Author: Saki Nama

Writer.

Veena! You are dismissed

How embarrassing, Veena! You always prepare for viva even when you know you have cheated the exams. That’s an unsaid rule.

Just because of your interview with Badami, the 5th Generation Warfare is in danger. The whole marketing campaign is down. Funds are wasted.

After exposing deep cleavage in India, you have exposed the deep state in Pakistan. This is deep shit!

This ain’t a tattoo you can remove. This is not front cover of FHM. This is Twitter. This is our warzone.

Now, in order to keep the legacy intact, and in the name of patriotism, and survival of the nation from uninformed and un-uniformed bloody civilians, and Indians, and Afghans, and the dolphins in the Arabian Sea; you are hereby dismissed from the services.

Till further orders from the incompetent authority.

Veena! On a personal note, see the current state machinery closely. Fawad Chaudhary comes and dismisses Sheikh Rasheed. Sheikh Rasheed comes with a different press conference. Then both tells a completely different story. Then they correlate. Then they make a new story.

And when they can’t handle it anymore, they put it on India. Simple. Switch hit it is. Why couldn’t you do that?

You didn’t know Azmat Saeed? Take a break and Google. Start coughing when you don’t know. Fall. Pretend a stroke. Play it like you played it in Big Boss.

No wonder you were dismissed from there too.

It’s not about position. Not about enjoyment. Because it’s not a position. It’s a narrative. You don’t enjoy it as long as you want to. You keep it inside forever.

State Must Be Secular

That is why the state must be secular. The heroes of 2017 are villains today. Why? Religion. Interestingly, both the sides are religious and safeguarding Islam. Safeguarding Islam? From? Does Islam need your safeguarding?

No. It’s you who need Islam to sell your products. It’s a marketing tactic.

What is the meaning of being religious? Pretend! Pretend that you are faithful to the global Muslim cause. What is the global Muslim cause? Muslims against Muslims is the only effect I see.

Back in 2017, TLP was “apnay log”. Today, they are Indian agents.

Back in 2017, TLP was working for Namoos-e-Risalat. Today, they are working for RAW.

Back in 2017, they were given Rs.1,000 per agitator. Today, they are getting bullets.

Back in 2017, Military declined to take any action. Today, Rangers is posted in the whole province for two months.

Back in 2017, they were proxy political outfit of Military. Today, they are exactly the same but on the negative side of the Likert Scale.

Back in 2017, Sheikh Rasheed, Shah Mehmood Qureshi, Tahir ul Qadri, and the whole Military junta was supporting TLP. Imran Khan said some big words – typical of him, don’t mind – in support of them.

Today, vomit is being considered as soup. After all, it’s winter coming.

Some days back, PM Khan got stubborn for some days regarding appointment of new DG ISI. Then he took a u-turn. Classic. Have your heard the audio leak of Late Naeemul Haq? That describes the whole persona of the PM. He is nothing more than that. May be a little less. Or lesser.

Anyway, the state must be secular. Otherwise, it’s going to get deeper into the pit without a solution. First, it will be a Muslim state. Then a Sunni State. Then another division. Another. Another. Until all of us will be non-believers except the ones ruling the state. And we do know very well who is ruling this state in particular. 

Religion is personal. If it’s not personal, its business. A show-off. If it’s at state level, it’s oppressive. State MUST be secular and that is the only future of the world.

All the great ideas were blasphemous once.

This is the chapter – of 150-200 future years perhaps – wherein religion will become nothing more than a deeply personal belief. Today, we have scientific reasons behind earthquakes, cyclones, lunar eclipses, and almost everything. We are going deep into DNA and its modification way beyond our imagination. We keep the data of the whole world in our pockets. Religion is not required the way it was needed 200 years back. We already have many answers.

But to be honest, the unknown things will remain unknown. Who we are? Where are we going? Where were we before here? What do we know after death? Is this all real or a multi-players game?

Belief is necessary after all. We need it to get through deaths, pains, and traumas. We need religion in catastrophic situations when oxygen masks are out in the airplane. To pass. Through the traumatic episode or from the world altogether. But after landing… who cares?

Look around. The opposition of past is acting like the rulers of the past. Everything is opposite. Except one thing that the state has a religion and for that, we can do anything. Properties can be burned. Roads can be blocked. Acid can be used. Bullets can be fired. And blood can be spilled.

It’s a windmill of martyrdom. Again.

The one dying is a martyr. The one killing is a ghazi. Because the state has a religion.

District Development Package (DDP) of Punjab 2021-22

This piece is in response to Mr. Hasaan Khawar, SACM to the Chief Minister Punjab, who has recently tweeted that District Development Package (DDP) is a game-changer for Punjab. Well, it is not a game-changer.

Budget 2020-21 was prepared with mockery in the name of ‘Development’. Punjab – like KPK – has made one of the stupidest budgets (particularly development portfolio) in years.

A quick look.

Hundreds of thousands of new schemes – tagged under DDP – were included in ADP 2021-22 of Punjab; to make parliamentarians happy. Most of these schemes were non-feasible and against the set rules of development criteria.

