War began when Arabian countries – including Saudia, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and Yemen – attacked Israel. It was aimed to liberate Palestinians but it was a strategic failure. The Arabs were defeated. The State of Israel sustained. In fact, they occupied more land after the war. In the end, Palestinians suffered more from this war.

In 1967, Six-Day War was fought between Arabs and Israel when Egypt, Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon attacked Israel to liberate Palestinians. This war – like the previous one – resulted in failure too. Israel expanded further. Palestinians suffered more. And the Arabs were crushed again.

Arabs did try in subsequent decades but they had no long-lasting success. In 1973, Syria and Egypt attacked Israel and captured Sinai back from Israel.


Israel was proposed and established on a partition plan which was adopted by UN General Assembly (Resolution 181). UN proposed the plan and after all the undue processes, Palestine was divided as:

  • Gaza (or Gaza Strip) and West Bank for Palestinians
  • Rest was for Israel.
  • Jerusalem was declared as separate entity. Corpus Separatum.

However, today’s Israel is much bigger than the partition plan mentioned above. Today, Palestine is nothing but a scattered state with refugees and unsettled aboriginals. Due to the failed Arab attempts (mentioned above) and support of Western power to Israel, today’s map of the region is completely different from the actual partition plan.

There are numerous major settlements of Zionists in West Bank. Both Gaza and West Bank are nothing more than prison states. All routes (air, roads, water) are under control of Israel. Permits are required to travel within and around. Permits are even required to enter Al-Aqsa to worship.


The current situation occurred when forced settlers were entered in Sheikh Jarrah and Muslims were stopped from praying in Al-Aqsa. But that is not the entire reason.

There were times when Christians conquered and ruled Jerusalem. There were times when Jews did. There were times when Muslims did.

Israel was forced into Palestine by the UK and Western powers on the eve of World War I when the Ottomans lost. It was settled illegally, though with a formal UN resolution. Gradually, with the use of force and terror activities, Israel took hold of all of Palestine except Gaza and West Bank. Palestinians are now prisoners in their own homes because of the power and terrorism of Israel.

Palestine or Jerusalem is home to all the Abrahamic religions. This part of the world remained at war and in conflicts throughout history and it will remain so in the foreseeable future. It is destined to suffer as it is a sacred land for three major religions of the world.

The solution to Palestinian problems is none at the moment. All these years, with monopoly in suffering, Palestinians were unable to do anything substantial. Resistance should continue, but the Arabs actually did more than their actual power to liberate Palestinians. They did it thrice by initiating wars. Even today, various countries, particularly Iran with her bold stance, has stood against Israel’s hegemony.

When Israel was not even properly established, the Palestinians were clueless. From 1922 to 1947 was the time when it should have taken through strong resistance by the locals under a leadership. No one is going to give them freedom on a plate. No one can, at the moment.

Just a while back, Arab countries were gradually formalizing their relations with Israel. In 2020, Bahrain, UAE, Sudan and Morocco established diplomatic relations with Israel. Many countries, including Saudia, have covert relations with the Zionists.

A recently exposed investigative piece by Al-Jazeera exposed Bangladesh’s military relations with Israel. Pakistan too had its secretive relations with Israel during Zia’s regime, mentioned clearly by Charlie Wilson.

You may dislike this, but Iran is the only country from the Muslim world which has stood boldly against Israel consistently. It didn’t bow down to the US and always gave Israel some nightmares.

Cuba, North Korea, and Venezuela are the three other countries which vehemently oppose Israel. These three countries have no diplomatic / formal relations with the Zionists.

Around 31 countries in the world have no relations with Israel. However, out of these, many do have covert relations.

But nothing is solving the ugliest human rights crisis. The UN is numb. So as many other organizations. Those who were calling for ‘Freedom of Speech’ are also dead somewhere around Charlie Hebdo. Al-Jazeera stood tall and let us hope it will stay strong among the impotent press of the world.

Hypocrisies are being exposed with the rising death toll in the largest concentration camp of the world.

A thing to understand: the difference between Zionist and Jewish. Zionist is a person who is in favor and pursuit of an independent Jewish state with whatever means necessary. Be it violence or terrorism. The blood of all the dead Palestinians is on the hands of Zionists. You cannot blame this on all the Jews. There are Jews who are against this terrorism and have been very vocal. You will see Jews standing against Israel. I can give you one example of Abraham Gutman – a journalist – who vehemently opposes all the violence by Israel. And he is hated and abused for his righteousness by the Zionists.

