MilBus

No minus-one is going to happen. Not in Federal. Not in Punjab. With all the mess around and all the civil posts under non-civils, it’s not even needed. No need to change the diapers.
 
Extended Bajwa and Faez – not our Faiz – came and smiled while the PM was gibbering at Diamer-Basha Dam. A nod. A smile. All good.
 
Retired Bajwa – CPEC boy – suffered on Twitter. But the herd came on time and defended the defenders. But that’s not my problem. My problem is different.
 
Firstly, I cannot differentiate between a Toyota and a Honda without seeing their logos. So, as you can guess, I didn’t know about Toyota ZX. I know about FX though.
 
Anyway.
 
Secondly, when I read the cost of Rs.3 million, I was like this is less than his current monthly salary. Why so serious then? And then – another then – I saw the actual cost of Toyota ZX. Over Rs.3 crores.
 
And crux of my problem is, even if someone will offer me a brand new Toyota ZX for Rs.3 million, I wouldn’t be able to purchase it. My evolutionary solution is; I don’t need that. I am Jack’s broken heart.
 
Don’t be selfish.
They are awake, when you are asleep.
When you are asleep, they take your stuff.
They take your stuff; you go into Stockholm syndrome.
And Stockholm is beautiful.
 
So. No minus-one needed. All is good.
 
On the other hand, we took Faez – our Faez Isa – to the cleaners. We unskinned him and took all the measures to make him look ugly and questionable. Why? Because he questioned the unquestioned. Because he did what Twitter tried on Retired Bajwa. Because he stood corrected. Our Faez.
 
Even after stripping him naked, he stood tall. Without an army behind. Without an intelligence to manipulate. Without a moral brigade on social media.
 
Before twitter, there was a woman named Dr. Ayesha Siddiqua. She wrote a book and become a certified traitor. In her ‘Military Inc.’ (2007), she detailed the business empire of the military. Which is like a spider-web. She estimated ‘MilBus’ (military business) of being worth £10 billion. She said boys have 12% of the country’s land. That was in 2007.
 
You can browse Eliot Wilson’s article on Spectator for more details. Or you can read the book: Military Inc. by Dr. Ayesha Siddiqua. And then you can become despicable too.
 
Or you can abuse those who ask questions. In that case, you don’t need to read or analyze or be a sane man. You don’t even need a mind. Your dumbness would be enough.
 
That’s all a state needs – when it’s a security state.
That’s all a religion needs – when it’s in danger.
 
There was East India Company before. Now there is West Pakistan Company. Or Pakistan Company. Because there is no East anymore. High 5!
 
Shut up!

Our Chomsky and their Hoodbhoy

Noam Chomsky is a linguist and a philosopher. He’s a renowned expert in his field and is loved by his students across America. But that’s not all. He is known worldwide because of his whistle-blowing and political activism. A heretic, a rebel; who criticizes American hegemony vehemently. He regularly opinionates against militarism, violence, capitalism and discrimination.

His educational work / career remains unhindered regardless of his critical views against the state. He has a strong influence – deservingly – in both education and politics.

In Pakistan, we love Noam Chomsky. We love to quote him. We use his words as a reference particularly in the Palestine-Israel conflict. He is ‘our’ intellectual hero who has exposed all the devils of the world. We just love him.

But.

Brace for impact. We are landing. In the land of pure… hypocrisy.

We have a similar heretic and rebellious professor here. Pervez Hoodhboy. He is a physicist and has degrees from MIT. And like Chomsky, he keeps on expressing his political views. He never hesitates to expose corruption around him. Just last year, he unveiled corruption of millions of rupees in government universities.

But we hate him. We hate him to the extent that we have thrown him out of the university. We don’t want him to teach rationality and modern sciences to our kids.

Because light makes us blind.

We doubt his credentials. As well as his sanity. We doubt his words. As well as his loyalty.

We have tagged him too. Haroon Rasheed – who loves to vomit live on TV – has recently ‘revealed’ Hoodhboy is an American agent. Alas! Here we are. Since the beginning.

Agents. Traitors. From Fatima Jinnah to Bacha Khan to Walli Khan to Marri to Suhrawardy to G. M. Syed to Mujeeb to Bugti to Faiz Ahmad Faiz to Jalib and hundreds of others to those abducted to those in unidentified graves to you and to me.