For example, a school is proposed near another school (instead of revamping the old one) so that the parliamentarian of the region can cut the ribbon of the new building right before the next general elections.

Similarly, a health facility is being established right within the vicinity of a DHQ or Tertiary Hospital. To cut ribbon. Before election.

And even the calculation is messed up. There are around 20 DDP schemes in ADP 2021-22 which are regarding “Establishment of Trauma Centers” across Punjab. The cost of Trauma Center should be same (at least somewhat). But, no. One trauma center is being established for Rs.50 million while another one is being established for Rs.500 million. Same is the case with schools, BHUs, RHCs, roads, etc. There is no homework and there is no planning.

You remember there were talks of “angry parliamentarians” and “forward block” in Punjab during April-May 2021? This DDP was designed to make them happy. Now they all have something to look forward to cut ribbons around the next General Elections.

With these DDP schemes in ADP 2021-22 worth billions of rupees, CM Office of Punjab directed the Administrative Departments and Local Administrations of the province to approve all the schemes below Rs.50 million by July 21st, from Rs.50 to 400 million by July 31st, and above Rs.400 by August 31st. Even if the schemes were non-feasible.

PC-Is (which is a document of a scheme / project with its complete scope of work, costing, financing, etc.) were prepared within days. Copying one PC-I and pasting it to other 100s. Commissioners and Deputy Commissioners approved (originally approved, principally approved, or pathetically approved) schemes in wholesale. One after another. With or without PC-Is. With or without feasibility. With or without availability of lands / sites. Because they had no other direction from the top, and mostly, the bureaucrats have no ground to stand on.  

There is an online portal called SMDP of P&D Board of Punjab. All the Secretaries, Commissioners, and Deputy Commissioners were in race to mark their schemes as “approved” on the portal. They were approving schemes on Eid-ul-Azha days as well. Don’t be surprised. They were approving schemes without DDC / DDWP meetings.

This is Punjab at the moment. With a stick in the arse, bureaucrats were running around the directions of the CM.

What will this huge DDP portfolio lead to?

Billions will be wasted. With unplanned PC-Is and hassled approvals, long-term results are going to be scaring. Ugly structures with repetitive scope of work and with duplication in equipment and HR; Punjab’s development is going to be hurt in the long-run (technically called: MTDF which is the throw-forward to finance these schemes in future).

This is happening in all 32 departments of Punjab, which fall under the “charismatic” leadership of Planning & Development Board.

Do you know what is the difference between Parliamentarians and Bureaucrats? Nothing. One is cream (expired) and the other is power elite. Both with poor IQ and least concern for the general public. Usually hand-in-hand with the tax-payers money being wasted like this.

Let me give you another example.

Consider the land is free. On a 10 marla plot, you can construct a brand new home, with properly furnished baths and bedrooms, at a cost of Rs.1 crore. Rs.1 crore is a huge amount when you make your own home.

Now come to a government dispensary. Again, the land is free. For a one room dispensary with one shelf, a toilet, a couple of doors, and basic furniture; it will cost Rs.1 crore.

A simple single storey building with a couple of rooms, toilets, and a passage; will have a cost of over Rs.5 crores.

Huge briberies from contractor to SDO to XEN to SE to Chief to all the ugly ducklings in and around the Secretariat move in a discreet manner. That’s the only thing that moves from bottom to top in a swift and sincere manner. With huge corruption, even the newly established structures look old and are ready to leak as soon as there’s Monsoon.

News says that development budget of the province has increased from Rs.337 billion in 2020-21 to Rs.560 billion in 2021-22. But it is not development based on feasibility studies. It is just more. More allocations. More releases. More opportunities. More corruption. More generation of wealth. More ribbons. And more everything.

Random Numbness (Sep 2021)

Long time, no Highness.

It’s easy to accept that 9/11 was an inside job. But it’s tough to get the same insight regarding APS 2014. However, one thing for sure is, both the incidents served intelligence and militaries of the respective countries.

That’s why people like Ehsan Ullah Ehsan escape like Jerry and no one bothers.

Here we are again. Crying out loud in the UN General Assembly for everything we like. Islamophobia. Kashmir. Afghanistan. Taliban. Our cherry-picked favorite topics. Never cried for Yemen and many others.

We have been the pro bono – though not-so-pro-bono – spokesperson for Kashmir since 1947. Not for nothing. We accumulated a mighty arsenal based on Kashmir. India did the same. The two armies suck blood from the poor people for the sake of poorer people of Kashmir. In the name of nationalism and emotions.

The two poor nations have made two huge armies, equipped with atomic bombs, to mess around. A little mess here, a little mess there, and here goes another tranche.

But not everywhere. The monthly border bombings and firings – to keep the armies and their budgets intact – are mostly in Narowal and Sialkot sectors. Though DHA Lahore is much closer. Why not there? Because this is all set. Like 9/11. Like APS 2014.

Why don’t you get that this is all business of the Lords of War?