Before ending this part, let me write correctly that:

  • All those praising Hitler and atrocities of Germans against the Jews during WW-II are despicable.
  • Israeli Zionists are as despicable as the Nazis once were.
  • All the liberals – anywhere around the world – supporting Israel’s violence against Palestinians, are not liberals but scumbags.


Pakistan and Israel. Two countries of the world founded in the name of religion. Two countries of 1947 origin. Came out of the British Empire. The two have so many things in common but let’s not go into that for the time being.

Pakistanis are on social media since this new wave of violence by Israel against Palestinians. Calling the Ummah to stand. Abusing the rulers for not doing anything. Abusing the west. Abusing the east.

Well, the Ummah did stand. And fought. And lost. In 1948. In 1967. In 1973 (Yom-e-Kippur). They were not only defeated but crushed within 06 days. It was Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Lebanon, and other Muslim countries, including Pakistan, who aided against Israel.

But again you cry that the Ummah is doing nothing.

The Ummah can’t do anything.

The Ummah has nothing. Not even Ummah itself.

Before you jump into the Caliphate, wait!

Islam didn’t present a political system comprehensively. It just presented ideas of democracy and secularism – yes democracy and secularism – and nothing much besides that. It gave principles but not a complete system in itself. The Muslims were supposed to use their brain to move ahead.

The Caliphate was not an Islamic system. It was based on nepotism. Family dynasties flourished. The bloodshed under Caliphates – particularly of Muslims by Muslims – is beyond comprehension.

Karbala is one of the examples of how corrupt and corruptible – like all other systems – was the system then. It didn’t even leave the House of Prophet Muhammad PBUH.

So, don’t Caliphate here. And don’t Ummah here. One is outdated and the other doesn’t even exist.

There was a dialogue in a Lebanese movie “The Insult” that no one has a monopoly on suffering. That was what the Lebanese said in a court to the Palestinian. No one – neither Jews of WW-II nor Palestinian since 1947 – have monopoly on suffering.

But we – Pakistanis – do have a monopoly on hypocrisy.

We don’t talk about hundreds of thousands of people killed in Yemen because Saudia killed them and we get our pimping dollars from them. We managed the army for Saudia to kill kids in Yemen. And we just got rice from Saudia. So, we don’t talk.

By the way, just to write the figures:

  • 30 were killed in a bomb blast in a guest house in Puli Alam, Afghanistan on April 30th, 2021.
  • 85 were killed – mostly school girls – in a bomb blast in school in Kabul, Afghanistan on May 8th, 2021.
  • 12 were killed in an explosion in a mosque during Friday prayers in Kabul on May 14th, 2021.
  • Though the violence has decreased in Yemen, yet the basics are denied. Tens of thousands of people will starve to death this year in Yemen.


We don’t talk about men, women and kids being killed in Afghanistan. Because we have our own political philosophies. Of good men and bad men. Of snakes. We don’t talk.

We don’t talk about education camps for Muslims in China. Hundreds of education camps with thousands of Muslims being ‘educated’. We don’t talk about them because we don’t know about anything that happens in Uighur. Or Mainland China.

We talk about Kashmir. That’s business. That’s our philosophy of life. It gives direction to our budget and priorities. It makes us a security state.

And we talk about Palestine.

After the Ummah’s failure within 6 days, we want the UN to do something. Why would the UN do something? What interest does the UN have in you? None. You have nothing to offer. No research. No budget. No scientists. Funding to the UN by the entire Ummah doesn’t even count to pennies in comparison. But yes, we want the UN to do something for us because we failed and our OIC is impotent.

As said earlier, Ummah doesn’t exist. In fact, it never existed on the political platform of the world. Ummah means brotherhood. It’s like alumni of the same university – i.e. Muslims following the same Book and the Prophet PBUH. It’s an affiliation. It is not what is portrayed here in Pakistan.

Ummah: Saudia is killing Yemen, Talibans are killing Afghans, ISIS is spilling blood in Syria, Uighur is never spoken of, Iran and Saudia play proxy wars in Iraq and Syria, Kurds are fighting for their rights from Turkey, Turkey has its own political preference against Saudia, Pakistan has its hand in Yemen and Afghanistan. Muslims against Muslims. Is this Ummah? This is Ummah.

