Random Numbness – Hated Ideas and Nostalgia

Cold War between America and USSR made the way to space. Just to attack each other’s capital at a distance of 7,816-km through rockets, the two went up in the air. Up, up, Until space. And then moon. Cold War is the reason that world is getting into the extended universe today. Interstellar.

Capitalism is the reason people have stuff. So much stuff, inside and out. Cars. Mobiles. Laptops. Clothes. Shoes. And hundreds of unnecessary things. Capitalism has offered cheap fast food 24/7. Globalization and McDonalization. You can tap your screen and anything will be at your doorstep at a pretty competitive price. The connected world through smartphones and internet at almost ZERO charges (as you are the product in such cases) is a blessing (in disguise) of capitalism. No more expensive calls or long awaited letters.

Colonialism had its own givings. Rails reached all across the world from UK within three decades only because of colonialism. The tracks were constructed in Africa and Asia which failed to expand after colonialism collapsed. Afghanistan has none even today.

Colonialism is also a reason that world have maps today. When Europeans sailed into oceans to find and conquer new worlds, they made maps. East India Company gave India its first accurate and comprehensive map. The same colonizers found heritage sites like Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro which were nothing of concern for locals.

Colonialists came with technology. They built dams and dug canals. Made new cities with new businesses and banks. Some of the giant cities of South Asia were established / expanded by the British Raj; including Karachi, Calcutta and Mumbai. Our tourism hotspot – Murree – has also a colonial history. Every major city of South Aisa has Raj’s monuments, schools, universities, hospitals, roads, bridges, tracks, museums, libraries, etc.

Spanish Colonialists went to North and South America and made their ways there. All the colonizers were cruel and unsympathetic, no disagreement. They annihilated some of the oldest tribes in America, Australia, Africa and New Zealand. There is not a single New Zealander aboriginal alive today.

New Zealand didn’t even exist for humans as no one reached there till 800 years ago. Today, we have Kiwis who lose finals in Cricket and Lord of the Rings.

Darwin and his theory of evolution also resulted through colonization. He was part of a sailing mission to find and conquer new world. European colonizers used to set voyages with scientists, botanists, etc. So came Darwin in one of the voyages of Royal Navy. He collected and studied species across the world for years and thus evolved Darwinism.

A thousand years back, Asians ruled the world, Europeans didn’t count, and America didn’t exist. People feared the giant armies of Asian Empires, particularly of Arab, Turkish, and Chinese. But they were least innovative and had no thirst of finding new worlds beyond oceans. They just wanted to rule Asia.

For example, gunpowder was innovated in China. For 600 years, it was used in fireworks only, and no one thought to use it as a weapon. But then, one day, Constantinople’s walls were bombarded by gunpowder by Turks. Fateh!

Anyway, when Europe was thirsting around the world and finding America and Australia, Asia was busy fighting Asians. When Europe was rising from ashes with ships, warships, companies, banks, royal armies, scientists, innovation, rails, and technology; Asians had swords and elephants. Soon, Asian giants succumbed to mere couple of hundreds of Europeans. A few intelligent and cunning colonizers conquered the rich world of Indus and Ganges.

Such is the history of the world. Cruel.

No one talks about the Russian soldier who was wounded in snow when Napoleon came. We don’t even know the history of common people and their sufferings. We know the history of emperors and empires only. Only fiction based on true events told us some actual stories. War & Peace of Leo Tolstoy told us that the wounded soldier staring the sky was Andrei Nikolayevich Bolkonsky. Relax! It’s a fictional character. Just like Zia of A Case of Exploding Mangoes. Pun intended!

After all, fiction is the powerful imagination of the unheard.

Greed made every single product around us. Capitalism made this whole world of today. We were going to be a century back (comparatively, not genuinely) without capitalism. Wars made new empires. Empires made nations. Nations bacame states. States give us goosebumps today with looney-tunes on parade days.

And then the system brainwashes you. Let me give you an example.

Mass transit is a system for public. A service. There can be debates and disagreements but the state makes you think that it’s a burden on nation. The service is not generating enough revenues and is running on government support on taxpayers money. And you forget, you are the taxpayer and it’s a service for you. You keep your eyes close on huge useless military budgets. You have no questions for fencing and unfencing of the border. You have no issue on hundreds of billions utilized on houses of generals, governors, ministers, bureaucrats and their luxury kitchens and cars and roads to their homes; but, metro is a burden. And you debate these burdens with your friends. This is the system and you just keep on playing as a pawn for the queen.

Nothing catchy in homeland. Any homeland It’s just the business of the riches that makes you a patriot. Or a traitor.