We have foreign heroes. Arundhati Roy. Edward Snowden. Jullian Assange. Daniel Ellsberg. Chelsea Manning. And Noam Chomsky. Astoundingly, we hate the same minds at home. Like Asma Jahangir. Eqbal Ahmed. Tariq Ali. Ammar Ali Jan. And Pervez Hoodhboy.

We lost one half in 1971. Because 55% of the population was of traitors. So – fortunately or unfortunately – majority decided to part ways. That is too a comic. Because it was the first time in history when majority decided to find a separate homeland after getting tired of stubborn minority.

Anyway.

We are firing teachers. Not like we are firing bullets. But literally. We are firing all the men we doubt. Because credentials and PhDs are guttered when loyalty is doubted. After all, that’s the whole idea behind a successful marriage.

Our hypocrisy and ‘corrected’ history have brought us here. Here.

Dissent is a beauty of any living society. You may disagree, but you defend the right to express. I disagree with Hoodbhoy on certain points, but I know; he knows how to hit the cord where it hurts the most. And the cord is of truth. Brutal truth.

And other times I just feel sad for him. He is fighting for more than 3 decades for sanity. He could have moved abroad. Very easily. But he stood here. And decided to fight against the holy cows – mullah, judiciary and establishment – along with their herd of 22 crore sheep.

Edwin Markham poem “Outwitted” says:

He drew a circle that shut me out-

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle and took him In!

Kids – From Pakistan to Kashmir to Afghanistan

Two stories. Of violence. Of gun-shots. Of state-terrorism.
 
But that’s not the point.
 
In one story, a whole family was brutally attacked by the state. Killing half of the family right in front of the remaining half. In broad day-light.
 
Those who were going to a marriage hall, ended up in a morgue. Those who were going to play with kids, were out-played by the state guns.
 
But even that’s not the point.
 
Point is hypocrisy.
 
You have been nurtured and brainwashed. Even your DNA must have compromised.
 
You saw the other kid – not our kid – in Kashmir. Traumatized by the Indian state. The kid sitting over his dead nana’s chest, in blood.
 
So, you wept. You took the pain personally. You highlighted the case. Took it internationally. Tweeted it to the foreign news agencies.
 
Back home, our kids suffered without justice.
Back home, everything remained normal after the massacre.
Back home, all the culprits and perpetrators were freed.
 
In Sahiwal massacre, 4 were killed by state bullets, including a 13-year old girl. 2 kids witnessed the whole episode.
 
But for the Kashmiri kid, we want justice. We want the world to take a strict notice. We want the world to bomb the hell out of the killers.
 
For the Kashmir kid.
Ignoring our Pakistani kids.
 
Oh! epiphany. Remember “two-legged dogs”?
 
Hundreds of children were killed in drone strikes in Afghanistan. Guess who provided the sites / stations for the drones? Don’t weep. Keep mourning.
 
Those were all kids. Those kids in Pakistan, in Kashmir, in India, in Afghanistan… were kids. They all suffered equally in the hands of ugly state narratives. Be it any state.
 
What matters is your domain. Your domain starts from your home and your street. So, if you were numb a year back, you are just being hypocrite now. Even your pain political.
 
Mourn. But mourn without political affiliation and national bias.

Post 8303 and PIA

Blaming IK or PTI for PIA is your political bias. They don’t even share 5% of the blame. First and foremost, air marshals ruined it. Of all the institutions under the boys, PAF got this one. And like all the other ones under men-in-uniform, this one is also ruined. Imagine! Air Marshal Arshad Malik and his predecessors did not have a proper mechanism for recruitment of pilots. So, 8303 happened. Bad judgement and poor piloting skills led to a catastrophe. Catastrophes. Then PPP. The party which is known for giving jobs in bulk to the least capable people. For votes. Behind an ugly employees-to-aircraft ratio in PIA, no one is to blame except PPP. No wonder we have the clueless men on ground and fake pilots up in the air. In abundance. Why don’t we export them? Anyway. And PML-N. They were here in federal government for 5 years from 2013 to 2018. PIA kept bleeding before, during, and after their tenure. 47 people died in a plane crash in Havelian in 2016 and yet we didn’t dissect PIA. We covered the incident like we cover dead bodies. Like Punjab Police, ugly footsteps of PML-N can be traced in PIA too. Don’t jump. Let it crash. PTI deserves the credit at least for highlighting the facts in the media and exposing the ugly hierarchy of PIA, as well as of pilots. EU has banned PIA for 6 months. Quite reasonable. Let’s hope that the issues will be resolved and ugly ducklings will be removed and thrown out. Or we can privatize it. Nothing is above human lives. That too in cases where you have to keep an instituition alive with billions in bailout packages. Like Pakistan Steel Mills. Get it done. Or be done with it. No more bailout. No more scapegoating. No more sugar-coating. And. As I always reiterate; these PPP, PML-N, PTI, PML-Q, MQM, etc. are all eggs. Rotten eggs. Laid by the same hen. Try slaughtering it someday. You may find a golden egg.

