If you guys remember about DDP (District Development Package) that was included in ADP 2021-22 of Punjab – imposed by CM Office without consent / approval from administrative departments – then you must know where we stand today in terms of budgeting.
First, do search “DDP” on this page and you will find a detailed post from last year. That DDP was introduced to reduce the pressure of forward block in PTI that was forming in Punjab last year. That DDP has robbed billions of rupees which have gone to waste. Useless infrastructures were raised with the intention to gain votes by next General Elections.
Objectively speaking, of the total ADP 2021-22 budget of Rs.560 billion, Rs.360 billion were allocated for DDP in Punjab. Of the total 7,122 projects, around 3,600 were DDP which were to be funded in 2-3 years. By the way, of the total Rs.560 billion development budget, Rs.60 billion were for Health Insurance; yes, that’s not even ‘development’.
Anyway, shit happened and they were all sent packing.
With those half built structures erected, new government is not ready to own them. Not all, at least. Some of the useless projects shall be dropped (rightly) and remaining will be funded in piecemeal for years and years. But who will be answerable for the billions already spent and lost? Umm! No one!
This shows not only the criminal mindset of politicians, but also the impotency of bureaucrats. All the bureaucrats who were CS, PS to CM, Chairman P&D, Finance Minister, and all the administrative secretaries of Punjab during May-June 2021 were those who were part of this crime. That was a huge waste. Imposed without feasibility studies. Dictatorial times.
Don’t ask if anything is great now. It is same as before. PMLN has brought its favorite bureaucrats in top positions – who love to serve PMLN more than the general public. This new lot of bureaucrats will hurt the system and public exactly the same way, but in another direction.
Now to the point!
Your subsidies hurt because your money is already wasted. Your money has gone to please the ministers. It has gone in housing schemes and development scams. It has been burned in sarkari vehicles. Dalay for dallay. Your money is already gone. Whoosh!
Story time:
Once upon a time, Chairman P&D wanted his wife to be hired in Bills & Melinda Gates Foundation for a polio project. The Chairman did all he could but the wife failed. Sad! But this didn’t end. The Chairman asked Secretary of the concerned Department to end the contract with Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. The Secretary did by formally issuing a letter – imagine his secretariat capabilities. Anyway, long story short, PM Office had to call CM Punjab to sort this shit out. The shit was sorted but none was suspended. All worked as usual as nothing criminal has happened.
Story ended without any conclusion.
Foreign-funded projects go to another level. They are robbing people with an interest rates. Do you know all the projects – which aren’t aid – have to be paid back with an interest rate over the years? No you don’t. Next time you open an ADP book of any province, have a look on foreign funded projects. And then do a research on what they are actually doing. You can have complete data from the source sites which are funding the projects. For example, World Banks’ website has all the data of their ongoing projects all over the world.
In Pakistan, relatives and friends of people on top posts are hired in these foreign-funded projects with huge salaries for incompetent and incapable people. Only a couple of good employees are hired to streamline the project. Rest are all bad references. Salaries can be as high as Rs.15 lac. Rs.4-6 lac is kinda normal salary for consultants who are not even consultants.
Another story time:
Once upon a time, during an Economic Affairs Division’s meeting, a foreign funded project (of over Rs.30 billion) was being discussed when discussion got heated as the project had nothing to show except salaries. EAD asked the provincial government to shut down the project. The relevant minister agreed. But then, top secretaries of the province – including Chairman P&D – declined to close it down. Because he had vested interests.
Story ended without any conclusion. Meri marzi!
Bureaucracy is lucky that no Manto was ever born here. No one spilled the beans. Prostitutes and brothels have a system. Much better. At least they give a service in return of money. Bureaucracy is worse than that. You can’t even differentiate who is who. Who’s the pimp? Who’s for sale? It’s a brothel house in complete chaos, where everyone is running and looking busy, and talking to the clients, yet no client is being served. None! Not even His Highness. But why is the rum gone?
Coming to the conclusion. These politicians need IMF for themselves. After local budget is badly allocated and loan-based projects are messed-up, IMF and other countries are needed.