  • This Ummah cannot come together on deciding a unified Eid day.
  • This Ummah cannot offer Namaz the same way. They don’t even know the exact way the Prophet PBUH offered Namaz. This is the practice the Prophet PBUH maintained 5 times a day for decades yet we don’t know.
  • This Ummah has its own sets of kafirs and momins. A kafir here can be a momin there and vice versa.
  • And this Ummah has its relations with Israel. Some despise it and some make a trade out of it.

You can praise Mia Khalifah and Bella Hadid; and curse Malala (neither a fan nor a hater). As you are misguided about history, your love and hatred is also misguided. Doesn’t matter. Why Malala said it that way is not going to solve issues. She is not your PM. Or anyone’s PM. She is not COAS. She does not hold any political office. Yet, you blame her for her tweets. It’s only your hatred. And that’s ok; you hate her. Fine. But this is not the way towards any resolution.


There were people who fought even when they couldn’t achieve their target. Imam Hussain. Che Guevara. Bhagat Singh. Nelson Mandela. Maximillian Robespierre. Malcolm X. Jinnah. And many others.

They all were different on different stages against different fascists but they didn’t wait for others. They didn’t beg. They planned. They stood. And they fought. With whatever means necessary. With or without a victory.

The solution is long-term. And it is evolutionary.

First, make yourself better. Grow economically. Enhance educational standards. Improve your healthcare system. Research more. Nurture scientists, philosophers, ideologists, thinkers, and rationalists. Follow religion but excel in it with Ijtihad. End these dogmas and orthodox ideas. Get your funding priorities straight. Get out of all the wars of the world and focus on yourself until you are someone with influence.

Get out of ghosts. Get out of graves. Get out of tombs. Get out of these people who sell and make a living out of religion.

Read. Think. Unlearn. Re-learn. Evolve.

Revolution and wars are not your way. Evolution is your way. It took 23 years for the religion to be bestowed upon you; evolution. The Holy Book was completed in over two decades; evolution. Evolve. Learn. Grow. Become someone so that you don’t have to beg others to stand for your causes. Become someone to become an impactful voice.

End this hypocrisy. Empathize above religion and ethnicities. I feel for Palestinians not because they are Muslims but because they are humans. Like there are humans suffering in Burma, China, Kashmir, Yemen, Egypt, Africa, India, Syria, Iraq, and Pakistan.

We just got rice from Saudia. An agricultural country getting donations of rice from a desert peninsula. Shame! We are succumbing to new downfalls every year. We are falling, yet we want the world to behave according to our wishes.

Caliph Umar RA declined to offer Namaz in a church in Palestine. Remember that? And what were the nurses doing in a church in Lahore? Wasn’t that blasphemy? Or do we have monopoly on blasphemy too?

Voice must be raised. No doubt. But it must be raised without hypocrisy. And one must remain realistic too.

And before asking our neighbors and the world to mend their ways, we need to mend our ways. A kid of a missing father lost his mother recently. Did we offer him his father back? Did we give him justice? No.

There are people suffering in our country. Are we offering them justice? Did we offer justice to the brutally killed family in the Sahiwal massacre? Did we give justice to the families who suffered by the bullets of Raymond Davis? Did we give justice to the parents of the APS incident? Did we give justice to the 444 murders of Rao Anwar? Everyday kids are raped and killed here. Everyday people are dumped here. People go missing here on a routine basis. People are dying of hunger. There are severe discriminations in different parts of this country. There are grave human rights violations in our own home.

We need to get our house in order before we point fingers at the rest of the world.

Till then, your hypocrisy is at your disposal. The choice is yours: to become someone. Or to remain nothing.


400 Israelis dead. Says Guardian.

500. Says BBC.

Maybe 800 would be the number of Fox.

How hardly these numbers are hitting the consciousness of humanity? Such numbers or dead bodies never mattered on the other side.

Planes could bomb the hell out of the Gaza Strip and it never mattered. Day in and day out missile strikes won’t raise an eyebrow. But now, the retaliation for the sake of freedom and justice is hurting.

This mess in the complete land of Palestine is an American mess. Just like the mess in Ukraine is also an American mess. You cannot become an innocent kitty after provoking violence and strategic war moves in foreign lands for years just to be “shocked” by the “militants”.

Iraq perished. Afghanistan perished. Libya, Yemen, Syria suffered. In land. In seas. In drowning boats with mothers and kids. Never mattered. A little mourning for a day and then preparations all the way for another calculated massacre.
Palestinians aren’t militants. They are freedom fighters. Less in power. Less in ammunition. But nevertheless.