So, Ehsan Ullahs escape. But that doesn’t concern His Highness. What concerns His Highness is your dumb silence and your unquestioning loyalty. No one took the guards by the collar after he escaped. As if nothing happened. As if cognitive revolution is yet to happen.

Business. Nationalism and patriotism and everything. Your emotions are played. Sometimes with religion and sometimes with music. It works both ways as ISPR has proved. The same people with revealing bodies, cover themselves and give you religious sentiments and ultrasonic vibes, just because they play it better; with and without covers.

Byproducts. Nothing more than that you are.

Come to the current affairs. This includes affairs of Zubair Umar too but let’s save that for later.

Our loudmouth for our brothers from another mother – Talibans – is causing us not only moral embarrassment, but also economic setbacks. With New Zealand and England gone, Cricket is pretty much back to where it was 5 years ago. To be honest, that doesn’t even matter in the macro-economic view.

But we need to be good with words. It is not like PM Imran Khan is talking about women and their bodies and their clothes and men getting erections. It is about foreign affairs and international relations. Your big mouth can put the whole country and all the expats in serious trouble. Faiz’s move to Kabul for a cup of tea is nothing fantastic.

Iran is also on its toes. Things are getting real ugly with all the neighbors getting suspicious about us. We play religion with one. Sectarianism with the other. Brotherhood with the third. And Taya Gee with the fourth. And it is working. Against us.

With our support for ‘talibs’ in Afghanistan, we are disowning our own students in Islamabad. A mess has been created here since President Alvi’s ordinance of Pakistan Medical Commission. The poorly planned, month long, and expensive entry test is dubious. The whole medical system has been hijacked by this regime.

Life was so easy on the container. These same self-righteous men of the disguised-martial-law were supporting doctors and students all the way until they got their foot on the pedal. Now, the dream is collapsing and students are suffering. From the Capital to IBA Karachi. Just like the government itself, the schooling institutions have become Zia in itself. The guy who blew the whistle of harassment was expelled by IBA Karachi. How cool is that?

Because when nobody talks, nothing happens. No one escapes. No one is guilty.

Congratulations on the petrol price hike by the way. Again. While Zubair Umar was digging, and people were digging his digging, the actual petroleum products’ digging went up globally. There is petroleum crisis around the world. So, this time, we have a justification. But this utter nonsense of hiking prices every fortnight is ugly. Plus, we have so many other business oriented hikes like of sugar, wheat, medicine and other commodities.

Now the tapes. Hidden cameras. Hotel rooms. And stuff like that. Your favorite part of the post.

This happens everywhere, and when it’s with consent, you can buzz off. Your moral policing and bickering is not required because you are not the PM as yet. It’s happening. Just because you dislike Manto and your eyes are shut, doesn’t mean the greasing isn’t happening. It has been happening since the beginning. (Not advocating it.)

The point is: it shouldn’t be a tool to ridicule or embarrass anyone. It is Zubair now. A while back it was Sheikh Rashid. Before that there have been various celebrities, politicians, muftis, major sb, and common people. That was all with consent and you don’t need to play God. Disagree, please. But don’t ridicule.

It is absolutely wrong to be exposed this way. Equally wrong for all genders. As a society, we are losing morality. This way, private lives can be mocked right from the Prime Minister’s personal life to everyone.

Don’t watch. Don’t share. And ignore. This can be you tomorrow.

By the way, this is the right thing to ignore. But you choose to ignore Ehsan Ullahs. And your questions. And your conscientiousness.

And His Highness.

Babus & Babies

It’s easier to make a kid understand a thing than a DMG/PAS officer. Or any CSP/PMS in general.

What’s the hierarchical idea of private organizations?

Imagine a new CEO is imposed on Google. A CSP of course.

Or in Yahoo. Or Tesla. Or Amazon. Or NASA.

What will that lead to? Obvious disaster.

Here Education Department is under CSPs. As well as Health. IT. Roads. Communication. Buildings. Everything.

They sit at the top of the hierarchy of P&D Departments of all the provinces too. Handling development portfolio of tens of departments. Over a hundred across the country.

Nutshell: Dump. Garbage producing garbage from taxpayers money. As easy as a nod.

The uglier part is they come as a Secretary or CEO or DG of a Department as a newborn child. The third tier of the hierarchy teaches them from A, B, C to D. That’s it. They cannot go further than that.

Then when they are at D, they are transferred and another newborn arrives. Baby’s day out starts again and the whole department becomes a daycare center.

This is how we have messed up the civilian departments of the country. CTP to CTP. Step by step. Every year with commoners without common sense.

Now imagine the high profile meetings. Cabinet and Board meetings where they all sit after years and decades of service. They discuss. Imagine them discussing issues and projects and their feasibilities. The intellectual discussion is so fuckin embarrassing that your existence feels like a misfit in a club of unknowns; enjoying the dumbest party ever.

Like Marla in the testicular cancer club.

Every other word is nothing more than a joke for the guys sitting behind them who have actually done the work. Imagine the homeworkers talking and having a discussion. Would be worth a sitting.