IMF was usually not needed when Military Generals were directly ruling the country. Zia had billion dollar funded jihad. Musharraf had billion dollar funded anti-jihad. Gillani was the last guy to went to IMF in 2008 for $7.6 billion loan. After that, Pakistan went to IMF in 2018 under Imran. Not taking sides here. PMLN gave a challenging economy to PTI in 2018. Ironically, PTI had given even worse back to PNLN in 2022.
Take this. No, you take this. This is in shambles. The house of cards is falling. Mary had a little lamb. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Reluctant to fall. Came down with the wall. Cards. Are we all drunk?
They’re all screwing you. With the help of bureaucracy. And establishment. And the whole system. And somehow, you are enjoying it. Why?
If you look closely, with your right hand on your heart, you shall know His Highness is the only person for you. But he isn’t standing. He’s sitting. Correctly.
Category: Pakistan
Fuel for Thought
Billions are given to sugar mafia through subsidies.
Billions are given in huge support packages to development and land sectors. This was the only sector which was given billions during Covid-19; more than health itself. You already know why!
Billions are spent every year on official vehicles which roam freely in and around cities as thugs who care about nothing. By the way, bureaucrats are the true winners. They get oil in liters – litters – not in Rupees. So it doesn’t matter if its Rs.180 per liter. They know how to make the right policies, albeit for themselves.
Anyway.
Billions are spent every year on new weapons and new missiles for nothing. Even after achieving balance of power and deterrence, the necessity of defense budget never stabilizes. It always hurt people’s pocket, who get goosebumps in return on patriotism.
Billions are spent on privileges of judges, bureaucrats, army, ministers, secretaries, etc.
The simple worth of Military Businesses (MilBus) in Pakistan was over $20 billion in 2008. Must be around $50 billion today. Yet, billions from national exchequer are needed again and again and again.
And no one asks how and why and what for.
But give relief to the general public and they will count every penny and will keep on mentioning it every single day.
Give relief in petroleum and everyone will tweet about the damages the country is facing.
Give subsidy in metro / public transport and the whole bureaucracy will tell you how much they are bearing.
Funds for students of HEC are not being allocated properly. They are badly short of funds and are cutting students every year. This year, the situation is pretty alarming.
Same is the case of pensions – mind you, civil pensions, not military. They have made sure that the whole country knows that the biggest burden the country is facing is of pensions. You. Your old folks. Because they can’t handle you.
These white-collar-thieves tell you about Rs.1 when it comes to onions, tomatoes and potatoes. Rs.1/-.
They have press briefings on how they are managing to give relief of Rs.5/- in flour or Rs.8 in rice.
They make you feel like beggars. But then, they call you out and make you feel like kings and queens around the elections, and the euphoria is so high with the beat and the music that you don’t get it.
Why don’t you get it?
When will you get it?
Why you are such an idiot?
Services by the Government are services on behalf of people for people by the people. No one expects a return / profit on military services. Because it’s a service. Try to think same way for public transport, health and education as well. At least.
You are not the burden. They are the burden.
You don’t need IMF. They need IMF.
Your pension, your fuel, your public transport, your education and your health are not the burden.
Their vehicles, their fuel, their privileges, their developments, their lands, their bailouts, their reliefs, their theft, their wars, their lust for blood; these are the real burden.
His Highness isn’t pleased with this Rs.30 increase in fuel. Not into arguments. We all know the shit when it comes to us. But the thing is: this is going to haunt the lower strata really badly, which is already suffering under hyper-inflation.
Nationally Sexist
Though this land is pure and it is defined by its religion, but you peek a little closely and this land offers you nothing but hypocrisy. Hypocrisy wrapped with tasbeeh in hand and religion all around.
Women have been ridiculed here in politics since the beginning. Don’t know how and when we inherited that. Ayub didn’t spare Fatima Jinnah when he was politically challenged by a woman.
Benazir was ridiculed when PMLN was enjoying the lap.
Musharraf had worst kind of language for women rape victims.
Listen to some prominent heads of PMLN and you will find them full of sexism and misogyny.
One argument that opponents make against Bilalwal is by objectifying him. Sheikh Rasheed and many others love to make trash jokes to look funny. They call him names and make sexist jokes shamefully, as if being a woman is a sin here. It is by the way, isn’t it?