By the way, are you a fan of Shahrukh Khan? Haven’t seen a human-brand bigger than him. The tunes of his songs takes us back to late 90s and early 00s. Nostalgic compositions of A. R. Rehman, the finest one after R. D. Burman.

Easy! It’s Random Numbness. SRK can have a cameo appearance anytime.

90s had its nostalgic charm. Telephones were there but no smartphones. Computers but no laptops. CDs and DVDs were the game changers but VCRs and casettes were alive. Marriages were organized mostly on streets. And 80s. 70s. 40s. 1800s. As Sylvia Plath wrote, “I’m nostalgic for a place that doesn’t exist. I’m homesick for lips I’ve never kissed.“

Nothing serious. His Highness didn’t post anything new for last some weeks. So, here is this Random Numbness on ideas / ideologies we hate but these ideas / ideologies shaped us. And the world around us.

Ending this with John Lennon:

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you’re so clever and classless and free.
But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be.

After Murree

PM: What’s this new mess?

Fawad: I lost the count at 100,000. We were doing really great.

PM: 22 is the count idiot. And you?

Sheikh: I am an interior minister. That snow is not my concern.

PM: Trains were not your concern either. You broke the news, right?

Sheikh: Habitually.

PM: Okay, so what’s your take?

Sheikh: Had an omellete.

PM: Not in-take. Take on the matter?

Sheikh: I am interior…

PM: Enough of that crap! You are as much interior as Qureshi is exterior. You are more in the information ministry to stay alive. Now, tell me?

Sheikh: This happens everywhere. Just like train accidents. People die in the snow every winter. And people have died in the previous tenures of PMLN too.

PM: That’s thoughtful. Give me some empathy. I need to be empathetic.

Gill: A little empathy and people will blackmail you like they did last year with the dead bodies in Balochistan.

PM: True, Gill, but I need words to handle dead bodies. They don’t even decompose in the cold.

Fawad: Martyrdom. Give them shahadat. Badges of glorious death.

PM: But they went to enjoy the snow. They were tourists not fighters.

Gill: Remember the APS kids? They were also students in a school. Tags like shahadat and martyrdom keep the actual questions of security lapse in a cantonment away.

PM: Yes, people are stupid.

Fawad: And they died of their stupidity.

Sheikh: No disagreement.

Gill: Offer them martyrdom.

Shibli: In the name of Pakistan and tourism.

PM: That’s poetic, Shibli! Keep that up.

Fawad: I need to tweet. Tell me where we stand now!

PM: I will tweet. You all will retweet. Blame the previous regimes when you can’t handle anymore.

Gill: Noted sir.

PM: So, here it is: they laid their lives for the prosperous future of tourism in Pakistan. They are shaheeds. They sacrificed their present for our better future. When you were sleeping, they were…

Fawad: Don’t romanticize much. It wasn’t Kargil.

Sheikh: Can we call this collateral damage?

Shibli: It was neither a missed drone on a village nor a CTD action in Sahiwal.

PM: A verse again, Shibli. Keep that up.

Shibli: Thank you sir.

Gill: Unlike father, unliked son.

PM: Ok, this meeting is over. I need to snort… snore. I will tweet and you will retweet and let the administration do what they can do.

Gill: How long will we keep on answering for every death? I am tired of this. Balochistan, Karachi, Sahiwal, Sialkot, Islamabad, now this. Even rapes are somehow our responsibility. We need to come up with a solution for all the upcoming deaths and rapes.

Shibli: Like Deputy Commissioners on Twitter.

Fawad: Or like boys coming out as heroes in every tragedy, even when they are part of the tragedy.

Sheikh: Don’t cross the line Fawad. You sat in their lap, under the table, over the table and everywhere.

Fawad: And you Sheikh? You came out of the pit on your own?

Shibli: No need to fight. We have our arguments and we have dead bodies too.

PM: Again, poetic! But let’s end this. It’s too cold here.

Gill: Yes, let’s disagree in agreement. Let’s tweet and handle this on Twitter.

PM: Wait for my words on Twitter. And let me not be blackmailed.

Tweet: Tourists in Murree should have checked the weather. They should have gone for snowfall in the Summer when it’s easier. But, let’s pray for the martyred souls who have sacrificed their lives for a prosperous tourism future of Pakistan. They are shaheeds and shaheeds are always alive.

Brief History of Religion

Rule 1, on page 1 of the book of war is: Do not march on Moscow. Napoleon did. Hitler did. Both perished. But Napoleon’s march and failure gave us Tolstoy’s ‘War & Peace’ at least. I wrote this because its winter and nothing else.