Anyway. This is how it works. Those who sit behind, near the walls, are the girls and guys who know; while those who chair and the ones in the front rows are the miserable beings of our system.

A system which has given us these babus and babies.

The Federal and Provincial Government should end this system. With no second thoughts or ifs and buts. Let the senior most employee with due qualifications and set of criteria be at the top till his/her retirement.

There is such a system in the Judiciary and various other setups. Or in private organizations where employees from the middle and bottom hierarchies rise to the top due to their performance and experience.

Putting a new kid after every few days to head a Public Department will give Government nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The top-notch cream – so called – starts from being an AC usually. Then with different intra and inter departmental rotations, they become DCs. Then, over the years experience of various postings here and there, they become commissioners and secretaries in their late 40s to 50s. And by the time they reach the top of the hierarchy, they are as pure as a newly baptized kid.

Hallelujah!

I know the politicians have their cons. But they face questions from the public most of the times because of the lethargic bureaucracy and it’s incompetence.

Let’s take an example.

The Prime Minister goes to Peshawar tomorrow and announces a university. Now it will take ages for the bureaucracy to make this happen. Not that they are going deep into feasibility but because of their routine red-tapism.

First there will be a Directive from the office of the PM which in itself will take 2 weeks at least. Then it will reach the department’s right wing in another week. Then the department will ask the district to make a feasibility report which is nothing more than a couple of pages’ shit. Then that will come back to the department. Then after long ‘please put-up’ and ‘urgent please’, PC-I will see the day. Then it will go into the intellectual board of P&D which will approve it – obviously because the PM had already announced it – after amusing discussions. And then the case of allocation of funds will come. Then it will lead to release.

All this will easily take a year.

And in the meanwhile, the PM will face the harsh questions and the bureaucrats will keep on playing merry go rounds of transfers and postings.

The solution is simple but it’s an abrupt one. Discontinue the establishment. And by establishment, I mean both the establishments: civil and not-so-civil.