Random Numbness II (June 2020)

Firdaus Aashiq warned that the virus can enter from “neechay se”. She advised to cover your mouth as well as your genitals.
Zartaj Gul defined the 19 points of Corona.
Asad Umar explained that we are at the lowest already. We can’t go any lower. Isn’t this hopeful?
Then came Riaz Fatyana. During the sugar crisis, he went against sugar, not the usual scapegoat of ‘mafia’. Now, he locusted in the National Assembly. ‘Eat Locust. Beat Corona’.
Sheikh Rasheed is selling 24 crore tickets. Haleem Adil is distributing funds among 29 billion people. Qureshi is busy fighting Tareen. Tareen is busy making money. Money is busy dipping. Fawad is busy spilling beans. Vawda is busy being an asshole.
And just when we thought the episode was over, came Prime Minister himself. He challenged the opposition to point out his any contradiction since March. March 2020. Not March 2010. He knows.
For instance, back in the not-sold-days, IK used to bash war on terror and our funded Jihad and collateral damage. He asked for trial of the terrorist Bin Laden. Then, during transactional-mode, he stopped giving opinions. Now, after-sales-service, he is back. With the oldest and strongest narrative. Shaheed.
Bin Laden is shaheed.
All those, who died fighting Bin Laden, were also shaheed.
Those who stood behind Bin Laden, shaheed.
Those who stood against Bin Laden, shaheed.
Kids who were killed in school, shaheed.
People who were bombed, shaheed.
Welcome. To the Windmill of Shaheeds.
We make and sell Shaheeds.
Yardstick of our ideology.
But not all that lost are shaheeds.
Rao Anwar is ghazi.
Ehsan Ullah Ehsan is ghazi.
Ertugrul is ghazi.
I deviated. Now back to Majlis-e-Shora!
Imagine, these folks – all these comedians – are making budget, policies, setting priorities and running the state. ‘Apparently’. We know there is another hierarchy of duffers who is running the state, actually, but yes, there are apologists who believe not them but them and them and democracy.
Where do such out-of-the-box ideas come from? Memes? WhatsApp jokes? Because these ideas are not in newspapers. Or scholarly articles. Or books.
Or maybe, when they can’t sleep in the night – not because of their ugliness but because of making less – they have profound thoughts. They concentrate. And then they get an epiphany.
What are the rationale ones doing? Getting fired probably. Mohammed Hanif. Ammar Ali Jan. Pervez Hoodhboy. Or being humiliated. Like Faez Isa.
This all looks like chaos. Everything falling apart. Right? Wrong.
Everything moving so fast, yet no progress. Like foreign funding case. Or Musharraf’s treason.
PIA, like Suparco, is all going down. With fake licenses of pilots, imagine the future of the airline. Death.
You dissent, you get fired. Literally too.
People go missing. Have you seen supporters of duffers and status quo gone missing? No. Specific ones only. Targeted ones. Only.
Doctors being threatened. From Quetta to Lahore.
Students being punished. Baton charged. Humiliated.
Censorship gagging you. Choking.
Yet, you have to survive. Like an insect. Regardless of all the ugly conditions.

In-law-Faiz vs. Above-law-Faiz

Geo won and Ary didn’t lose. Right?

With over 1.8 million pending cases and the likes of Rao Anwar and Ehsan Ullah Ehsan free, SC did win yesterday. It did.

It won against Musharraf too, but then it got scared of boys.

All the way, it was between the two Faizes.