And that same Bilalwal stood taller than all the loudmouths yesterday when he defended ex-PM’s visit of Russia in US. He left vengeance and hate at home and declined to wash the dirty linen abroad. Touché!
Anyway. Women have been ridiculed and objectified here in politics. In fact, even in wars too as a strategy.
In 1971, women of the East were raped and killed during the war. A prominent strategy of the war was to insult and degrade women of Bangal physically and psychologically. And we never apologized for our sins. We don’t even accept without ifs and buts.
What Imran Khan did today is not only below the belt but disgusting. This defines him. Populism – just like Trump was sexist and misogynist – has its way. Cult never gets it. In fact, the cult cheers on such trash and this is exactly why they were there. It’s more like a stage drama where people are for Punjabi comedy which revolves around filthy jokes.
Imran Khan – being a leader of his party who loves to portray himself as a Caliph – let this be for you:
تسبیح پھری تے دل نہیں پھریا ، کیہ لینا تسبیح پھڑ کے ہُو
علم پڑھیا تے ادب نہ سکھیا،کیہ لینا علم نوں پڑھ کے ہُو
سِر تے ٹوپی تے نیت کھوٹی
لینا کی سِر ٹوپی تَرھ کے؟
تسبیح پھِری پر دِل نہ پھِریا
لینا کی تسبیح ہتھ پَھڑ کے
And for all those coming up with pictures of Khan’s family! Shame on you too! You are more disgusting because you are not getting it even now.
Charismatic without Ethos, Pathos & Logos
The followers were happy when he entered through help. But they became extremely angry when he was asked to leave through the same corridors.
The followers became radicals. Already radicalized became a cult. Suddenly they started to see missing people and silencing of voices too.
But they couldn’t see logic or reason.
The speeches are the same. Without ethos, pathos and logos.
Yet the followers are electrified. What was the outcome of the last 3.5 years? No questions.
What are the achievements? Ah! and Ums!
What about meeting Americans now? Shut up.
What is the offer? Any change of plan? Any new finance minister to market like Asad Umar? No.
Did killers of Shaiwal massacre were given justice or were they silenced like Model Town incident? Or do you have only Jokhio at hand to play your political games?
Were you not ‘blackmailed’ twice? One recently by the opposition and establishment. And the other time by the dead bodies of Hazara.
Was DPO of Pakpattan not changed on personal grudges? Didn’t your own star IG of police resign because of your own hypocrite policies?
Did Balochistan or Hazara or any marginalized society felt safer in your tenure?
Were parents of APS massacre given voice? Or justice? Or some room?
Wasn’t Ehsan Ullah Ehsan freed in your tenure?
Did we achieve anything for Kashmir or was it just a political game?
Kashmir went to India without a hurdle when you went to the US. Wasn’t that a conspiracy?
Did you ever voiced for Muslims of Yemen or Uighurs, or were they ignored because of your ‘sovreign foreign policy’? Didn’t you support Arabia against Yemen militarily?
Corruption went down or reached new heights in your 3.5 years? Wasn’t ‘corruption’ the mantra? It is even a slogan now.
Did you bring back $200 billion corruption money? Did you categorically and clearly put a single bureaucrat or political behind bars? Or did you play the game with your corrupt men against their corrupt men and hence, no one was taken to the cleaners in the end?
How many ordinances were promulgated by your President? Wasn’t that the worst era of ordinances, beating martial laws too?
Offers are like a populist fascist. Religion. Superiority. Greatness. Propaganda. I. Me. I. Me.
I know there is no substitute. I know the cliché of “lesser evil” but that is not even the case here. It’s the exact same evil with higher velocity of madness and propaganda.
Yet, the crowd is here without questions. Just following a persona, a charisma.
The times they are a-changin’. The world has a number of such leaders today who brush logic and reasoning under the carpet and no one sees or asks.
One – Modi – is in the neighborhood too.
And the followers of one idiot don’t like the followers of another idiot. Playing with the same sentiments of religion, nationalism, and superiority. Abusing each other. In the mirror. Forever and ever.