The New Disorder

Two wrongs don’t make a right. If I suggested that Talibans are Yazidis, it doesn’t mean that Americans / NATO were Hussainis. You made idiotic analogy on your own. I said “Afghanistan is going from worse [under America] to worst [under Taliban]”. I have written against the wrongdoings of America. From Syria to Yemen to Iraq to Afghanistan. Multiple times. Particularly on collateral damage and drone strikes. This War on Terror was an ugly idea. But the issue started when we wanted to become a part of it. In the 1980s, we became part of the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan. We provided our services [which I referred to as ‘pimping’] to America and Saudia. We got dollars in return for providing training camps, human resources, Dollar-funded-Jihadists, routes to Afghanistan, and our intelligence. Then came 9/11. We again provided our services – yes, pimping – to our usual masters. We again provided air bases, routes, human resource, and intel. The only difference was everything. Then we were killing those that we made. We became anti-Jihadists. We were pro-collateral-damage. We abducted people. Sold them for bounties [exact words from Musharraf’s book]. And made billions. According to WikiLeaks, General Kayani made a deal in America and he urged them to enhance the drone attacks. We lost billions on one side but we made billions as well. The public lost billions, but a specific elite class made billions. Papa Johns’ laid its foundation exactly at those times when the whole country was bleeding. Do you know who gave a bad name to “Jihad”? Pakistan’. Pakistan had turned the word “Jihad” into “terrorism”. With the short-sighted-policies for dollars, Pakistan has hurt the image of Islam in the worst possible way globally. Now coming to Talibans. Yes, they are Yazidis. Anyone who is Zalim is Yazid. Anyone who enforces and kills innocent people is Yazid. And anyone who supports Yazidis is a Zalim. What is an Islamic State? Now this “Islamic State” in itself is a terrorizing combination of words since the rise of IS or ISIS. What have we made of this religion? But let’s dig out how Prophet Muhammad PBUH designed His state of Medina: • Prophet Muhammad PBUH reached Medina after hijrat in 622 AD. He gradually started working on His community. With verses coming from Allah, He laid the foundation of an Islamic society. Read “Islamic Society”; not a state. • It is also to note here that God’s way is the evolutionary way. Not the revolutionary one. God sent hundreds and thousands of prophets. Various books. And in the end, when he finalized the Prophet-hood on Muhammad PBUH, He finalized it gradually. o 40 years before He was told that He is the last Prophet. o 23 years for Quran. o Evolutionary. Not revolutionary. • Gradually, Medina became a Muslim majority state. But it didn’t become a theocratic state. Jews, Christians, and idol worshippers remained in Medina and they had complete freedom to follow their religious teachings. • Non-Muslims were treated and trialed according to their own religion. • The State of Medina remained completely secular and no religion was declared as the religion of state. Medina didn’t become “Islamic State of Medina”. • Educated non-Muslims – who were caught in war – were asked to teach Muslim students. • Women were doing business. The wife of the Prophet, Khadija RA did business even before formation of State of Medina under the Prophet PBUH. • ‘Constitution of Medina’ was implemented to maintain peace and harmony in the region. • The constitution maintained and ensured religious freedom for all. The constitution also maintained that stakeholders from all backgrounds – Muslims and non-Muslims – will participate during formulation of foreign policy. • And there was no ‘Blasphemy’ against non-Muslims or Muslims. The Prophet PBUH had a very clear idea of the state. There were no ifs and buts. There were no grey areas. People were free. Wars were defensive. Mecca was taken-over without a single drop of blood spilled. Amnesty for all was granted in every possible scenario. But then, the Ummah gradually changed the religion. Altogether. Blasphemy became a common tool against the weak. Clear concepts became confusing. And then those subjects, which religion didn’t touch, were taken up by the Ummah. Topics like modern equipment, music, singing, business, etc. Quran is completely silent on the topic of music. You may have your own strict views on music but objectively speaking, Allah didn’t call it haram. Allah didn’t talk about it in Quran. He, perhaps, left it on you. But Ummah called things haram. All the practices which kept the Molvi in-charge of the faithful, were enforced. Taraveeh is enforced even with the idea that fasting is dependent on it, though religion never insisted on it. But Taraveeh keeps a Molvi’s position intact. Same goes for Zakat, fitrana and everything. These Molvis do not talk about education, human rights, women rights, rape, child abuse, government, corruption of the elite, etc. It’s going to drag if we start going topic-by-topic. Anyway. With centuries, and with some staunch religious scholars, the religion became orthodox. It became powerful, as well as enforcing. Powerful rulers used it to conquer lands. Powerful soldiers used it to take bounties in the form of wealth and women. Powerful scholars used it to make shrines around them. Powerful landlords used it to keep their weak laborers in line. Hence, it became a tool. And then came Pakistan. One of the only countries in the world which was formed on religion. Perhaps this idea is also enforced as its founder was a modernist and all against the idea of a theocratic state. But the state was soon taken-over. Jinnah died in an ambulance. Civil rulers were gradually taken in control. And the state became militarized within the span of a decade. It is a military state since then. A security state. Always in danger. Sometimes it is in danger due to external threats. Sometimes internal. Sometimes, it is safe but the religion is in danger. But the truth is, the custodians of the state are in danger because of their never ending greed. These war-mongering-custodians made proxy outfits within and without. One of them were Talibans. And here comes the topic. You can confuse it with “Good Taliban” and “Bad Taliban”. You can confuse yourself and you can confuse people around you. But actually, there is no confusion. These men who mock religion with their violence against men, women and children are not followers of the Prophet Muhammad PBHU. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. Because of terror of these Talibans, common people are running for their lives, riding planes madly, and falling. Squads of Talibans are making people leave their homes in terror and fear. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. The beasts threaten men without beards and women without burqa. They enforce religion. They enforce themselves on weak people. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. These Talibans use blasphemy as a tool to kill people to make a terrorizing environment. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. These people kill those who sing and dance. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. Prophet Muhammad PBUH never did that. When Prophet Muhammad PBUH entered Mecca, people were made fearful that a huge army is coming to takeover and kill everyone. Yet, entered a Man with the weapon of sympathy. Weapons were dropped. Amnesty was raised. Truce and a pact were made. All were forgiven. Even those, who hurt Prophet Muhammad PBUH and His family fatally. Every single one was forgiven and granted peace. Yet, you, unknown of your religion and your Prophet PBUH, are happily welcoming transgressors who behave like followers of the Prophet PBUH, but actually they are the enemies. You, blind followers of a security state, are brainwashed to the core. You cannot even differentiate between right and wrong. Yet you are stupid enough to make “good ones” and “bad ones” out of a crowd of beasts. By the way, playing Hamid Gul won’t make you victorious. Hamid Gul’s own hands were bloody with his games of decades where hundreds and thousands of people died. But those – you – were sleeping when choppers entered into the heart of the military city of Abottabad. The two choppers came, did an operation, bombarded a home, and took Bin Laden with them. The great intelligence and military didn’t even know about the operation until the choppers were out of the country. Or may be they knew. But knowing is more embarrassing and cowardly. Isn’t it? You may think you win with your snakes but you didn’t. You were taken by balls various times and you couldn’t even retaliate or get a sorry. But you kept on playing with weak people inside and outside the Durand Line. Ending this with ‘Manaqib al-Imam Ahmad’ by Ibn al-Jawzi; p.397: When Imaam Ahmad bin Hambal was imprisoned, one of the prison guards came to him and asked him: “O Abu ‘Abdillah! The hadith that is narrated regarding the oppressors and those that aid them – is it authentic?” He said: “Yes.” The prison guard then said: “So, am I considered to be an aide of the oppressors?” Imam Ahmad replied: “No. The aides of the oppressors are those that comb their hair, and wash their clothes, and prepare their meals, and buy and sell for them. As for you, you are one of the oppressors themselves.” Mind your thoughts and words carefully. If you cannot call an oppressor an oppressor, it is better to keep quiet and know it in your heart at least. But if your heart isn’t pumping the right flow of blood to your brain, then keep on chanting the narrative that the state has commissioned in your brain. You are done, already. There are no ifs and buts. There is no grey area. It is crystal clear. At least for me.