In-law-Faiz took notice of Above-law-Faiz as to what he was doing at Faizabad? The latter – along with his boys – got offended.

The Dentist was asked to file a reference against In-law-Faiz. He did.

Result: Bad root-canal. Though painless.

Hail In-law-Faiz! He gave a bold verdict on Faizabad Dharna. He questioned Marriage Halls Business. He questioned the involvement of boys here and there and everywhere.

Just imagine if Judiciary would have taken it as an instituition? Like the boys. It could have resulted in humiliation in various other cases too; including cases of Rao Anwar, Musharraf, and Ehsan Ullah.

It could have been men-in-black vs. men-in-khaki. Like it was in 2007-08. Men-in-black won then. Because they are also brave and patriotic. They can attack a hospital. Kill patients. Burn police vans. What not?

Khair.

You and I are mere spectators. Sometimes we differ in our views. But, we are spectators nonetheless.

We are provided with entertainment. Where we have to choose between In-law-Faiz and Above-law-Faiz.

The only thing to know is the truth. Know it rightly. Decode the usual stuff. And stand corrected.

In-Law-Faiz has won. For now at least. May be judiciary will take a u-turn in a couple of days. Like they did in Musharraf’s treason case.

Punjab’s Budget 2020

Budget is a little technical thing. Media usually is unable to understand it, and hence misguides the public. Even the bureaucrats, who give nods to the financial decisions, don’t get it. They have to be taught every time. Every single time.
 
And as soon as they get any ‘out-of-the-box’ question, the subordinates are fucked.
 
Will tell you a not-joke after the lecture.
 
The working class in the government sector is actually pathetic. 99% of the people are idiots. After cramming MCQ books and using contacts, they get the jobs. See the fall of PIA with one of the highest employee to aircraft ratio.
 
Same goes for NAB, FIA, etc. All these analysts and researchers working in NAB / FIA are unable to come with proofs against these political criminals. Why? Because they themselves are clueless. They don’t know how to see a book.
They don’t get the numbers.
 
Result: embarrassment in courts when NAB / FIA are unable to file references even after months.
 
Understanding monetary / budget games requires digging. Consistent digging. There are hundreds of projects in public sector which were allocated more funds than their approved costs (crossing the permissible sanctions), and even then the investigative organizations are unable to make a case.
 
Khair. Back to budget.
 
Lecture first:
 
Budget is divided into two parts. Development and Non-Development.
 
Non-Development is the usual non-technical shit; like salary and non-salary expenditures. You can call it regular budget too.
 
Development budget is about PSDP (federal level) or ADP (provincial level) development schemes which pass through different forums and feasibility steps before seeing the approval day. After which starts the release of funds and execution of the schemes. Establishment (schools, hospitals, roads, bridges, parks, etc.) of all government infrastructure falls under development.
 
Sahiwal power plant was a non-feasible power project by PML-N. Like Nandi Pur. Billions dusted.
 
Peshawar BRT is a tangible picture of PTI’s vision.
 
IPPs by PPP is a never ending curse on Pakistan’s financial instability.
 
Development budget is further divided into ‘Capital’ (which is related to civil work / brick and mortar) and ‘Revenue’ (equipment / items). PAS / DMG officers spend almost their entire lives dealing with these projects from tehsil level (being Assistant Commissioners) to provincial level (being Secretaries of different departments).
 
Above paragraph was the pre-requisite for that not-joke.
 
Once upon a time, a PAS / DMG officer of Grade-21 was being briefed about the development projects. He was unable to get anything. Even the difference between ‘capital’ and ‘revenue’. In the end, his subordinate briefed like that, “Sir yeh jo eento or bajri se banta hai na, wo ‘capital’ hota hai. Or jo kamre ke andar samaan para hota hai na, wo ‘revneue’ hota hai.”
 
Now that was a Grade-21 guy. Imagine what he had been doing being AC, DC, Commissioner, etc. No wonder we are where we are.
 
Anyway, wherever we are, here we are. With PTI’s 2nd provincial budget in Punjab, a little digging can help where we are leading. First, take the pandemic as constant. And let’s take only 1 example. Most relevant one. HEALTH:
 
In FY 2019-20, development budget of Health was Rs.45.500 billion.
For FY 2020-21, development budget of Health is Rs.33.612 billion.
 