Without ethos, pathos, and logos.
P.S. In the end, no one matters except boys. Remember RTS? Daska? Any other election? Good!
Perween Rahman’s Karachi
Parween Rehman tried to do – and did to a valuable extent – which we cannot even think of because we are too cowardly and lazy to be a fierce warrior like her.
Apart from development issues, her main struggle was for water for the poor neighborhood of Orangi in Karachi. And what did she get? Bullets. She fought for Karachi and Karachi killed her. As easy as in Balochistan.
The mismanagement – of water, nullahs, land, and buildings like Nasla Towers – are all rooted in the bureaucracy of Karachi. The babus who came and sat on the district and provincial administration of Karachi, have ruined Karachi. They made water a tradable business. Stole water from the poor and then sold it in tranches in trucks.
Perween’s investigation revealed that over 160 illegal hydrants were operating in Karachi, which was over 41% of water of the city, stolen from the poor neighborhoods. That was 270 million gallons a day. That was like a $500 million business per year.
This is an organized nexus, managed through fear. With PPP in power (since 2007) in Sindh and MQM having a fair share of power in Karachi, the system works with a nexus of bureaucracy – which includes administrative services of the city and top echelon of police. These are suited-booted robbers who love lecturing us, and have made this whole cartel against public through public offices. Blood is spilled regularly. Unidentified murderers. Ambulances rush. Postmortems are done. And then mothers and wives spend the rest of their lives in pain and terror.
A while back, Rangers came to halt this, apparently. People were killed by men in uniform as ruthlessly as police. Both the uniforms worked hand in hand against public. Things got even worse when Rao Anwar came to the surface with 444 encounters. Grasp this. 444 murders. Even Supreme Court succumbed to his tactics because he was a boy of the Boys.
While blood never dries in the city, people wait for days for water. Sometimes, water pumps are opened weekly, and sometimes fortnightly. While the rulers of the city are busy in toppling the rulers in the capital, no one is in-charge of the mess. Because those who cared are either murdered (like Perween Rehman) or already buried (like Bilquis Edhi) by the city.
Saturdays Redefined
Saturdays have never been better. Live action every weekend from 10 am to 1 am next morning.
What else can one demand in life? I’m so fine with this. This culture. This mob. Inside parliaments. This is too good for Netflix.
You don’t even need a subscription. It’s free. Choose a side and enjoy.
Every Saturday is like a new season. You have new villains and no heroes. Only hoes.
My favorite episode was from last weekend. That prison van and Bajwa doing all the constitutional stuff and courts opening in midnight to change one hybrid regime with another hybrid regime on the behest of one man, Bajwa, against another villain, Khan. Loved that.
My second favorite was DJ ISPR. He was so good. Even his expressions were as confused as his content. He was bickering live comical stuff with so many doubts. But never stopped. Embarrassingly. Loved that character.
And today is another dish being cooked live since morning. This time it’s Punjab’s parliament and goons are having a day. Chilling, beating, sleeping, all live.
No doubt the Cartoon PM couldn’t bear our happiness with TV screens and took our Saturdays away. Shameless!
After Alpha Bravo Charlie, this is the finest production by ISPR. Can’t deny that. His Highness always gives credit where it’s due.
The Coward and His Cult
“Did I ever break the law?“, he roared. “No!!!” the crowd shouted in reply… and the whole city was submerged under a dense smog of dumbness.
“Yes, you did. You violated the Constitution“, said no one.
Because cult following has a thing: It’s of idiots. Always.
Let’s recap – brief history of not-so-homo-sapiens:
Right after independence, Jinnah sensed power hunger among top military officials – including Ayub Khan. However, Jinnah left soon and things became easier for the men in uniform.
Then came Bhutto in the 1960s, who became Bhutto because of General Ayub Khan. However, when he had a falling out with Ayub, he stood up and fought against him. He fought against General Zia too until he was jailed and hanged.
Break Time: Two cents for idiots – There are still people who believe that in 1971, Bhutto (not in power) was able to overpower General Yahya (in power) so that Mujeeb (man with majority mandate) couldn’t form his Government. It was the military which didn’t come to terms with the fact they have to follow East Pakistan.