You know, we – homo sapiens – have a long history. Longer than the holy books of all the religions revealed to us. You may not believe in evolution – or devolution – but you cannot ignore other facts. Yet, you ignore.

Similarly, we have a long history of religions. Now for a second, forget what you have been told and let me give you a glimpse of religion from Yuval Noah Harari’s “Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind” along-with some extra information and my own insights. “Religion can thus be defined as a system of human norms and values that is founded on a belief in a superhuman order.”

Imagine the sapiens evolving – gaining cognitive revolution – and there is no religion. Then, with miseries and queries, comes animism; the earliest form of religion. The earliest of the religions were based on plants, deities and rocks.

Gradually, animism evolved into polytheism, where there were gods and other powerful entities. “Animists thought that humans were just one of many creatures inhabiting the world. Polytheists, on the other hand, increasingly saw the world as a reflection of the relationship between gods and humans.”

Then came religions of monotheism, which we call Abrahamic religions as well. From Judaism to Christianity to Islam. But before that, remember there was a godless religion too: Buddhism. With time, this religion has evolved too, but Siddhartha didn’t focus on God. His focus was humans and their miseries and how to achieve nirvana. It is another story that 99% of Buddhists never attain nirvana.

Anyway, back to monotheism. Monotheist religions derived from one another. Yet, these three are rarely in bloodless agreement. With the power in the hands of monotheists for the last many centuries, polytheism has an image of an outdated and ignorant concept. However, as Harari has said, the central idea of polytheism is pretty much the same as monotheism with the concept of The One.

One of the differences in the history of the two – monotheism and polytheism – is that polytheist empires in the past didn’t force people to convert and monotheist empires had bloodbaths on conversions.

As Harari further elaborates that Rome was polytheist with different gods for different purposes; and then came Emperor Constantine. “In the 300 years from the crucifixion of Christ to the conversion of Emperor Constantine”. And with that, and a brief history ahead, we had Vatican inside Rome.

Apart from polytheism and monotheism, there is dualism. Good vs bad. Almost all the monotheist religions are based on dualism with the concept of God vs Satan as constant. This one is a little amusing because God is always in need of humans – and mass crowds – to have a victory against Satan under this concept. Yes, there can be so many interpretations but let’s stay macro here.

“Countless Christians, Muslims and Jews have gone so far as to imagine that the good God even needs our help in its struggle against the Devil, which inspired among other things the call for jihads and crusades.”

Another amusing concept in dualism is of “order” as Harari has explained. If evil throws a bomb on good – or vice versa – the rules don’t change. The law of gravity, the law of nature, the law of fission, and all other related laws of chemistry and physics don’t change. They remain the same. God doesn’t change the rules and neither do the followers expect Him to. But they do pray, obviously.

May lightning strike everyone except me. Right? Right.

Zoroastrianism, another religion, is specifically based on dualism. It’s hard to digest for believers of monotheist religions, but most of the concepts followed in the three major monotheist religions were pretty much introduced by Zoroastrianism. Daily prayers to fasting to other rituals.

Now if you look closely, every new religious concept has some mingling of the previous one. Let me quote Harari again exactly:

“In fact, monotheism, as it has played out in history, is a kaleidoscope of monotheist, dualist, polytheist and animist legacies, jumbling together under a single divine umbrella. The average Christian believes in the monotheist God, but also in the dualist Devil, in polytheist saints, and in animist ghosts. Scholars of religion have a name for this simultaneous avowal of different and even contradictory ideas and the combination of rituals and practices taken from different sources. It’s called syncretism. Syncretism might, in fact, be the single great world religion.”

You can further sense the sensibilities by comparing football to religions as Harari has compared. Defined rules. Defined time. Good vs bad. You vs them. Everyone running after the ball. From fun to serious business to depression. You can relate to the same with cricket.

That’s pretty much the history of religion. His Highness will tell you what he believes, but first, a historical story:

A Man once had a vision and He wanted to change the world. He had a Book which He wrote over the years. He had to leave His city and He lived in poverty but He never gave up on people and His ideas of equality for every human being. Gradually, people adopted his ideas and a mass population stood after Him. From one city to another to the entire country and then the whole region, His ideas spread. He was no more to see the vastness of His ideas or His empire but His book lived and remained as one of the holiest books in history. His followers took His ideas to new heights and the whole world was under it once, but gradually, it lost momentum and fell into pieces.

This is the story of Socialism. “He” was Karl Marx. The book is “Das Kapital”. You didn’t get it right, yes.