Lionel Messi

Prior to 2011, I knew nothing about football. I always thought of it as 22 men running after a ball madly. Faking injuries. Diving. Striving for penalties rather than scoring. And, I thought it as an artless game.

Then I got Xbox.
After some shooting games, came EA’s FIFA. With Messi on cover, I started playing online with ‘Barcelona’; which became a bad habit. I was addicted to online FIFA for years on Xbox. Mind you, I was a very good competitor.
With Xbox came curiosity for the real game and La Liga.
That transformed into actual love for FC Barcelona. La Liga. UEFA. Tiki Taka. And everything of Barcelona. Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, Dani Alves, Alba, Mascherano, Busquets, Pique, Villa, Valdes, Neymar, Suarez, and Messi. From Pep Guardiola to Tito Vilanova to Luis Enrique.
And #Messi.
While watching his games in evenings, nights, and late-late nights; I fell in love with him. With Messi, Barcelona won everything. All the titles. Big fishes from all the other leagues were caught and ripped apart. They became undefeatable.
And then came Messi vs. Ronaldo rivalry. A treat to watch. Two giants in two rival clubs, Barcelona and Real Madrid. El Clasicos became another treat to watch. I used to wait for El Clasicos as kids waiting for Eid.
Being a huge fan of Messi, I don’t hate Ronaldo. Both are aces. And we are lucky to watch these two live in our lives. But comparing two, Messi is centuries ahead of him. Ronaldo is a goal scorer only. Messi assists goals as many as he scores. He makes the game. he dribbles around half line and dribbles inside the box. Messi is an artist of his own kind and there is none who can be compared to him.
On head to head statistics – mostly in El Clasicos – Messi and Ronaldo has the following numbers:
Number of games: 35
Wins: Messi 16; Ronaldo 10
Goals: Messi 22; Ronaldo 19
Assists: Messi 12; Ronaldo 1
Anyway.
A lot of memorable games. 2-1 win against Manchester United in 20
10-11 in Champions League final.
4-0 win against Real Madrid in 2015.
6-1 historic comeback in 2nd leg against PSG.
5-1 against Real Madrid in 2018.
92nd minute goal by Messi against Real Madrid and that infamous “shirt celebration” so that Bernabeu may never forget him (picture of this post).
And they will not.
Messi has paid back Barcelona more than they invested on his health and insurance.
672 goals. 288 assists for Barcelona. 10 La Liga. 4 Champions League. 7 Copa Del Rey 3 Club World Cup. 6 Ballon d’Or. 6 European Golden Shoe. No one else has these numbers. No one.
And with that, adios to Spain with a disappointing season of 2020-21. With the humiliating defeat from Bayern, and poor management since Luis Enrique’s departure, it was bound to fall this hard.
Other than World Cup 2014’s final, this is heartbreaking. Barcelona and La Liga won’t be the same without him.
But a new beginning is here. In pursuit of art, I will follow the artist wherever he will move.
I hope it would be Manchester City as Pep Guardiola is there. And with that, there will be something new to look for. English commentary. English crowd. And Lionel Messi. Another Golden Boot? UEFA title? Ballon d’Or? Shirt celebration in Manchester? Who knows.

Ending this with a British blogger who was once driven to question whether Messi was better at football than anyone else had ever been at anything else. In this view, Messi’s true competitors are Mozart, Napoleon, and Da Vinci.

After Noor

She wanted to make her point with a placard in Aurat March. Then she was beheaded. Murdered. Buried. Making her point with a tombstone. Yet, the ‘Qamars’ and ‘Oryas’ are as ugly as they have ever been.

The other one stayed for 10 years with four children in a toxic marriage. Tortured for a decade and then murdered ultimately. What else was expected there? The only blessing in her life could have been a divorce.

Then another one was fatally shot by her husband. He shot his kids too.

Then another one.

And another one.

Some reported. Some un-reported. Some viral. Some ignored. Regardless of class or illiteracy. Or literacy.

A chain reaction of dead bodies. Of dead bodies we hush up. Of dead bodies we prefer over divorces.

Do you even know how beautiful divorce is? It is as beautiful as marriage. Both the concepts are divine and are from up above the sky.

But you – a staunch believer – prefer blood. Why do people of religion prefer blood? Blood here and there and all over the pages of history.

Men, in general, are animals. All the wars were waged because of their egos, greed and lust. Sometimes they battled in the name of religion and other times in the name of land.

All the current affairs are catastrophic because of men. Here and there. Be it a guy with a gun in New Zealand Or Dick in Iraq or Rumsfeld with his WMDs or a whole Military Junta looking for blood and blood money all the time. Men.

Besides, we have our own existential crises. We hush things. A kid is raped; hush. A woman is raped; hush. Raped and killed; hush hush.