Anyway, During General Ayub’s time, Fatima Jinnah also stood against him in 1965. She was also labeled as ‘traitor’ and ‘agent of India’. These treacherous games are not new.
Then came Benazir in 1988, who stood against consistent military interventions with jail-time, until she was assassinated in 2007. She named General Musharraf in her life as conspirator against her. She paved her way back to
Pakistan through dialogues and was the co-founder of the 18th Amendment which devolved power to provinces.
Then came Nawaz for this third turn in 2018 – after two past failures through military. When he was ousted, he took names of generals in Lahore and Gujranwala. Didn’t shy away.
Now come to Imran Khan, who became PM in 2018. He remained powerless until he was adopted by General Pasha and Co. in 2010-11. He is in power in KP since 2013. In 2022, he was ousted by Bajwa, through the same old court tactics. However, Khan couldn’t name names.
Among all the civilian prime ministers, or puppets, he’s the most coward one – yet the loudest ones – who blames other puppets even when he was humiliated and thrown out by someone else.
Fatima Jinnah took names. Bhutto took names. Mujeeb took names. Benazir took names. Nawaz took names. All of them took names when they were hurt. But Khan – No. Too coward for that and too dependent on the military for his future.
Let me elaborate. Yesterday, he named Raymond Davis in Peshawar jalsa and blamed it on courts. Well, Davis was escorted by General Pasha himself from the court to the airport. But Khan couldn’t name him. He just brushed it under the judicial carpet.
He blamed courts for his ouster too. Well, yes, courts were opened at midnight; but not for imponents of PMLN or PPP or PDM. Everyone knows who opened the courts. Yet, Khan couldn’t name.
He is pulling a cult of thousands of people wherever he goes, yet he has nothing else to offer except that same old rhetoric of 2011. But idiots don’t get it. You sometimes keep on listening to the same song on repeat, even when the lyrics sucks, just because the music is good.
Now come to cults. Yes. You, idiot!
Just kidding. Not now.
Thank you Chief!
Those who believed “missing people” is a hoax, were protesting with posters of Vigo last night.
Those who said “PTM is against the state”, were against the state like PTM yesterday.
Those who used to say “must have done something”, were tweeting “what have they done?” this weekend.
Those who believed elections were “free and fair” in 2018, were shouting against “neutrality” in 2022.
Those who believed it’s the ugly politicians and clean establishment, were against ugly establishment for clean politicians in massive crowds.
Thank you Chief! You did what others couldn’t do. I mean, they did. But they did not. Acres and acres of lands were gone and billion-dollar pizza empires were raised and no one had a clue.
And look at you?
Thank you!
Youthopia
4 steps to greatness:
Pre-requisite: Tasbih. It’s handy.
Step 1: Make a story that West is against you and America has purchased traitors to oust your government.
Step 2: Sell it. Market it. Advertise it daily. Tell people your life is in danger too.
Step 3: Use Constitution to breach Constitution and dissolve the government. Do what America was trying to do. Oust yourself. Conquer your fear.
Step 4: Back to Step 2. Sell and market yourself. Daily. Take fake phone calls. Quote Medina, Islam, Hussain, Rumi, and whoever you know. Keep speaking.
Meanwhile –
Idiots before Step 3: West is trying to oust the government of Pakistan.
Idiots after Step 3: Khan has ousted the government himself. One ball, three wickets.
One.
Ball.
Dialogue –
Government: America tried to change the government of Pakistan.
Russia: Yes.
America: No.
China: What?
Sheikh Rasheed: What?
ISI: What is happening?
Mian Channu: Nothing. Keep recording tapes. Who with who for how long…
Gill: Randi!
Deputy Speaker: Article 5. All rise! All sit! Leave!
Opposition: Let’s play. Ayaz! Sit and make me the PM.
PM: A country, America, Oh! Haha! WTF! Not America! Yes, America!
Aurat March: Is he insane?
Shireen: See! Foreign powers are after me?
Idiots: [cheering with dance moves]
PM: You topple me? I topple myself.
Idiots: Check-mate! Kaptaan!
UK: What mate?