Aren’t these religions too? Socialism. Capitalism. Communism. Liberalism. Medicine. Physics. Commerce. Aren’t these followed more than the other mainstream religions? Too broad. Seems like everything is religion. Money too.

I had my own journey. From extreme right views to extreme left and I’ve hated both equally at times. Disgusted by the existence of my own ideas. But what is the purpose? Millions came and millions died and everyone is at the losing end. The rich, rulers, kings, emperors, presidents, CEOs, and  overall, the elite remained elite.

That was deviation.

Every day I wake up as a man of religion and every night I sleep as an agnostic; and next day is the same day. The day starts with certain prayers, while at night, the exact opposite ideas numb my mind. Sometimes, comparing the both, I shudder when the later part of the day looks more sensible. Still, I offer Namaz at random times in random places but I don’t follow them ritually. I don’t leave Jumma or Roza, but then I leave everything. I consult Quran and Hadith time to time and other times, I don’t.

I used to cry in duas and then I stopped. Now I don’t ask anymore. And it works better. I do things better when I rely on myself. In sports. At work. In getting things done. In red-tapism. And in delivering perfectly lined yorkers.

But we are weak. We humans have no answer from where we came and where we will end up. I know you know the answers from your interpretations; I know that too. Not talking about that. And what about the others? The majority?

In the end, you need religion, be it anyone. It gives you hope and strength, nonetheless. It gives you patience to sustain. It gives you complete imaginary peace of meeting your loved dead ones. It gives you a lot.

But what does it take in return?

Read between the lines.

#SakiNama 

Random Numbness (Dec 2021)

You are stupid.

Have you ever realized this? Things around you – society, norms, values and interpretation of the religion – are here to make and keep you stupid. And you hardly ever disappoint.

This government came in power with the promise that the foreigners and expats will come back for jobs. The other day, Fawad Chaudhary was proudly tweeting the number of people who went abroad in the last 3 years. He is expecting more drain (yes, I didn’t use “brain”) in the next couple of years.

He’s happy. Because he’s in power. You are happy. Because you are stupid.

Similarly, while everyone is pious and guarding the religion, which is always in danger, sins are on the rise. Sins are systematic. Systemic. For example, last week two BS-17 employees were suspended by KMC because they asked for Rs.1 lac in bribery from a woman to not demolish her home. When she could only pay Rs.25,000, they made her an offer. Sexual favors in return for her home. They thought they are Godfather and made her an offer she won’t refuse.

Where on earth do you get such flexibilities? You pay in cash. Or you pay in bed. The erectipious (erect and pious) society, ready to kill and be killed in the name of religion, has all the flexibilities to offer.

This level of piety is from the top echelons of government machineries right to the bottom of Gujjar Nullah.

Everything is fine. The machinery is working. It’s constantly being greased.

You were told that the PM-in-making will make a corruption-free state. He comes with a tasbeeh and a team of ex-corrupts who have been fighting for the last 3 years against ex-corrupts and you are cheerful. Because you are stupid.

You were told that the PM is on a drive against corruption. Then the corruption of Generals is revealed in the form of Pizzas and business empires and real estates and Covid-19. The PM rejects the AGP report. His drive against corruption is itself corrupt. Like Chairman NAB. But your views remain intact; just like your stupidity.

You are told that the government is going against all land mafias. Nullah homes and middle-class residences are demolished while the PM’s home is regularized cheaply and Bahria and DHA continue to  stand. Erected. But you are content. Not because you are biased. Not saying that. But because you are plain stupid.

You are told that your religion is the best and it’s the religion of peace but the guardians of the faith kill and you get confused. Is there need of blood? You get confused. Then the PM comes and tells you that liberals are “khooni” and you get your answer without questioning how the liberals are khooni when the blood is on the hands and tongues of the guardians themselves. But you have no further question and no curiosity to search on your own, and hence, you stay stupid.

You are told that there is only one punishment of blasphemy: blood. People are killed. Then, MAYBE a few of you question what the actual punishment is. Then you realize there is no punishment. Because there is no blasphemy. What is blasphemy? Sweet blasphemy? All the big ideas which have shaped the modern world; were blasphemous ones to begin with. The crowd doesn’t matter. The mind does. But, for you, blasphemy matters. Humans don’t. Because, you are blasphemously stupid and you have no other skill than theological interpretation and re-interpretation. An interpretation which is not even your own.

What is interpretation? Sects. Sub-sects. Until there is another religion altogether. Religion into religion into religion. Like dreams of inception. You pick and choose. Then everyone picks and chooses. And then all are against all. Everyone becomes blasphemous to the other. A violent mob is nurtured in this environment and then humans are killed and burned and charcoaled in the name of Islam and in the name of the Prophet.