So, we reject. We reject the domestic violence bill. Rulers have a whole nation to exploit. Military has unidentified people to exploit. What do common men have? Homes. Women and kids at home. So, rejected. No need to report or curb domestic violence.

Council of Islamic Ideology (CII), which is neither Islamic nor Ideological; has all the expired and irrelevant minds sitting to discuss the fate of women and kids. This council has no women but it decides their fate. Such a pity.

Ideally speaking, these expired old minds should be discarded. ASAP. The illiterates with no modern and developmental education should never be part of any council.

Anyhow. Here we are. In a domestic blood bath. Where women and kids are found in morgues. With the expectation that they will be safe in the Hereafter, (not in graves though) we say our goodbyes.

But you, not-my-friend, with Oryaniat in your mind, Qamaraniat in your words and Abbasiat in your intellect, you are the scum of this part of the world. That’s why we are poor and pathetic in comparison to the world.

Now let us come to the institutions.

As I always say, the curse of this country is the establishment; both military and civil. The CSPs of Islamabad always make a mockery of themselves as soon as there is a crisis. The lady from PSP went to the crime scene. Had a photo session. Said some loud words. No gloves or forensic gear. That’s it. Job done. Well done.

Twitter and Instagram have made these dumb people crazy. They just want to stay relevant all the time with lectures and photos and photographers. The result: see their actual postings. What are they delivering to the public? How good is their reputation? Or how bad?

Islamabad has the finest CSPs in Twitter Town. One after another. Noting and putting up. Taking charge. And delivering shit by rotating the fan at its fullest.

Well, well. Mesmerizing. With innocent dead bodies, with character certifications in high demand, with sensational murder stories, drugs and weapons; we are living in a dark world of errors.

Errors. Where religion is in law, judiciary, lectures, PM’s words, military morale, and everywhere; yet there is no justice.

Errors. When CII is trusted with domestic violence bill when no member of CII is a representative of women.

Errors. When irrelevant and dumb bureaucracy is more active on Twitter than at their desk.

Errors. When victim blaming comes before anything else. When character is demanded from a mutilated dead body. When empathy is dependent on religion and character of the deceased.

Errors.

We did this. We made it this way. Fake blasphemy charges can lead you to jail for a decade. 23 strikes on a woman with a knife can get you released in 3.5 years. But hush. Rapists are hushed with their rapes. Kids are buried. Women are buried. Tombstones are erected.

Funeral and Fateha should be for the ones living here in the dark world of errors.

There must be hangings. Capital punishments. For all the men who killed women. For all the men who raped kids and women. That’s it. A country should get rid of such monsters without wasting money on their survival in jails and prisons.

Just hang them after a speedy and transparent trial. Get rid of them. Courts must provide verdicts within a span of 3 months.

But laws. We have different laws for different classes. You can kill and get away with it OR you can kill and be punished. There are laws for both. The debate on it may lead to blasphemy.

I don’t have anything else to say but to beat the old drum again and again. It’s hard to be a woman anywhere in the world but it’s hardest to be one in South Asia. And Pakistan is a living hell. Sometimes, I feel, those girls who are aborted before they are born, are lucky. Yes, you can beat my words and my sick mind.

But you are sick.

Your society is sick.

Your homes are sick.

Your culture is sick.

Your schools are sick.

Your religious halls and madrassahs are sick.

Your past is sick. Your present is sick.

You are existing in an existential crisis and your whole existence is sick.

Not all men but all men are sick. Because one way or the other, we are part of the problem.

P.S. All the ladies out there, please do not trust men in such vulnerable times in a sick society. If you are afraid and alone, join other ladies. Talk to them. Don’t put your trust and weakness in a random chat or a rendezvous or a soon-to-be-asshole. Have your own club where men are not allowed. Keep us away for your own good.

Letter for M.

I have been writing a letter for the last few days, so was away. A letter for M. After failing – inside and outside the court – I tried again to make a way for M but obviously, there are hurdles. There are villains. It’s a family. Pretending to be Corleons but not. One is a law-man (a DSP), yet not a law abiding citizen at all. He once used his position against the court orders. I could make it hard for him but I didn’t. Because this is personal. Strictly personal and hence strictly fair. There cannot be a foul play from my side. There never was. Not before, not during, and not after. But I am at the explaining-end because I am the alienated-parent. I started writing and it went on. 11 pages. Single spacing. 11 font size. I could still go on and on and on to make my point but the point is you cannot make a point at all. When everyone on the other side has their eyes closed and their ears shut, you cannot make a point. So, I was threatened. Again. With death threats. With people following me and stuff. Pretty bogus. It’s been 8 years and no one has laid a hand on me and it is very very disappointing. Anyway, I have completed the letter. It’s harsh at places and polite at other times. M is my daughter. But it’s not like that. She has created me in fact. She was born and I was reborn. She has made me, me. She has given me words. She has given me blood to bleed. She has given me pain to nurture. And she has told me how to wait and how to embrace. While I was writing the letter and avoiding the state; women were bleeding. Women were being shot. Being beheaded. Being killed. Being raped. Being humiliated to the extent one cannot even imagine. At one point is an urge to see my daughter. I remember the meetup in court in 2014 after 16 months of pleading – inside and outside the court. Finally, I was able to meet M and she was unable to recognize me. Imagine this. The person who means the most to you, doesn’t recognize you. Anyway. The letter is written. For the purpose of making a point. Points. And for a purpose to be on the record. For her. For them. For everyone.