This is a budget cut of Rs.11.888 billion in health sector. Remember: Covid-19. Pandemic. And all the media campaign of the government regarding their focus. No lockdown. Ok, fine. Not fine though. But this is nothing more than cruel intentions.
 
End of lecture for today. Save this one. It can be a source of less humiliation for you, if you are unlucky to become a bureaucrat. Someday. Somehow.
 
P.S. a couple of things:
1. A celebrity committed suicide 2 days back. Got a twitter trend. A sister of two missing brothers from Balochistan committed suicide 2 days back too. Nothing happened.
2. In the previous post, not a single figure was wrong. I sit corrected.
3. If you claim that a ‘number / fact’ was wrong, at least try to provide the correct ‘number’.
4. A couple of days back, a lady called me ‘bastard’. I don’t mind that. But I do mind when you copy-paste my posts lady!

Budget 2020

Dear herd!

Budget 2020 is simply like this:
Education: Rs.4 billions
Health: Rs.20 billions
Defence: Rs.1402 billions

I know. Education and Health are mainly under provinces (18th Amendment) and will get allocations through provincial budgets as well.

But dear Vawda-kinda! This Rs.1402 billion doesn’t include military pensions (Rs.369 billion which is 79% of federal government’s total pension bill). Major weaponry procurement. Mega projects under FWO. Security enhancement (Rs.45 billion last year). Or businesses. Their revenues. Plots. Potential DHAs.

And supplementary grants? Like the one which they got a month back of Rs.1.66 billion for a surveillance project.

And how many supplementary grants?

There is another calculation which I leave to you: subtract debt programmes from the total federal budget, and then calculate how much is allocated to defence (%age) vs rest of the country – considering we are fighting a pandemic.

Anyway, don’t bother.
But don’t be ill-informed.
And don’t defend the defenders for God sake.

We saw our PM cry every other day for the poor on TV. As he had no strategy or plan to tackle the virus, he offered us crocodiles tears. Regularly. And then his team presented a budget – shamelessly – wherein every single component related to the poor has been robbed.

After him comes Gill. Then Chauhan. Then Rashid. Then the other Rashid. Then Mirza. Then another. Another. Another. And the whole day is spent in press conferences with exactly the same rhetoric.
Blaming past.
Blaming virus.
Blaming opponents.
Blaming media.
Blaming people.

‘Mafia’ is the new scapegoat.
Who is behind medicine and drugs price hike? Mafia.
Who is behind sugar prices? Mafia.
Who is behind wheat crisis? Mafia.
Who is behind petrol crisis? Mafia.

Who is behind your seat Mr. Prime Minister? Mafia.

Rarely you see doctors on TV. They are not included in committees to handle the virus. They are not allowed to speak publicly. Their voice is completely missing. And the budget too – criminally – has ignored doctors and their advice.

This isn’t war. In fact, there is no war around the world at the moment. The whole world is tackling the same crises and doing its best to prevent it.

And here, in the land of pure, the budget has been prepared based on the same old two nation theory. Diamonds for me. Nickels for you.

Sadly – and honestly – blaming Khan or PTI is foolish too. They aren’t ever in power.
Just like their predecessors.
And their predecessors.
And their predecessors.

Random Numbness (June 2020)

Mere Pakistanio! We don’t have a simple plan. We have business plan. Plans. Locust is business too. Boys are on it and I trust them. At least with revenues.
 
I came to know that Ehsan Ullah is not in Turkey but in Islamabad. You don’t need to worry. He’s in safe hands. Like Rao Anwar. But you are pissed off. Right? So?
 
Quaid-e-Azam said, “You are free; you are free to go to your parks. You are free to go to your malls or to any other places of contracting the virus in this state of Pakistan. You may belong to any religion, caste or creed – that has nothing to do with the business of the state.”
 
How can I go against Quaid’s plan? How can I go against ‘business of the state’? You need to understand that.
 
With so many economic challenges around the world, I came with a plan. For poor and needy people. Catch locust and sell it for Rs.15/kg. This is the same rate of land acquisitions for DHA and Bahria and Fazaia.
 
Fazaia se yaad aya Faiza beauty cream is racist. And it doesn’t even work.
 
Anyway.
 
Doctors are crying. Complaining as usual. For PPEs and stuff. Such a shame that we have these unpatriotic doctors with no sense of nationalism. I don’t even consider them front-line warriors. In fact, I don’t consider them at all. They don’t even exist for me.
 
