The New Woke

Bajwa. He’s the most democratic Chief I’ve ever seen.

Pizza. No. He’s clean. I’m satisfied because he has written a letter to me. He should head CPEC and make Papa John proud.

Ghafoor. My 5th Gen good boy.

Faiz. Umm! Too chief to be good.

Three years have passed? Jesus! Didn’t realize that. Let me move the constitutional amendment for you my boy. Ask Faiz to bring all the parliamentarians in agreement.

Asma Jahangir died. One less traitor in the country.

We are on one page. In fact, we only have one page. It’s so nice to be on that page.

Missing people? We have made a bill. But it’s missing. That means there are no missing people but missing pages.

Musharraf. No, he’s not a traitor. Courts are wrong. Shouldn’t be tried at home. Absolutely not. Nawaz? Yes, absolutely yes.

2013. Rigged. 2018. Free and fair.

Pashteen. Treacherously ridiculous. Ban him.

Tere bin Laden is shaheed. Oh! Sorry. Shaheed.

Dead bodies. Can’t blackmail me. They died because they lived in Balochistan. And those who live, die.

ARY. That’s the only channel offering truth. GEO always demoralizes my boys. Sorry, our boys.

Media is free. As long as it is not critical of my boys. Make fun of me. Slightly. But boys, no. Ban it Pemra. Pick those who do.

Munir. No comments. But I request him to come and talk. Let’s talk. I’m ready for anything. No Faiz? No problem.

Ehsan Ullah Ehsan escaped? Never heard of him.

Ali Wazir? Who? In jail? Must have done something. Some treason.

Bajwa is accomplice. Yes. You are right. Faiz? No. You are.

Moral: No morals. No ethos. No pathos. No logos.

Conclusion: Likewise. Nawaz became democrat as soon as he was kicked in the bum. I became a democrat the same way too.

Herd’s conclusion: See, we are all woke now. IK has opened our eyes and has exposed the boys for the first time in the history of homo sapiens.

Author: SakiNama

His Highness

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