Random Numbness (Dec 2022)

Things became boring. Bajwa left ceremoniously. Faiz left unceremoniously. No DG. No DJ. No two sad faces in uniform to meddle in politics without meddling in politics.

Khan is left with nothing but mistakes to remember. It’s been over a week since he announced resignations from two provincial assemblies, but nothing.

Doesn’t even feel like mocking him anymore. With Faiz gone, he’s pretty much done. Until he finds another Faiz.

Meanwhile, the little Sharif is still ruling the country with his hand gestures. No middle finger. Only hands. He’s on top with the new Chief in town. No worries for him until someone sees the boy in a mirror. Snake. Like all the previous snakes who had milk and then they wanted the cow too.

Aren’t they the holy cows themselves?

Then is Zardari. Looks irrelevant but isn’t. His ‘khudday line’ aged well for the boy who was thinking to rule till 2029 – but ended in 2022. Couldn’t see his due 2023.

And then is our Fazlu. He’s sad about Joyland. Doesn’t want to ride along. Couldn’t handle his tongue about women. Typical. Why do these men with beards have to sniff every arse in every town? This business of sniffing needs some scholarly researched articles. To cite. For bickering.

It is boring. There is no fun left. April was the best month of the year. With Joker replacing a Joker and all the midnight drama and fun and everyone seeing the actual culprits who were named and shamed throughout the year.

Blessed days are always remembered when they are gone.

Honestly, let’s halt. For a moment. Omit April.

Khan would have installed Faiz. For sure. The later would have re-installed the former in Fall 2023. Faiz would have given an extension in 2026 to 2029. And Khan would have all the time and all the watches to enjoy and sell. By that time, Ghafoor would have updated the game to 9th Generation warfare with so many unemployed youth sniffing each other’s arse online.

But the dream turned out to be a nightmare with all the relevant boys becoming irrelevant. Only the Joker in Islamabad stays intact with the country breaking down financially. What a shame! For comedy. Of errors.

Anyway. With external loans around $99 billion, the country is on a verge. Still, loans are being taken for roads and unnecessary development projects. Extremely useless loans which are not going to help achieving SDGs or sustainability.

For a peek, go to the World Bank’s official website and see the portfolio of Pakistan and the loan-based projects this country is running. Useless. Pathetic. With billions to be paid in years to come.

Meanwhile, local development is designed only for the sake of ribbons to be cut before the election time. Right on time.

Ah! Solutions. Yes. You crave for solutions. 1st rule of the page is, do not talk about solutions. 2nd rule of the page is, DO NOT TALK ABOUT SOLUTIONS. 3rd rule is, to know the problems, accept them with heart. 4th rule is, to unite with relatable common macro problems. 6th rule is yet to be designed. It will be something a little closer to the history of errors. 7th rule will be something around solutions. 5th rule is left intentionally for unintentional needs and wants.

Until then, suffer!

Random Numbness (April 2021)

Welcome. It’s been a while since numbness; so this will be a long one. Fasten your seatbelts and brace for impact.

The PM was on TV a few days ago. Uttering crap and bickering like usual. Selling religion, as it sells. But then he went farther and talked about rape, parda, fahashi, and stuff. Don’t want to go in details as you must have heard and digested that already. Some of you must have agreed with him as well.

Don’t want to get personal with him, and won’t; but this man is the finest hypocrite we have ever produced. The finest. He can bend in any direction for his selfish reasons.

Right now, he is not even a PM but he is having the media time, PM house, and other benefits of the PM. That is all that he has wanted for 22 years. 22 years he sold something and in the end was purchased by those who were the ugliest in his (earlier) view.

Ugly man to sit on top. Loves lecturing. A tasbeeh in hand. Pictures of offering Namaz. Talking about state of Medina. And that’s all that he has to offer.

What he said about rape and temptation was his ugly side of consciousness. I bet he doesn’t believe it himself because this is not the way he lived and this is not the way his kids are living.