In times like these, in this division, you must stand with the one who is standing for the right cause. The one who is powerless. Homeless in its own home. Yet trying to stand against tanks with a gun. Against the mighty powers.

May Palestinians find their way to peace and freedom. With whatever means necessary. The two-state system could work without discrimination and violence. If not, then may it be the Palestinians’ way. Amen! 

Crocodile Tears

Crocodile tears. That’s what you all are shedding for Palestinians. You hypocrites.

Your Prime Minister goes – every now and then – to embrace the butchers of Yemen in Saudia. With military support. For blood to spill.

Around 40 people – mostly young girls – died in a bomb blast in Kabul. You have our share in that massacre. Because blood is on your hands too.

You loved snakes. Good ones. Bad ones. Playing with Dollars in one hand and dead bodies on the other.

Cunning hypocrites.

A woman died of heart attack. She was asking for justice for her husband who was missing for last three years. Leaving behind a daughter. Fatherless. Motherless.

Did you cry?

That’s one of the thousands of stories of missing people.

Sahiwal Massacre happened. Rao Anwar’s 444 happened. Ehsan Ullah Ehsan happened and unhappened. So much happened inside your home when you were snoozing and yawning.

Over 70,000 were murdered here. As collateral damage. While the business of ‘War on Terror’ was on play; generating revenues worth of billions.

People were sold to US. Musharraf wrote that in his book. As bounties. For Dollars.

Did you mourn then? Or were you moaning?


Don’t cry now. Don’t waste your crocodile tears. Stop nurturing snakes first. Stop killing and missing your own people. Stop supporting the good old bad guys in the neighborhood.

And feel pain for everyone.
For Yemen. For Uighur. For everyone.

But first of all, for people at home. Because from home starts your domain to which you will be answerable to Allah on the Day of Judgement.

So, save your tears and have some mercy on yourself.

Assistant Commissioner, Sialkot & Our Bureaucracy

Neither civil. Nor service. Nehru said that. Churchill also said something to that effect. Firdaus only went a few steps ahead; from literature into theatrics.

Establishment is a curse. And we have two establishments: civil and military – who poke their nose into everything they shouldn’t.

This is going to be a long one. However, it won’t be boring. Trust me.

Let me clarify first. Firdaus Aashiq Awan is one ugly duckling of PTI, who has a political history with PPP. Her overall political career has nothing to offer except utter(ing) nonsense. That’s it; those are her credentials. A few days back, Rana Sanaullah of PML-N was threatening a bureaucrat publicly too. So, don’t jump into the wagon of any political party at the moment.

These ministers and parliamentarians have the political life of merely 5 years. A tenure. Then they have to work hard again – with money mostly – to be in the game for another 5 years. Another tenure. Tenure by tenure, they struggle to stay.

On the contrary, are these bureaucrats. They stay. They have a tenure of life. They don’t die. They keep sucking the blood of the public. Like leaches and parasites. And they treat the same public as Dalits are treated in India.

Let’s focus on this civil establishment for a while without any political affiliation. Let this be non-political. Apolitical.

Most of the times, these parliamentarians face the heat of lethargic red-tapism of bureaucrats. Since East India Company, the drafting and noting is still the same. Official e-mail communication is absolutely absent because this doesn’t suit them. They will have to read emails themselves, which they can’t do.

The laws are as old as the Civil Secretariat building. And with amendments and substitutions, things are so complex that these bureaucrats themselves are clueless. They have made this web of rules and laws that they keep on changing without knowing the history of these same rules and laws. In the end, they have established a matrix where THEY are the virus.

They will remain clueless.

An MBBS doctor can become the Inspector General. BA Islamiat can become Secretary Health. Finance Department can be run by a Civil Engineer. Most of the lot is of MA and BA graduates, who – with a little luck and cramming – become the rulers. No insult is intended here to anyone; except to the intellect we get in the bureaucracy.

Have you seen them after passing the exam and establishing their Twitter handles? They all tell the same tale. I did that. I followed that. And guess what? People who have attempted all the 12 papers and have failed; have exactly the same tale to tell. Honestly speaking, no one knows how they passed or failed. Because there is a very thin line of success and failure.