Won’t Let That Pass

Still. Victim blaming. Not someone ordinary, but the Prime Minister of Pakistan.

You know how much we have progressed in the last two decades? Let me elaborate.

4 regimes back, the President (direct military dictator) said that women get raped in Pakistan to settle abroad. He’s settled abroad though. No pun.

4 regimes later, the Prime Minister (indirect military stooge) says that men get tempted because of women and their clothes.

So, here we are. Sick. Frustrated. Desperate. Absolutely unconscious.

Look at the recent events. A boy was was blackmailed and raped by a 70-year old molvi. Then there is another case of gang-rape of a delivery boy in Islamic University. No female is involved, yet it’s the clothes.

Maybe it’s the beards? Who knows?

Yes, we cannot generalize. Rape has no specific demographics. But madrassahs and their molvis are the hub of rapists. On one hand, they chant slogans in the streets regarding religion. On the other hand, they are the ugliest blasphemers who rape kids in sacred halls. In mosques. In homes. On prayer mats. Using the same hands with which they hold the Verses.

Yet, they roam free. A rare event takes them to the police station and then they are free again. To rape. Again and again. Without mercy and without any fear of the Hereafter which they sell to us all the time.

Sometimes, I feel like they know there is no Hereafter. There is only here. Them and their lifestyle and their filthy existence.

Do you know why and how rape happens?

It’s not what Imran Khan has said at all. Imran Khan is a misogynist and an apologist with zero sense on a lot of topics. I wish he should have let that question pass. Better to shut up then to vomit.

Rape happens when you have unquestioned and undue power. It happens in dictatorial environment.

It happens when a molvi knows he can keep the kid past evening. It happens when a teacher far off knows that he can beat the hell out of a kid and no one will complain. It happens when a man knows that he can rip a woman apart and no one will care. It happens when a man knows that he/she will bear it secretly. It happens when a man knows he/she has nowhere to go. It happens anywhere when the situation is not democratic but dictatorial.  In a democratic environment, rape will have lesser chances.

The ugliest cases of rape and child molestations have been found inside sacred halls. Be it any religion. Yogis and temples have their own stories. Monks have their own. Priests and churches have their own. Molvis and Madrassahs have their own. All examples where one man (or men) have absolute power over others.

I am not targeting religion. But the religiosity is too weak to be defended at times. And when the spokespersons of the religion are men like Mufti Aziz and Imran Khan; you are in deep hell. The guts they have are dangerous.

He had a girlfriend. He had a daughter from said girlfriend. The girlfriend went to court to prove his fatherhood. The fatherhood was proved, but the father eloped. Today, that father, tells the whole nation that a man is tempted by a woman’s dressing.

Someday, he will say that men are tempted by kids. As young as newborn. And animals. Cats. Hens. And women. Dead or alive. On bed or in grave. Men are tempted.

The other day, people were saying that I was defending prostitution. No, I wasn’t. But I do believe that prostitution is a buffer. It is because there is a demand in the market. It is what it is and it has been since ages. Perhaps the oldest profession in the world. You do whatever, this profession is going to stay beyond you. So, the developed nations have taken it as it is, and have made laws accordingly.

The countries where prostitution is legal, have lesser rape, sex trafficking and sex crimes.

The countries where drugs are legal, have lesser drug abuse, trafficking, and bootlegging.

Google this and read some research-based articles. But I know, we are too behind to even comprehend these things.

But who can shut our Prime Minister on this? This is not the way a PM should utter nonsense. This is not the way to talk about half of the population. This is no excuse to rape. Victim blaming should end. At least from the men in charge of the town.

We are yet to be born. We have yet to become conscious. We are still centuries behind in basic human development. Roaming around the lamp for centuries, like moths, and dying. Over and over.

Post Script Notes:
  1. I didn’t mention democracy and dictatorship at state level but in instant environment. Madrassahs and village schools have more of dictatorial environment. Particularly madrassas where molvis have so much power and authority over kids.
  2. Democratic country has nothing to do with it. I clearly stated that you cannot generalize and I also mentioned churches, temples, monasteries (by monks) categorically.
  3. I didn’t say rule of law can eliminate this problem. I mentioned rape has no demographics clearly. Plus, this is exactly the argument that capital punishments won’t resolve this issue (though I believe every convicted rapist must be hanged. Simple.).
  4. Lastly, child rape cases are exceptionally high in Pakistan. Sahil’s report averaged 8 child abuse cases per day last year. 
  5. You all have your ifs and buts. And that exactly is the problem.