Who would have asked for this and that in war time? Pathetic!
When we sent PPEs to USA, they cried even more. No empathy. No sympathy.
 
Meanwhile, have you seen the audacity of Bangladesh? The little kids sent us medicine. Well, I don’t consider it a good gesture. These-crying-little-victims-of-1971 have nothing to offer us except blames. Look at them at what they have lost. They would have been celebrating May 28th a few days back but they chose medicine overall missiles.
 
Mere dumb Pakistanio! I know we are waiting for two things at the moment. Next episode of Ertugrul and the vaccine. Well, Ertugrul will be on time. For vaccine, these lazy scientists have to find something yet. And even if they will, what guarantees success?
 
Polio has a vaccine.
And we have polio.
You getting the point na?
 
See what’s happening in the US. The police brutality has taken a toll over blacks. At least we are not facing this issue. Blacks are safe here. Also, we never let people out in masses. Our security forces are always ready to cover the dark state. I would ask Trump to get a hold of himself and impose martial law. Immediately.
 
And look at Rome, Tokyo, Madrid, New York, London, Delhi, Red Light Areas of Amsterdam. Apart from perpetrators, there is nothing to be seen. And here, in Pakistan – let me be precise – even Heera Mandi is fully operational and treating the visitors like usual.
 
Mere Pakistanio!
 
Ap ne ghabrana nahi hai. Boys and I are on everything. Home Department, AG, IG, CPEC, Information, PIA, WAPDA, NDMA, PTV, CAA, Anti-Narco, FPSC, PDMA, PM Housing Authority, SUPARCO, POF and various other departments and authorities are now disciplined.
 
With goose-step every morning, all are attentive and uniformed departments. You cannot believe, but no other democratic government ever achieved this.
 
You voted us. No you didn’t. But yes you did. After all, Hitler was elected too. Ha ha! That was humor.
 
Let me end this with Iqbal’s couplet;
 
Subh-e-azal yeh mujh se kaha General nay
Jo aqal ka ghulam ho, wo dil na qabool ker

George Floyd

Malcolm X is as relevant today as he was back in the 60s. His brutally honest words took him to his grave. He knew he would be assassinated. There were attempts and phone taps and followings.

But he didn’t bow down.

Not to the FBI. Not to the US Government. Not to Elijah Mohammad. Not to the NOI. Not to anyone.

So – as he said after Kennedy’s assassination – chickens are coming home to roost.

US has seeded racial, religious and class discrimination across the world. Here, it is facing what it has done. But there are so many divisions among the Black community itself that it wouldn’t be now. Not this time. Until another Malcolm X arrives with the same brutal honesty.

Not Martin Luther King. Not Elijah Mohammed. Not Wallace Fard. But Malcolm X.

Now come to the police brutality.

Well, isn’t it the same here? Have you forgotten Sahiwal massacre? If you’ll compare US’s police with our local police, it will be a grotesque comparison. That cop who killed George Floyd has already been charged. On the contrary, our security personnel always go free after years of cooling-down-the-anger.

Like the killers of Sarfaraz Shah. The incident was recorded and went viral. But impotency here is so high that there wasn’t a single rally against the perpetrators.

And who can forget Rao Anwar’s 444 encounters. Even Supreme Court succumbed to his tactics.

And even if the police will do something tangible, like they did in case of Raymond Davis, boys will come to the rescue. Remember Pasha escorting Davis to the airport? Yes, you do. You didn’t utter a word.

But.

Your hypocrisy is conveniently making you talk. Big words. Justice. Equality. Law. Punishment. Shame.

Shame!

We are still on our way to become an uglier society. For over a decade, Hazara community has been targeted and killed. By state owned Lashkar-e-Jhangvi. Even IK tweeted this once.

Now, Hazara community has done the same and killed three young boys. This is completion of the cycle. But it is just the beginning of a vicious cycle. When victims become perpetrators, you know what’s coming.

So, don’t bother. You still have to compete with your own hypocritical dumbness.

And you have a topic. That Uzma, Usman, Sadaf, Shehroz stuff. Talk about that. Because you still have to figure out what’s better: to cheat and keep OR to divorce and marry.

Carry on.

Music!