Kids – both genders – are not safe here. Kids under the age of 5 are raped and murdered routinely here. Graves are not safe. Dead bodies are not safe. How come parda as an argument? Temptation?

What we need is a complete re-hauling of our education system. We need to teach sex education with evolutionary syllabus which will offer different content to students of different age groups. We need actual history to be part of the curriculum; where we need to accept our mistakes. We need curriculum on inter-faith harmony to make this land more feasible to live for humans.

Anyway. No one can talk sense here except the senseless men.

Do you know how much the establishment of a hospital costs? A state-of-the-art – well equipped –public hospital of 200-beds costs around Rs.4-5 billion. That’s the same amount which was wasted on a parade of 23rd March. On 25th March. The day was 24th March.
And it wasn’t a defense day. Anyway. It was a Republic day. But then the constitution was torn out and Ayub happened who undid Fatima Jinnah.

Too fast for historical duffers.

And that was all intentional, but my description is numb – under anesthesia – and is unintentional.

The other day, National Assembly – Patriotic Assembly – approved a bill against ‘intentional’ disrespect of forces. Intentional. Like PM’s temptations.

Do you know when such bills are needed? When you are pathetic to the core. Now tell me, what can we talk about? Cement? Cereals? Serials? Songs? Movies? DHAs? Construction? Logistics? Textiles? Sugar? Fertilizers? Housing schemes? Parade? War? Missing people? Not missing people? Half buried people?

You can talk unintentionally only. Mumble. Act as if you have dozed off and are talking sense while not in senses. Like a Guy Ritchie character where you are absolutely unnecessary.

And what about those who lick all day?

I have a friend – in disguise – who defends the government and its selectors like a rotten soul. Shouldn’t he get some award? Like Tariq Jamil and Mehwish Hayat were awarded – though for opposite reasons? I wish my friend gets some award.

Medal of honor se yaad aya that SSP Jawad Qamir got Sitara-e-Shujaat for his work. He killed a family after all. Remember Sahiwal massacre? Yes, that guy was awarded too. This is approval of state terrorism. Just when you think this stage can not fall further, it does. Next year, they may award Rao Anwar for good use of bullets and Ehsan Ullah Ehsan for his escape. Who knows?

And Ali Zafar was awarded too. He is, till now, accused in a sexual harassment case. His award should have been deferred at least. But we have this mockery of stuff. We have awarded those who didn’t deserve it. Hamayun Saeed got it too. Why not my friend?

By the way, POTUS did wrong. They invited 40 PMs and ignored ours who did the billion tree – bullion tree – tsunami bluff. Maybe they do some research. Like satellite images and comparative data. Cacophony though. PM and I, both were not happy with that.

We need investment of Rs.1 billion for marketing of 1 billion trees. That’s the plan now.

And the mockery doesn’t end here. PM approves a thing as a PM and then rejects it as someone else. Then he asks himself and talks to himself and then comes up with a final decision. But one thing is there. Kashmir is discarded. Militarily and officially.

Now remember you standing in the sun after Jumma prayer for the sake of Kashmir. Remember those days? It never was about you or Kashmir.

Kashmir is a business.
A cash cow.
Cash for Pakistan.
Cow for India.

A little about PDM.

It has fallen from grace. They stood for something which is the root-cause of all the problems in Pakistan. They took pizza by the name and threw it off the shelves. They stood tall against threats. But then, PPP stepped back. PPP has always done that since the murder of Z. A. Bhutto. The legacy it has, since 1988, is of a sell-out. They sold Karachi to Rangers and made it a perpetual burning hell – where generals like Naseerullah Babar and SSPs like Rao Anwar – went on killing sprees without a show-cause.

A day will come when tables will turn. See, PPP is in the lap now. Like PTI is. Like PML-N was. Like PML-Q always is. So, tables will turn. Though the lap will remain the same. And all the current NAB and FIA cases will be closed, and new ones will open.