When I scored 65 in essay, I know how I did. As I didn’t go to any academy and I didn’t know any rules, I did what I liked. I used markers. I used Urdu and Punjabi poetry. My topic was blasphemy (in light of Charlie Hebdo’s episode) and I chose it solely because I knew not many people would choose that one. I wanted to be different so as to end the boredom for the paper checker. I presented liberal views, with Ghamidi’s interpretation of the religion, and ended with Voltaire’s freedom of speech and our freedom to ignore such issues. 65. That’s what I got.

I failed Precis and this is the point where His Highness will resume the main topic of bureaucrats.

They call themselves the ‘cream of the country’. Even though they know that the cream doesn’t even participate in CSS exams. I participated and I was the worst one – only academically, behave! – in my extended family.

And some don’t even participate. Army has 10% share / seats in PAS (ex DMG), FSP and PSP. They get into Civil Services without even CSS exam and interview. This is another legacy of Zia. Still intact. But who cares. Top notch civil posts are with the army anyway. Why don’t these bureaucrats get offended here?

All they know are some words. Some jargon. Some poetry. Some philosophy. Some lopsided Marx references. Some Iqbaliat. Some religion.

And attire. Perfectly suited and booted. Shaved. Cologned. Manicured. Pedicured. Scented. Nothing stinks.

Noted. May be considered. Ok. Please put up. Please examine. Signed. Approved.

You remember when an AC from Burewala attacked a guard physically? All these bureaucrats were not that furious then.

Anyway. Let me narrate to you how this shit of bureaucracy works in the civil secretariat.

Have you seen the Secretariat? Everyone is running. Officers, personal assistants, naib qasids, officials; everyone is running around. With pages and files. Working papers and Summaries. Everyone is working; yet there is hardly any work being done. That’s the game.

And then there are these bureaucrats. The whole Department is dependent on the mood. If the mood is off, all the visitors from as far as D. G. Khan, Rahim Yar Khan, and Mianwali will have to go back from Lahore without a meeting. The public, in general, comes to the center with fingers crossed. Most of the times they have to return because the bureaucrat is either not in the mood or is absent from office.

Meetings are called and then postponed at the last minute. People come to the center and then leave to their districts without a second thought.

For development schemes, PC-Is are prepared. These PC-Is are uploaded online too. Yet tens of copies of thousands of pages are printed. This is a separate business. For example, for every PSDP (Federal funded) scheme, 50 copies of PC-Is are submitted to Planning Commission, Islamabad. A single copy of PC-I can be of 2,000 pages. Imagine this. This is all trash.

Every single scheme – even before its approval – incurs a wastage of thousands of pages. And if PC-I is amended or revised – a minor change of a single table or graph – the whole exercise is repeated. Loads and loads of trash who nobody reads. No one.

There is the same amount of pages of Working Papers for each Cabinet Meeting. In federal. In provinces. This is a business of paper. Of procurement. Of margins. These margins can be in cash or in air tickets.

Do you want to learn a little about procurement? Tenders. Bids. Technical evaluation. Financial evaluation. Award. Order. Delivery. Inspection. Payment. Every single stage is a business. Every single stage is of corruption.

I wrote about the ‘General Wing’ before, that it is the center of corruption of any department. Section Officer (General) is at the bottom most tier. He manages POL (petroleum, oil, lubricants), TA / DA, daily expenses, salaries, etc. of the Department. And this is the hub. Even an honest person cannot claim his/her TA/DA without offering a certain share.

The ugliness of the General Wing is to this level that they even take a share from the salaries of daily wage workers. Those who are hired on Rs.18,000/- per month, get Rs.16,000/- or Rs.17,000/- per month. This wing doesn’t even shudder on robbing the lowest most strata of the economy.

They can eat Zakat. They can eat funds for mosques. They can eat leftovers. They can eat anything. Like leaches and parasites. But with decorum. With knives and forks. And a smile.

The Accountant General office is another misery. People have to run up and down the rotting, rickety stairs to get their pensions initiated. Without bribery, the system does not work. Online system is adopted only in those areas where corruption has the least chances. In the remaining areas, physical file work is in place since the colonial times. To rob people. To make them suffer. So that they get tired of the system and pay. This is how hell operates.

You must have your own experiences of Excise and Taxation, Customs, Railways, Trade, etc. Every department has the same system which has been established for corruption to flourish.

And have you seen the attitude? They abuse people. They call them bad names. They make them stand when they want to. They make them wait outside for hours. They tell them to shut up. They raise their voice whenever they want. There are some who are so ugly that their juniors quake with fear. Because they terminate you when they can or they throw you far when they cannot terminate you.