Sialkot is just one recent episode. You have seen and done mob lynching before. You have shuddered before condemning it. You have been afraid. Deep inside, you fear for yourself and your family. You have no way of knowing who a closet fanatic is. These extremists; these people who kill; these people who lynch without thought, without verification; outwardly, they look like you and me.  

Who knows what your kids are going to be like? Maybe your kids will suffer. Maybe they will be brave enough to voice out their anger and then unfortunate enough to be killed. Dead bodies with broken fingers and broken ribs and broken dreams. But you don’t think that far because you are too stupid and too cowardly to be that farsighted.

Satan was born in the house of Allah.

Musa was born in the house of the Pharaoh.

Expect a mind being born in your home and your stupid-self shouldering his/her dead body. This is where we are going.

You think merging in the crowd will guarantee your safety. You think stupidity and denial is the only solution to a long and peaceful personal life. You think chanting the slogans of the crowd will keep your life afloat. You think the stink won’t stink if you yourself live in trash. What rubbish!

As Fahd Husain wrote “Then, just like that, it’s over. And done. And dus­t­­ed. Because, you see, no one is really responsible. Or everyone is. And when everyone is, no one really is.” Hallelujah!

This is the last century of religion to be honest. Humanity has survived long before there was any religion and it is going to survive that way with advancements in science, medicine and technology. The questions which once needed some explanations to satisfy one’s self are evaporating. We know the reasons behind lunar eclipse, earthquakes, tsunamis, deaths, famine, etc. We know more than our ancestors in these areas at least. They relied on myths and religion to have answers; we don’t need to.

Religion and faith should be a personal matter. But, hate mongering and division in the name of religion and killing in the name of religion needs to be stopped on a national level. The Government needs to take responsibility to curb religious extremism and for a tolerant and diverse counter-narrative to emerge. And individuals need to take responsibility to search for answers; to question; to stop blindly following.

Basically, you need to stop being stupid.

His Highness knows the counter-arguments. It is a long debate and it has certain merits and demerits. But my thesis is… hush! No! Your mind is too fragile to read that.

So, another time. Maybe.

His Highness, is after all, Zarathustra.

Martial Races

After 1857 Mutiny, British India started to recruit specific people in their military based on their history of faithfulness. Punjabis (including Indian Punjab) and Pashtuns were on top and were recruited with favoritism as they stood faithful to English against their own fellow citizens during the mutiny.

This is the base of theory of martial race. Or martial race theory. 

After the mutiny, Bengalis were ignored. They were considered ‘weak’ for military by the Britain and were ranked the lowest. They were considered good with pen and bad with military service – or slavery so to speak. No wonder, All India Muslim League was formed in Dhaka and not in Western India (today’s Pakistan).  

After the mutiny, the percentage of Punjabi and Pashtun soldiers gradually increased in the colonial army. By 1929, 62% of soldiers in the army were Punjabi.  After Independence in 1947, Pakistan military had a share of 72% Punjabis. Bengalis percentage in army never exceeded 9% from 1947 to 1971, even though they had around 55% share of the total population. This was the discriminatory system which crashed in 1971.

Recently, as reported by Guardian, records of 320,000 Punjabi soldiers from WW-I were uncovered from the depths of Lahore Museum. The data of these soldiers is being uploaded on www.punjabww1.com. Data of Sialkot, Jalandhar and Ludhiana districts have already been uploaded. This compilation and digitization of data is interesting.

Coming back to martial race, after Independence of 1947, Pakistan inherited the same military with the same unsaid rules. Punjabis and Pashtuns on top over other races and provinces. This is one of the reasons behind Fall of Dhaka in 1971. The discrimination, monopolization, and hate was embedded within the politics, as well as military.

The martial race theory was a comprehensive and long-term recruitment plan of Englishmen to rule the country through local countrymen. We all know General Dyer and Michael O’Dwyer as the men behind Jallianwala Bagh Massacre of 1919. But these two men didn’t fire a single bullet. Do you know who did? Punjabis did. That day, Punjabis in uniform killed Punjabi civilians. That day, Indians killed Indians. That’s why I always say militarism is dumb. It makes you a complete duffer and you don’t even think before firing a bullet on your own.

Let me elaborate with another scenario.

A sepoy belongs to lower economic strata of the society. He is less educated and is in the military for financial stability. He is sent on duty within the country. And his usual targets are men / women of lower economic strata of the society. He attacks men of his own class. He attacks houses like his own. It’s like Jallianwala Bagh in mini-series of a soldier’s life.