The day Imran Khan will take a stand – the same stand he had for decades till he sold himself out – will be the day he is taken to the courts. He will be taken for his foreign funds, BRT, tsunami, and every single blunder he has made. Dozens of cases are ready to make his life miserable, if he will take a stand. So, he won’t. But he may.

No one knows what comes to mind and what is uttered after a snort.

So, the lap is the same and it’s all about the lap and lap dance.

Have you seen an actual lap dance, by the way? I have. Once. That too in Dam Square of Amsterdam.

Next time, His Highness intends to ask the dancer to come in uniform and dance on my lap. And history will witness His Highness, as the first one who will change the lap.

Bajwa Leaks

“Ask Agriculture Department”. That’s where it ended when Shahzad Akbar had nothing else to say. Well, that was precise and accurate. Like Faisal Vawda with a boot on the table. Demonstrating political history – and present – of Pakistan.

How did Sharif go abroad? Why is that even a question? Yes, PTI’s government in Punjab recommended it and PTI’s government in Federal nodded at the departure. But it was Agriculture Department. Ass always.

Sheikh Rashid – press conference minister of the state – has reiterated a zillion times that it was establishment. But he also claimed that PM IK didn’t know about it.

Well, what does he know? For international matters, boys go to meet MBS. Boys talk to Bill Gates. Civil bodies are only to represent where they can’t go. Like UN. Or Summits.

Yet ECP is here. Ballots are here. Votes are here. A whole democratic setup is here. To keep you busy with a democratic presence.

Zia introduced Sharif in the 1980s. Sharif took federal. Dismissed. Took federal again. Dismissed. Treason. Deal. Went abroad. Came back. Took federal a third time. Dismissed. Deal. Abroad.

See the pattern. He ruled for around 9 years as PM. Never completed his term. Did all the dirty work for the establishment. And as soon as he got the confidence to impose civil supremacy… dismissed. Followed by treason. Followed by corruption. Followed by deal. Followed by a visit abroad. Followed by another selection.

Meanwhile Bajwa, the CPEC-Bajwa, is on Twitter. Businesses abroad. Papa John’s Pizzas with 133 restaurants. Prados. Mansions. Properties. Bajco. Worth somewhere around US$100 million.

That would be around PKR 17 billion. Just 17. Billion.

But it’s not Panama Leaks or Dawn Leaks. It’s Bajwa Leaks. He’s not a PM to be taken out by the collar or a journalist to be cleaned up.

So why so serious? Will you mourn every single island in Australia? Or every single acre? Or every single farm house? Or every single housing scheme? Or every single marriage hall? No.

We have other things. To grieve. To weep.

We have Hayat Baloch. Like we had Sahiwal. And Naqibullah. And hundreds of thousands of others. Begging for basics. Striving to breathe. Do we care if this or that is in federal? No. Because nothing changes.

They are all in one boot. Or boot on them. Or whatever.

Why to care about the every single leaf when we have this beauty of diversity?

We have Julie Khan. The trans-vocalist. She dared to defame Pakistan with truth. So lies were invented to book her and humiliate her. She had been violently treated in the past too but she didn’t learn. Hopefully, she’ll learn now.

Then we have dead bodies. Falling here and there. Like leaves in autumn. Will we mourn about every fall on each fall? No.

Then we have people going missing all of sudden. And their not-so-nationalist parents being prized with national awards. Like Joyo.

But we do insist to be that voice that shakes whatever podium it gets.

Let’s see another pattern.

Wherever there are foreign funds, there are boys. Locust. Covid-19. Floods. Earthquake. CPEC. And stuff.

So, you should be rational enough to rise above the dust to see a macro picture.

Or you can keep on proving your sect, your religion, your caste, your language, and your political party. This or that. Waste of time.

Read لَكُمْ دِينُكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينِ.

For you is your religion, and for me is my religion. Move on. Rise.

Don’t take nationalist salad or religious sauce anymore. Ask for pizza. Where’s your slice?

It’s Papa John’s Pizza by the way. There is papa. And there is pizza. Those who consider them as ‘papa’ won’t ask for pizza. Even a bacon pizza will become holy and sacred.