Fawad: Foreign powers. Foreign powers. Foreign powers.
America: You just did what we were supposed to do?
Qureshi: Raymond Davis!
[a creak among the woods of Margalla… hogs with wigs rising from slumber… and big bellies… Suo Moto]
Judge: You don’t wake us up on a lazy Sunday after a sneezy Saturday, where we match bellies and wigs with all the vulgarities of the capital. We need time…
Gill: Dallay!
Judge: What?
Gill: Oh! Allow me to explain linguistics at my home your honor!
Epilogue of Naya (Beta Version 2) –
I promised you new homes. 5 lac. 5 million. So, here I bring you my finest offer – ex-Chief Justice Gulzar of Pakistan – who took homes by cranes and the residents by trousers.
Gee Gulzar sb! Aik ghazal?
Welcome to Youthopia.
This is your home.
I know geography.
Nothing Permanent & Nothing Personal
William Clay said, “This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends, only permanent interests.”
Don Vito Corleone said, “Keep your friends close, but enemies closer.”
Nicolo Machiavelli wrote a whole book ‘The Prince’ on this topic. This all is nothing personal, strictly business.
So, opponents of Khan must be rejoicing at the moment that he has taken a U-turn regarding Chaudhary. Same can be said for PMLN who are friends with PPP at the moment and vice versa. All these parties, including all their individual parliamentarians, have done something similar in past.
Changing parties.
Changing friends.
Changing enemies.
And it’s ok.
The thing is an ideology should be there to stand intact. And yes, our political parties and their men don’t have an ideology. A little difference in shade, and they are exactly the same. That’s the ugly problem.
Jinnah had an ideology. He was in Congress. Then he became ambassador of Hindu-Muslim Unity and stood with both Congress and Mulsim League. Then he bycotted both during Non-cooperation Movement. Then he stood with Muslim League for Muslim Representation in United India. And then, way down the line of history, he opted for Pakistan. Can you lable him with U-turns too? NO.
All this while he had AN IDEOLOGY. He had a VISION and he stood – with others or without others – for that ideology only. He even left politics of India and went to England because his ideology was in contrast to the political environment at home.
Sadly, we don’t have a single ideological leader today.
I – His Highness – will stand with anyone for civil supremacy, equal rights, democracy, and rule of law. I am anti-establishment and anti-milbus to the core. That’s all. For that, I will stand – or sit – with anyone down the road.
Now crossing the floor; which is also acceptable. Pretty much allowed by the constitution. Winston Churchill had also benefited from this practice. You cannot label it bad or good just because of your bias.
When Tareen was gathering these ducks in plane, it had a meaning for you. Today, it is disgraceful. No. It’s actually the same thing and only your bias is making it painful. Again, it’s pretty much constitutional. Change it, amend it, or bear it.
That’s pretty much it. Jokes apart, Khan didn’t do wrong in appointing Chaudhary as the next candidate for Punjab, because it’s politics. Chaudhary will remain a vomit nonetheless, who has been vomited in reverse by all the political parties.
U-turns have been taken by all. Khan just has to swallow a lot more because he speaks a lot and that’s because ‘speaking’ is his Unique Selling Point (USP). He called people to Islamabad for Trump Card and offered them nothing, yet crowd went home happily.
One sad thing though is Khan’s ego. He had a majority in both provincial assemblies of KPK and Punjab. And just to sit on PM’s seat in Federal, he is messing two giant provincial governments as well. His ego is one major reason that PTI is crubming in provinces.
Lastly – really – these are puppets without an ideology or a vision. A new combo is made by military after every decade, which is a mixture of different combos, to fight the previous combo, for interests of military business.
Bhutto came through the door of Ayub. Nawaz and MQM through Zia. Chaudries through Musharraf. And Khan through Pasha and Faiz. None of these combinations were democratic or civil. None of them. Those who stood against this practice – like Fatima Jinnah – were insulted, disgraced and eliminated.
The new setup will also be a combo of current defaulters. And you will be sitting in front of your television justifying the new odds of the same old ducklings.
Enjoy the show. The casting is shitty but the content is captivating. You wake-up to something stupid everyday. What else you want in life? Democracy?