Now the AC Sahiba of Sialkot, who was sitting in her air conditioned car and got burned. Garmi main kharab.

She was clueless to be honest. She came late. She had no idea what was being sold. She was trying to present stupid justifications to all the questions. She even mentioned the hot weather. For her, her work is nothing but a way to live a prestigious and elite life. If ministers cannot scold them, no one can. Literally, no one can.

The fruits were rotten because they were for the public and the public doesn’t matter. The loud-mouth minister has been wrong all her life, but that day, she did utter some sanity. She was absolutely right about the pathetic attitude of the bureaucracy and their lack of empathy towards their job and the general public.

In the eyes of the establishment or the bureaucracy, you don’t exist. Digest that.

You people must have your own opinion. You must. You have been ridiculed and offended by these colonial leftovers. You see, they are so colonial that they are attracted to all the colonial buildings. They love to reside in their colonial heritage.

This is an outdated system. George Orwell called it outdated in the 1940s. it’s 2021 for God sake.

There can be technocracy. There can be a private model of organic growth where employees grow from the bottom to the top. There can be particular education for a particular post. There can be proper training for their brains and not just “Commoners Training” to teach them they are special. There can be other benchmarks. But this one: civil bureaucracy, is outdated, rotten, pathetic and ugly.

You don’t exist for them. Hence, nothing is offered to you.

Once a driver of a senior bureaucrat told me, “Sir, they don’t even consider us humans.” My instant rebuttal was, “And we don’t consider them sane OR intelligent.” We both laughed and then I maintained my decorum.

After all, His Highness is in a different league altogether.

10 Years of Bin Laden

Yesterday was International Labor Day. Today is National Embarrassment Day.

Yes. Bin Laden happened today in 2011.

Whether we knew about Bin Laden or we didn’t; is equally embarrassing.

If we knew about the American operation or we didn’t; it’s the same embarrassing tale to tell.

Can US Navy Seals through two Black Hawks come for an operation, near the Federal Capital Islamabad, in the Garrison City of Abbottabad, and then operate for 40 minutes, and then leave successfully without any hurdle?

We knew. Or we didn’t. Embarrassing.

A commission was made. Like usual. But then the Abbottabad Commission Report was not revealed officially. Like Hamood-ur-Rehman Commission Report. So that blunders can be made, again and again, with the heads up high with pride.

Anyway. That Bin Laden is a hero and shaheed for our Prime Minister. He said this in the Parliament. While sitting in the lap of those who made the blunder of his Shahadat.

A beautiful world it is. Everything is connected. Even blood, violence, the dumb and the duffers.

We have an existential crisis, and we have a rationalism crisis too. We can’t think on our own. With blood of thousands on Bin Laden’s hand, we are still unsure if he was a hero or a villain. Right? Wrong.

He was a villain. Like anyone who plays with lives. And in the story of Afghanistan, there are no heroes. There are only villains. The Soviets, the Saudis, the Afghans, and the Americans; all were villains.

Ah! No. Not us. We were not villains in Afghanistan. We were mere pimps. Just making our cut from the business of war and blood.

So, Happy Embarrassment Day. Hear nothing, feel nothing.

At ease, soldier!

Random Numbness (May 2021)


Happy late Labor Day! Nothing to be happy about being labor or the day. It is what it is. A holiday for the bourgeoisie.

Maulana Tariq Jameel has joined the business and is celebrating labor day too. Now he will be selling what he never brought. It happens in business and business is not the issue. The issue is the discretion you allow yourself when you want to make some bucks.

The world, which was a useless place a while back, with lust of money and graveyard of sins; is suddenly a market now. Not a dead cow anymore. A cash cow.

Anyway. He has always been a Maulana of the bourgeoisie. Not the proletariats. Maulanas have markets too. Some have a niche and a unique selling point. Some have nothing but hate and discrimination. Whatever sells. Whatever makes you sit and listen to them.

The other day, NA-249 happened. Like shit happens. Vawda left the seat for his post as Senator, because he was unqualified to be an MNA. Strange. But his legacy was simply unmatched. The winner of 2018’s PTI was not even in the race this time. Ugly Vawda. Ugly legacy. But who cares.