All you need to be is Faez. Not Faiz. It will be a struggle for better Pakistan and better future for future generations.

Rise yourself above all the petty things. Above the dirt. Above the dust. Above the noise pollution. And then you will be able to see the root cause of all the problems around you. It’s pretty uniform.

Together we Stand! Together we shall See!

From the ending of 2012 to the beginning of 2013, the predictions of Mayan Calendar and Doomsday proved to be true for Pakistan. Apart from having a victorious cricket tour of India, Pakistan faced gruesome crisis. American drones were continuously thrown on innocent people on western border. LOC on eastern border is shaped into a before-war scenario. Within the borders, situation is further bloodcurdling. Killing of Shias in Quetta/Hazara got bloodier, threat to lives of Punjabis are higher in Baluchistan, target killing in Karachi didn’t take a break yet, and suicide bombings in Peshawar have increased in last some days.

Destruction has become fate of Pakistan. From north to south, the whole country seems to be covered in shroud. Game of pimps has started in political affairs of state as elections are approaching. Tahir-ul-Qadri is on his way to Islamabad for restoration of constitution in relevance to elections, which seems to be a complete drama. Altaf Hussain just attacked his “political drone” by targeting Quaid-e-Azam. Imran Khan is still with unfinished agendas and party. PML-N is Punjabing in their Punjab by not speaking in national crisis which makes them coward. Lastly PPP, it never cared and doesn’t give a damn about anything.

Internally and externally, Pakistan is totally shattered at the moment. There is nothing developmental or cultural on which we can be proud of. Pick up the newspaper or click on any channel, we see dead bodies, blast news, drone attacks, victims, victims’ families, death, hunger… and yet no one is speaking for change, apart from political stakeholders.

We can easily blame it on America or India for atrocities happening in Pakistan. There is no doubt that certain events lead us to this belief, but the real problem is within ourselves. Is Pakistan so weak that anyone can intrude? Is Pakistan so naïve that foreign agendas can jeopardize the whole country?

At present there is one organization which appears to be most benefitting; i.e. military. Pakistan Army is now being called by protesters to hold emergency in Baluchistan. Many are advocating martial law over the country. Words and actions of Tahir-ul-Qadri reject all political parties and favor the army. Army is again playing “big daddy” role while sitting behind the curtain.

Calling army would be another smack on wounded Pakistan. Army has failed miserably, within or without politics, in FATA, western borders, and northern areas. It has failed miserably in dealing with messy situations of Raymond Davis, OBL Operation, attacks on GHQs, dealing with drones, and missing people in Pakistan. From Musharraf to Kayani, there is nothing about army to be proud of. Calling them for help would be welcoming another disaster.

I don’t have any conclusion as I don’t know who is loyal, honest and right for this country presently. Many believe Khan, others believe Sharif and another crowd believes Qadri. Honestly speaking, I don’t think anyone of them is good but may be Khan or Sharif, together, can be the best option. They should unite for the sake of Pakistan and clear all this mess of violence, burglary and corruption.

Even in the worst case scenario, I don’t believe that Pakistan will have to lose its region. I also don’t believe that it will be defeated by any external or internal powers. May be we have to sacrifice more, so what. We are sacrificing before its creation. It is dream of our Iqbal, a reality of our Quaid and “oonthni” of Prophet Saleh A.S. as mentioned beautifully by Ashfaq Ahmad. No one can tell the future of Pakistan but we are sure it is not depressing. We are hopeful and we are struggling. Hoping it best in words of Faiz;

We shall see

Certainly we too, will see; we shall see

The day that has been prophesized
The one written on the Tablet of Fate
We shall see
When all crowns will fly
When all thrones will fall

Then only Allah’s name will remain
Who is unseen, yet ever seeing
Who is the sight, as well as the scene
When the anthem of truth will be raised
Who I am too, And so are you

And the people of God will rule
Who I am too, And so are you

We shall see
Certainly we too, will see; we shall see
We shall see