This current military system, which is in Pakistan, India and almost everywhere around the world, is inherited from Britain. Medals, ranks, uniforms, divisions, everything is English. They are all trained the same way. They are recruited, brainwashed, and systematically made dumb.

The men in military embrace militarism as their religion. No questions asked. No second thoughts. No consciousness before firing a bullet. No “conscientious objection”. Just like the soldiers who were trained for Jallianwala Bagh massacre.

When a solider kills his father in the line of duty in a movie, you get goosebumps. Isn’t it?

It’s a long topic. It’s debatable too. But you need to think. Ponder. Ask. Decline. Resist. Why rules are forced on you? Why you need to accept the standards already set?

“Why not” is the counter to every “Why”. Why not?

Your name, your race, your caste, your religion, your color, your belief and your subconscious is already done and decided without a single uninterrupted-input from your own self. What left is resurrection. Question yourself. Question your beliefs. Embrace your doubts. And explore.

His Highness was a rightist once. He was in absolute hate of all those who believed otherwise. He was in support of violence over nationalism and religion. He used to get goosebumps too. A loss of cricket match used to hit like a bullet. Embarrassing, I know. But then, a decade back, things changed. Literature changed. Perspectives changed. Everything changed. His Highness will write on the journey of change another time. Till then, embrace your subconscious, doubts, and dark questions – not in Freudian way though.

Judicial Brothel

Saad Rizvi comes out. Ali Wazir remains inside. That’s the whole judicial narrative of Pakistan.

Banned is not banned anymore. It’s welcomed by the impotents in power. NAP, however, is trashed.

By threatening the state with a couple of dead bodies, you can become a democratic entity. This is the message and this is the system.

This is also the narrative by the establishment – since the beginning. That’s why the majority got tired of minority and parted ways in 1971. Good for them. Happy 50 years of The Departed.

This is also the message of Gulzar Ahmed, Chief Justice of Pakistan, who stood shamelessly in front of the audience – including the unashamed Saqib Nisar – with his back to the brave beacon of hope we lost; Asma Jahangir.

Noor Mukadam was murdered brutally. Everyone knows the culprit. We all know the gruesome details of the murder. However, the judiciary is yet to give a verdict. Meanwhile, the killer is making joke of the judiciary in every hearing.

But CJ says he can’t be dictated and his judiciary is the best. Shit uttering shit in the most nonsensical way.

This judiciary is a brothel. If you have money, you can buy time and release. Raymond Davis was escorted by General Pasha himself on orders of this same judicial brothel.

Rao Anwar

Ehsan Ullah Ehsan

Sahiwal Massacre

APS justice

Model Town

12 May Karachi

Baldia factory

I bet you know more than me about this judicial brothel and its mockery of common people’s miseries.

So, Kurd was right. Absolutely right. Like Asma Jahangir was right.

It’s not a battle of left or right. It’s a battle for right. For justice.

And the hen who laid these rotten eggs is military.

This military has made this hung parliament to use these pawns accordingly.

This military has made these stalwarts in both government and in opposition to make a show.

This military has made these TLP, TTP, JuD and similar other outfits.

This military has all this set for a show for you to be busy in dumb discussions while they keep on making empires in the form of businesses, DHAs, islands in Australia, Pizza in America, and estates in Saudia.

While you keep on getting goosebumps. On music. On movies. On martyrdom which is a marketing technique and USP of military business.

This judiciary is just part of an extended business. That’s why they can’t do anything. They are told to let Davis go and the let go of Davis. They are told to ignore Rao and Rao is ignored. They are told to unlisten Ehsan and Ehsan is muted.

Now, you can hate His Highness. Because that was all too blunt for your fragile egos.

Relax. You are not their kid. They don’t care about you. You are not loved. You are not even needed. Embrace that. And evolve from here onwards.

TLP-PTI Season 2021

2017: TLP is standing for the Prophet PBUH and we are standing with them. Close the roads. Burn the papers. Bring the capital down. Throw the government out. [After the Break: Rs.1,000/- each]

2018 A: No comments. No participation. Ok, burn but we are not burning with you. Elections are ahead and we want power not protests.

2018 B: No, not anymore. We are ruling Islamabad now and we will not let them burn. Capital won’t come down.

2020: They are against peace of the society. Must be banned. Banned.

2021: They are blackmailing the state. We are Muslims and we are for Islam while they are also Muslims but they are not for Islam. Let me rephrase…

4 days back: They are on a mission against the country and funds are coming from abroad. It’s a conspiracy against Pakistan.