Iremember his one big demo where he brought a boot in a TV show to present the complete political history and present of Pakistan. Rightly so. For that, he deserves to be a Senator. An untouchable senator, nonetheless. His service – of that TV show – will always be remembered.

But the ugliest part was a banned outfit contesting the elections. The state banned it. The state let it have a re-run. How a state can be so dumb and dummy is beyond comprehension. The whole episode of banning it and letting it contest in the by-polls happened in a mere couple of weeks.

No wonder that GSP+ status granted to Pakistan is in question. It was always in question due to blasphemy cases and attacks on journalists; but this banned TLP’s contest in by-polls must have been a trigger.

But thank goodness we have a PM who understands the West.

His boasting of knowing the West in every single presentation is becoming a nuisance. Same speech. Be it any city. Be it any issue. He has the same stance. In a single speech, he goes from Riyasat-e-Madina to Chinese Model to Scandinavian Welfare System to a mixture of everything and a final touch of religion.

A little Nawaz. A little Bhutto. A little past. A little religion. Then boasting. A lot of boasting. Then some more religion. Then more Nawaz. Then the West. Then filtering of the West. Adding the East with patriarchy. A little salt of the latest debacle – which can be blasphemy, rape, sugar crisis, corruption, inflation, something, anything – and then again some Nawaz and then some religion. The dish is ready to be served.

However, the dish is not selling anymore. It didn’t sell in Daska. It didn’t sell in Karachi.

The fall is evident but it doesn’t matter. The selectors will have the final say and it can be anything. It can be the PM again. And again. And again. Because he’s so good.

In other news, Chief Justice of Lahore Higher Court, Mohammed Qasim Khan took the stage to be the new voice in town against the fascist. He took the actual land mafia by the collar and dragged it for a whole day in his courtroom. He called DHA as illegal and tagged them as the biggest land mafia. He was so furious that he mentioned that even 50-kanal of land of Lahore High Court has also been grabbed by the boys.

Boy on boys. Wow!

Dr. Israr Ahmad once mentioned Punjab and its army as a British stooge. He was elaborating the difference between Sindhis and Punjabis and lambasted Punjabis for always siding with the one in power. He said Sindhis must be proud of their history as they took brave stands and were never in service of serving the masters. He praised G. M. Syed and Bacha in the lecture.

Rightly so. Punjab must admit. Like Habib Jalib did. Punjab needs to rise above its selfish interests to become a voice of the weak people. It must. It must nurture brave warriors like Asma Jahangir.

Oh! An Asma Jahangir from the other side of the border – Arundhati Roy – has just jolted the whole system with her article in The Guardian. She took the Modi Sarkar by the collar and reminded her government that not long ago, Modi was running an election campaign with “Shamshan! Shamshan!” just to oppose “Kabristan”.

And, here is India: a giant Shamshan because the government was shamelessly unprepared.

I will share fragments from that long article of Roy in a day or two. But don’t get goosebumps just yet. We have our own Sarkar with similar stupidities and blunders. We have our Modi. We have our Amit Shah. And we have our Yogi Adityanath.

The only difference is of spectrum. And that they have an original cast while we have mannequins.

Pardon me, but we don’t matter. In South Asia, the general public doesn’t matter. We hate each other because this is what our TV screens tell us to do, but we are genuinely living in the exact same shithole. Be it that side of the border or this.

They have public crisis. So do we.
They have drought. So do we.
Their farmer is looted. So as ours.
They have Dalits. We have minorities.
They have business mafia. We have land mafia.
They have blasphemy charges. We have blasphemy laws.
They have hunger, thirst, illiteracy… and we have exactly the same problems.

Yet, the poor classes hate each other just because they are on the other side of the border. Equally poor. Equally illiterate. Equally extremist. Equally misinformed. Equally malnourished.

Equally unequal.

Hush, His Highness!

Back to Islamabad.

Qazi Faez Isa won by 6-4. 6 were traitors. 4 were lickers. Depends on your side of bias. The thing is, the President Alvi – being a puppet – made a mockery of himself and his government. There was absolutely no need to file a reference.

Faez Isa gave a verdict. A very significant and far sighted one. But as he hurt the boys – one boy actually – so he was dragged and insulted. Only if we would have taken Faez’s verdict with some sense, TLP’s recent episode could have been avoided.

But no.

We play politics with religion, blasphemy, fire and the mob. Because the proxy version of politics is the key version to have power in Pindi and not in Islamabad.

Well, what else do you want?
His Highness will have His Sehri now.