3 days back: We are in talks. Things are going ok.

2 days back: They are funded by India. They are Indian funded traitors working against Pakistan using Islam for their vested interests.

Today: We have an agreement. All is good for now. No, we cannot tell you details of the agreement now. Will do it in appropriate time. No, they are not Indians anymore.

Next season in next season.

Conclusion: Things would have been way better if judgement of Qazi Faez Esa could have been read with an open mind and implemented accordingly.

Veena! You are dismissed

How embarrassing, Veena! You always prepare for viva even when you know you have cheated the exams. That’s an unsaid rule.

Just because of your interview with Badami, the 5th Generation Warfare is in danger. The whole marketing campaign is down. Funds are wasted.

After exposing deep cleavage in India, you have exposed the deep state in Pakistan. This is deep shit!

This ain’t a tattoo you can remove. This is not front cover of FHM. This is Twitter. This is our warzone.

Now, in order to keep the legacy intact, and in the name of patriotism, and survival of the nation from uninformed and un-uniformed bloody civilians, and Indians, and Afghans, and the dolphins in the Arabian Sea; you are hereby dismissed from the services.

Till further orders from the incompetent authority.

Veena! On a personal note, see the current state machinery closely. Fawad Chaudhary comes and dismisses Sheikh Rasheed. Sheikh Rasheed comes with a different press conference. Then both tells a completely different story. Then they correlate. Then they make a new story.

And when they can’t handle it anymore, they put it on India. Simple. Switch hit it is. Why couldn’t you do that?

You didn’t know Azmat Saeed? Take a break and Google. Start coughing when you don’t know. Fall. Pretend a stroke. Play it like you played it in Big Boss.

No wonder you were dismissed from there too.

It’s not about position. Not about enjoyment. Because it’s not a position. It’s a narrative. You don’t enjoy it as long as you want to. You keep it inside forever.

State Must Be Secular

That is why the state must be secular. The heroes of 2017 are villains today. Why? Religion. Interestingly, both the sides are religious and safeguarding Islam. Safeguarding Islam? From? Does Islam need your safeguarding?

No. It’s you who need Islam to sell your products. It’s a marketing tactic.

What is the meaning of being religious? Pretend! Pretend that you are faithful to the global Muslim cause. What is the global Muslim cause? Muslims against Muslims is the only effect I see.

Back in 2017, TLP was “apnay log”. Today, they are Indian agents.

Back in 2017, TLP was working for Namoos-e-Risalat. Today, they are working for RAW.

Back in 2017, they were given Rs.1,000 per agitator. Today, they are getting bullets.

Back in 2017, Military declined to take any action. Today, Rangers is posted in the whole province for two months.

Back in 2017, they were proxy political outfit of Military. Today, they are exactly the same but on the negative side of the Likert Scale.

Back in 2017, Sheikh Rasheed, Shah Mehmood Qureshi, Tahir ul Qadri, and the whole Military junta was supporting TLP. Imran Khan said some big words – typical of him, don’t mind – in support of them.

Today, vomit is being considered as soup. After all, it’s winter coming.

Some days back, PM Khan got stubborn for some days regarding appointment of new DG ISI. Then he took a u-turn. Classic. Have your heard the audio leak of Late Naeemul Haq? That describes the whole persona of the PM. He is nothing more than that. May be a little less. Or lesser.

Anyway, the state must be secular. Otherwise, it’s going to get deeper into the pit without a solution. First, it will be a Muslim state. Then a Sunni State. Then another division. Another. Another. Until all of us will be non-believers except the ones ruling the state. And we do know very well who is ruling this state in particular. 

Religion is personal. If it’s not personal, its business. A show-off. If it’s at state level, it’s oppressive. State MUST be secular and that is the only future of the world.

All the great ideas were blasphemous once.

This is the chapter – of 150-200 future years perhaps – wherein religion will become nothing more than a deeply personal belief. Today, we have scientific reasons behind earthquakes, cyclones, lunar eclipses, and almost everything. We are going deep into DNA and its modification way beyond our imagination. We keep the data of the whole world in our pockets. Religion is not required the way it was needed 200 years back. We already have many answers.

But to be honest, the unknown things will remain unknown. Who we are? Where are we going? Where were we before here? What do we know after death? Is this all real or a multi-players game?

Belief is necessary after all. We need it to get through deaths, pains, and traumas. We need religion in catastrophic situations when oxygen masks are out in the airplane. To pass. Through the traumatic episode or from the world altogether. But after landing… who cares?

Look around. The opposition of past is acting like the rulers of the past. Everything is opposite. Except one thing that the state has a religion and for that, we can do anything. Properties can be burned. Roads can be blocked. Acid can be used. Bullets can be fired. And blood can be spilled.

It’s a windmill of martyrdom. Again.

The one dying is a martyr. The one killing is a ghazi. Because the state has a religion.

District Development Package (DDP) of Punjab 2021-22

This piece is in response to Mr. Hasaan Khawar, SACM to the Chief Minister Punjab, who has recently tweeted that District Development Package (DDP) is a game-changer for Punjab. Well, it is not a game-changer.

Budget 2020-21 was prepared with mockery in the name of ‘Development’. Punjab – like KPK – has made one of the stupidest budgets (particularly development portfolio) in years.

A quick look.

Hundreds of thousands of new schemes – tagged under DDP – were included in ADP 2021-22 of Punjab; to make parliamentarians happy. Most of these schemes were non-feasible and against the set rules of development criteria.

For example, a school is proposed near another school (instead of revamping the old one) so that the parliamentarian of the region can cut the ribbon of the new building right before the next general elections.

Similarly, a health facility is being established right within the vicinity of a DHQ or Tertiary Hospital. To cut ribbon. Before election.

And even the calculation is messed up. There are around 20 DDP schemes in ADP 2021-22 which are regarding “Establishment of Trauma Centers” across Punjab. The cost of Trauma Center should be same (at least somewhat). But, no. One trauma center is being established for Rs.50 million while another one is being established for Rs.500 million. Same is the case with schools, BHUs, RHCs, roads, etc. There is no homework and there is no planning.

You remember there were talks of “angry parliamentarians” and “forward block” in Punjab during April-May 2021? This DDP was designed to make them happy. Now they all have something to look forward to cut ribbons around the next General Elections.

With these DDP schemes in ADP 2021-22 worth billions of rupees, CM Office of Punjab directed the Administrative Departments and Local Administrations of the province to approve all the schemes below Rs.50 million by July 21st, from Rs.50 to 400 million by July 31st, and above Rs.400 by August 31st. Even if the schemes were non-feasible.

PC-Is (which is a document of a scheme / project with its complete scope of work, costing, financing, etc.) were prepared within days. Copying one PC-I and pasting it to other 100s. Commissioners and Deputy Commissioners approved (originally approved, principally approved, or pathetically approved) schemes in wholesale. One after another. With or without PC-Is. With or without feasibility. With or without availability of lands / sites. Because they had no other direction from the top, and mostly, the bureaucrats have no ground to stand on.  

There is an online portal called SMDP of P&D Board of Punjab. All the Secretaries, Commissioners, and Deputy Commissioners were in race to mark their schemes as “approved” on the portal. They were approving schemes on Eid-ul-Azha days as well. Don’t be surprised. They were approving schemes without DDC / DDWP meetings.

This is Punjab at the moment. With a stick in the arse, bureaucrats were running around the directions of the CM.

What will this huge DDP portfolio lead to?

Billions will be wasted. With unplanned PC-Is and hassled approvals, long-term results are going to be scaring. Ugly structures with repetitive scope of work and with duplication in equipment and HR; Punjab’s development is going to be hurt in the long-run (technically called: MTDF which is the throw-forward to finance these schemes in future).

This is happening in all 32 departments of Punjab, which fall under the “charismatic” leadership of Planning & Development Board.

Do you know what is the difference between Parliamentarians and Bureaucrats? Nothing. One is cream (expired) and the other is power elite. Both with poor IQ and least concern for the general public. Usually hand-in-hand with the tax-payers money being wasted like this.

Let me give you another example.

Consider the land is free. On a 10 marla plot, you can construct a brand new home, with properly furnished baths and bedrooms, at a cost of Rs.1 crore. Rs.1 crore is a huge amount when you make your own home.

Now come to a government dispensary. Again, the land is free. For a one room dispensary with one shelf, a toilet, a couple of doors, and basic furniture; it will cost Rs.1 crore.

A simple single storey building with a couple of rooms, toilets, and a passage; will have a cost of over Rs.5 crores.

Huge briberies from contractor to SDO to XEN to SE to Chief to all the ugly ducklings in and around the Secretariat move in a discreet manner. That’s the only thing that moves from bottom to top in a swift and sincere manner. With huge corruption, even the newly established structures look old and are ready to leak as soon as there’s Monsoon.

News says that development budget of the province has increased from Rs.337 billion in 2020-21 to Rs.560 billion in 2021-22. But it is not development based on feasibility studies. It is just more. More allocations. More releases. More opportunities. More corruption. More generation of wealth. More ribbons. And more everything.